Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:30     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday

OP,

You can stamp your feet and whine all you want, the reality is that moving can be extremely stressful and if they are at all like my parents, your ILs can't think of more than one thing at a time - actually moving by itself is an exercise in multitasking, so they're not doing too badly here! Knowing this, you should have expected they wouldn't be able to come.



Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:29     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:I guess I may be off base but it's how I feel. Like I said - holidays and birthdays are important to me. Will my daughter remember - no and am I planning to remind her about her grandparents not coming, no. But we will not have another time together (both families) again. It's sad they made that choice.


She is one year old! Are you having log lasting PPD or are you just this needy all the time? The only person who will harp on this is you. It is obvious that you are incapable of accepting what you don't want to hear. It was my 23 anniversary yesterday. Exactly one person remembered it, my DH, who is overseas and sent me flowers. My teens didn't remember, my ILS didn't remember, my sister didn't remember, for good part of the day, I didn't really remember. If you didn't write about this issue here I would never even mention it.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:28     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:And if caring makes me a drama queen - hand over the crown...



Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:25     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
1) It is what it is. They're moving, oh well! They are absolutely within the bounds of etiquette and acceptable family behavior to cancel.

2) It is GOOD that she told DH! It's better for DH to be the point of contact, especially if you're likely to be disappointed. Don't damage your relationship with a bad first reaction to news you don't like.

3) It sounds like this isn't about the party, this is about Grandma providing daycare to the other grandchild. Deal with your jealousy issues there.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:25     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
And if caring makes me a drama queen - hand over the crown...
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:23     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
I guess I may be off base but it's how I feel. Like I said - holidays and birthdays are important to me. Will my daughter remember - no and am I planning to remind her about her grandparents not coming, no. But we will not have another time together (both families) again. It's sad they made that choice.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:23     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:Birthday parties are not a big deal to me, I don't celebrate my own birthday ever. They were moving, she spoke to your DH,why does she have to talk to you? When ILS talk to their SILs there is all kind of outrage here as to why don't they just talk to their own son, but always demand stuff and blame DIL, now they spoke to him and it is still wrong. She is one year old. As they sound like good grandparents they will most likely show up with a present at another time, rather than taking time off during a move. The sense of entitlement here just reeks.


^^Talk to their DILs..
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:21     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:They were moving which is super stressful. Sorry you're mad but shit happens.


Op it sounds like they are pretty involved. You daughter will not remember. Honestly, a first birthday isn't that big of a deal.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:21     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here - but it's her first and probably only birthday where our family will come together. Sure she won't remember it but she'll have photos of everyone celebrating her except her grandparents.


Ah yes, those much cherished pictures of my first birthday party. C'mon, OP. You know that your kid won't care.


By the time she is old enough those pics will be in some pile or deleted if you forget to save them. My teens couldn't care less to look at their baby photos. You are a total drama queen. They were moving and they called, stop causing trouble where there is none.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:19     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Your husband won't say anything to his parents because you're being absolutely ridiculous.

It's really rare that DCUM agrees on anything, let alone when that means taking the IL's side on something. That should open your eyes to how off your thinking is.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:16     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
You are the problem here, not your in laws.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:14     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:OP here - but it's her first and probably only birthday where our family will come together. Sure she won't remember it but she'll have photos of everyone celebrating her except her grandparents.


You are making a much bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. My parents did not have a first bday party for me. I am not scarred. I have pics of a second birthday party where I am with my aunt. There are no other pics of any other family members (it's the only surviving picture from 4 moves). Again, NBD. Unless you harp on it your child's entire life (which it seems you may be predisposed to doing).
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:11     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
You're being really petty, op. Moving is very stressful. Also, they called your husband to say they weren't coming - I don't know why you'd expect them to call you as well. You're setting yourself up to be pissy for no good reason.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:10     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
OP stop being a cry baby and get over it. Life happens. Obviously you have a problem with your ILs and you are using this to fuel the fire in your head. Stop it. Don't use this incident to start building a wall with your DH's parents. It won't end well.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 09:05     Subject: In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
Anonymous wrote:OP here - but it's her first and probably only birthday where our family will come together. Sure she won't remember it but she'll have photos of everyone celebrating her except her grandparents.


Ah yes, those much cherished pictures of my first birthday party. C'mon, OP. You know that your kid won't care.