Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never ever ever ever ever ever never ever never never never never ever let your daughter go out unsupervised with this girl. I am a criminal defense attorney and the number of times I have represented the silent friend aka "the lookout" when silent friend and slutty underwear thief get picked up for shoplifting is very high. Some stores only charge the person who has the stuff on them, but others charge everyone in a group of kids. And most kids absolutely do not know what to do when their friend starts shoving crap in their purse on an outing to the mall.

Do not tell slutty underwear thief's mom. Get some distance from this kid. Quickly.

Np here, why not tell the thiefs mom? Truly curious.

Yes, PLEASE: why not tell the thief's mom?[i]

Ask your daughter how she would feel every time she looked at the gift. Wouldn't she feel icky because it's stolen? Not worth it unless you're starving.

First I would definitely tell the girl's mother.

Second, telling your daughter to give it back is a fool's errand. She won't do it. And based on my experience as a teenager, your daughter has shoplifted with this girl or been there when the girl has done it. Shoplifting is like a group virus. Girls do not do this alone. They do it together.

Anonymous wrote:Never ever ever ever ever ever never ever never never never never ever let your daughter go out unsupervised with this girl. I am a criminal defense attorney and the number of times I have represented the silent friend aka "the lookout" when silent friend and slutty underwear thief get picked up for shoplifting is very high. Some stores only charge the person who has the stuff on them, but others charge everyone in a group of kids. And most kids absolutely do not know what to do when their friend starts shoving crap in their purse on an outing to the mall.

Do not tell slutty underwear thief's mom. Get some distance from this kid. Quickly.

Np here, why not tell the thiefs mom? Truly curious.

Never ever ever ever ever ever never ever never never never never ever let your daughter go out unsupervised with this girl. I am a criminal defense attorney and the number of times I have represented the silent friend aka "the lookout" when silent friend and slutty underwear thief get picked up for shoplifting is very high. Some stores only charge the person who has the stuff on them, but others charge everyone in a group of kids. And most kids absolutely do not know what to do when their friend starts shoving crap in their purse on an outing to the mall.

Do not tell slutty underwear thief's mom. Get some distance from this kid. Quickly.

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to Larla's mom. Return the "gift" to her and explain that you can't accept such a gift. I would also mention how there were gifts for all the girls.

totally agree. return it to Larla's mom.

OP, she brought a bunch of 15 year old girls slutty underwear at a sleepover?

I would immediately take your daughter's phone and start going through her social media.

My biggest concern would not be the shoplifting. My concern would be the reason behind all the girls needing slutty underwear at a sleepover hosted at your house, and the very real possibility there are now slutty/nudy pics/videos of your minor daughter and her friends floating around online.

Point out to your daughter that receiving stolen property is a crime. If she knew or reasonably should have known that the gift was stolen, would she want to deal with that? Make sure she knows the consequences of stealing and the likely impacts of having an arrest on your record. We aren't responsible for our friends' choices and I don't immediately object to my teens remaining friends with kids who have done stupid things, but our expectations for our own kids include that they will stay out of legal trouble and I expect them to choose their social activities accordingly.

Hang out with this friend doing any activity we would find acceptable? Sure. Go shopping with her if my kid has any inkling she is engaging in shoplifting? Nope. Not okay to be a part of and at a minimum I would expect my DC to leave the situation.

I would ask your daughter if she finds stealing acceptable? And I would have her return the gift back to her friend.

Limited contact with new friend and never allow them to go shopping together.