Watch your child closely. And let it go when it comes to her being fussy about her new house. You know how people can be about a new house or car. Any little smudge freaks them out. It's human, indulge it. Toddlers are little mess machines. That's also human. Watch it if it's your toddler, especially at someone's shiny new house.

And don't find reasons to get offended or upset about such minor stuff.

Why weren't you near your kid while he was eating? You should be right by him and able to see if he was dripping water on the walls.

Time to go home.

So your DS was only drinking water? Why would she say watch him when he eats? Because he was also eating something? It is clear your DS sprayed water all over her walls and was eating and she had to call you over? Where were you? The reason she whispered is that she was trying to see if brother was on the same page. She is not a baby sitter. Must've been the last straw of you leaving your kid to her to watch.

Stop cleaning up her house and focus on cleaning up after your kid. That's obviously what SIL values more, and there's no reason for you to be doing extra work as a guest in a home with two other able-bodied adults.

Make it practice not to stay in anyone with a new home for about 3-5 years. They are nuts.

You should watch your kid better, you sound lazy. You are not a gracious guest and this must have been the last straw hence she told you. Who knows how many stains she cleaned by then that your kid made.

I'd let it go but they sound like that "can't see the forest for the trees" type typical of those with a) a new home, b) no kids yet or worse. C) both.

DH should have addressed it with you. And why isn't he watching his kid?

Anonymous wrote:You might not be lazy but your child is making a mess. She's trying to get you to clean up after him. When you're staying with them, you have to conform to their levels of clean.

+1

From the sound of your post you were not there with your child.

Family is crazy... just ignore it, she won't change you can only change your reaction.

My brother did the same. As he told me that I needed to watch my kid closer, I brought up a FB picture of his son (5 years earlier) standing on the counter with the caption "helping himself to a snack" and said, you mean like this.

His wife laughed.

There may have been other "incidents" that she just let go, and this was the last straw. Hosting is a lot of work, and is stressful. She didn't scream at you, her request is reasonable. Watch your kid closely, thank her for hosting, and decide whether you can do this again without DH, or if a hotel is a better option.

There's got to be more to the story - unless you're a troll.

Why didn't your brother say something to you? How could you not have seen the mess on the wall when you cleaned up your DS's meal? My initial thought it that you aren't mindful of how messy your DS is and should do a better job.

Whether or not OP has a responsibility to watch her son more closely, there's no point in a hostess doing this mid visit. After the child leaves you get out the Magic Eraser and whatever else you need. Mid visit is not the time to agonize.

She might have been afraid that pasta was going to be. Etc on the walls. Don't be hurt and don't take it personally. New house means they are extra cautious.

Anonymous wrote:NP here.


Yeah, you should watch him but she should also chill the hell out. It's water, not juice or pasta. Water. As long as you are trying your best to be a gracious guest, she can also attempt to be a gracious host. The whole whispering and making a big to do to tell you that, is honestly obnoxious.

This. I would move to a hotel. There is no way I would deal with her throwing a fit about water drips. Even if it was spaghetti, you don't say a thing to guest or family.