Anonymous
11/28/2016 08:06
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Well, you didn't state originally that Mary was left money. I think it is totally fine for Larla to move into HER house and have Mary rent a place with HER money.
Likely Larla might ought to get roommates to help with expenses but ten to one Mary would never get around to paying her so I would be reluctant to anticipate Mary would actually pay rent. that solution seems to be to be a nonstarter.
If Thelma had wanted Mary to have the eternal right to live in the house she would have put it in the will.
Likely Larla might ought to get roommates to help with expenses but ten to one Mary would never get around to paying her so I would be reluctant to anticipate Mary would actually pay rent. that solution seems to be to be a nonstarter.
If Thelma had wanted Mary to have the eternal right to live in the house she would have put it in the will.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 07:15
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Can Larla afford to live in the inherited house, paying all the property taxes, utilities and maintenance? If she can't, she will need to find rent-paying roommates (and Mary could be one) or sell the house. I think selling may be the best option regardless.
But she should see a lawyer before she does anything. And so should Mary, to understand her rights as well, unless she is already making plans to leave.
Yep. Houses are expensive. If Larla can't afford a dorm room or a studio apartment now, she likely can't afford to maintain a house.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 07:09
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Op here.
Okay, so Mary had left the house several times to start her life as an adult, but she always found her way back home. For example, she got a degree but realized she couldn't get a great job in that field. Then she went back to school (stayed with Thelma while in school) and moved away for a time because she was planning to marry a man she met a few states away. Then that fell through, Mary went back to school and got a second degree and soon realized that she didn't really like the working world. So she left the home again in order to pursue the career she wanted but it had a better market in another state. She eventually came back home and has been working as a waitress.
Larla is on her 3rd year of college. She lives with her parents as her mother was sick while she was away at school so she transferred to a local college to finish her degree. Since she returned home, her mom's coworker and child had to come live with them as well. Also a cousin of Larla's dad is staying with them as well until he gets on his feet after immigrating here.
Larla and Mary have talked. The funeral was 5 mos ago. Larla just brought up the possibility of moving to Mary this week. Larla and Mary do not get along very well and they don't really want to live together. Part of it is just difference of opinions and part is due to the age gap (Larla is in her 20s, Mary is 50s).
In the same way that it would be "shitty" for Larla to flat out kick Mary out, wouldn't it be equally as bad for her to instead charge her rent??
Of course the family has gotten wind of the situation and they feel like 1 of 4 things should happen.
1. Both women stay in their current living situations.
2. Same as 1, but Larla moves into the house once Mary decides to leave again (as she potentially may do).
3. Larla either deal with living with Mary, or kick her out/buy her out.
4. Larla sells the house out from under Mary.
No, Thelma was not incapacitated at her death. She drew up the will 5 yrs ago and did not have any medical conditions limiting her capacity. She died at 82 and was able to drive and maintain an active lifestyle (physically and socially) until her death. Thelma has always supported both of her children monetarily when they needed it and she always seems happy to be float Mary for as long as she did. She made sure that Mary got an allowance monthly for living expenses like car, clothing, and social expenses. Mary won't get the allowance anymore but now Thelma has left money to her.
And no this isn't homework, I am purposely being ambiguous with my position in relation to the family members so that I don't get biased advice.
I'm the one who suggested charging rent. I grew up lower income and it sounds like these folks might struggle for sufficient cash too. In my world charging rent makes sense because nobody is independently wealthy enough to live without paying for the roof over their heads. Has Mary been living rent free the entire time with Thelma? Does she have mental health issues? If we are all able bodied and able minded, we should all be contributing to our living expenses.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 04:58
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
There are a lot of individual state laws that could end up applying here, related both to Mary's current occupancy of the house, and the inequity of the inheritance.
Is Mary currently working? Did she inherit enough money to buy the house from Larla? Can Larla afford property taxes and maintenance on the house?
Is Mary currently working? Did she inherit enough money to buy the house from Larla? Can Larla afford property taxes and maintenance on the house?
Anonymous
11/28/2016 04:47
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Can Larla afford to live in the inherited house, paying all the property taxes, utilities and maintenance? If she can't, she will need to find rent-paying roommates (and Mary could be one) or sell the house. I think selling may be the best option regardless.
But she should see a lawyer before she does anything. And so should Mary, to understand her rights as well, unless she is already making plans to leave.
But she should see a lawyer before she does anything. And so should Mary, to understand her rights as well, unless she is already making plans to leave.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 04:28
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's Larla's house, not Mary's, and Larla should feel free to do what she wants with it. I think it's selfish for Mary to expect to continue staying there, rent free. That's not how life works. Maybe I know too many Mary-types, but I don't have a lot of sympathy.
The update reinforces my feelings.
The update reinforces my feelings.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 01:52
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Op here.
Okay, so Mary had left the house several times to start her life as an adult, but she always found her way back home. For example, she got a degree but realized she couldn't get a great job in that field. Then she went back to school (stayed with Thelma while in school) and moved away for a time because she was planning to marry a man she met a few states away. Then that fell through, Mary went back to school and got a second degree and soon realized that she didn't really like the working world. So she left the home again in order to pursue the career she wanted but it had a better market in another state. She eventually came back home and has been working as a waitress.
Larla is on her 3rd year of college. She lives with her parents as her mother was sick while she was away at school so she transferred to a local college to finish her degree. Since she returned home, her mom's coworker and child had to come live with them as well. Also a cousin of Larla's dad is staying with them as well until he gets on his feet after immigrating here.
Larla and Mary have talked. The funeral was 5 mos ago. Larla just brought up the possibility of moving to Mary this week. Larla and Mary do not get along very well and they don't really want to live together. Part of it is just difference of opinions and part is due to the age gap (Larla is in her 20s, Mary is 50s).
In the same way that it would be "shitty" for Larla to flat out kick Mary out, wouldn't it be equally as bad for her to instead charge her rent??
Of course the family has gotten wind of the situation and they feel like 1 of 4 things should happen.
1. Both women stay in their current living situations.
2. Same as 1, but Larla moves into the house once Mary decides to leave again (as she potentially may do).
3. Larla either deal with living with Mary, or kick her out/buy her out.
4. Larla sells the house out from under Mary.
No, Thelma was not incapacitated at her death. She drew up the will 5 yrs ago and did not have any medical conditions limiting her capacity. She died at 82 and was able to drive and maintain an active lifestyle (physically and socially) until her death. Thelma has always supported both of her children monetarily when they needed it and she always seems happy to be float Mary for as long as she did. She made sure that Mary got an allowance monthly for living expenses like car, clothing, and social expenses. Mary won't get the allowance anymore but now Thelma has left money to her.
And no this isn't homework, I am purposely being ambiguous with my position in relation to the family members so that I don't get biased advice.
Okay, so Mary had left the house several times to start her life as an adult, but she always found her way back home. For example, she got a degree but realized she couldn't get a great job in that field. Then she went back to school (stayed with Thelma while in school) and moved away for a time because she was planning to marry a man she met a few states away. Then that fell through, Mary went back to school and got a second degree and soon realized that she didn't really like the working world. So she left the home again in order to pursue the career she wanted but it had a better market in another state. She eventually came back home and has been working as a waitress.
Larla is on her 3rd year of college. She lives with her parents as her mother was sick while she was away at school so she transferred to a local college to finish her degree. Since she returned home, her mom's coworker and child had to come live with them as well. Also a cousin of Larla's dad is staying with them as well until he gets on his feet after immigrating here.
Larla and Mary have talked. The funeral was 5 mos ago. Larla just brought up the possibility of moving to Mary this week. Larla and Mary do not get along very well and they don't really want to live together. Part of it is just difference of opinions and part is due to the age gap (Larla is in her 20s, Mary is 50s).
In the same way that it would be "shitty" for Larla to flat out kick Mary out, wouldn't it be equally as bad for her to instead charge her rent??
Of course the family has gotten wind of the situation and they feel like 1 of 4 things should happen.
1. Both women stay in their current living situations.
2. Same as 1, but Larla moves into the house once Mary decides to leave again (as she potentially may do).
3. Larla either deal with living with Mary, or kick her out/buy her out.
4. Larla sells the house out from under Mary.
No, Thelma was not incapacitated at her death. She drew up the will 5 yrs ago and did not have any medical conditions limiting her capacity. She died at 82 and was able to drive and maintain an active lifestyle (physically and socially) until her death. Thelma has always supported both of her children monetarily when they needed it and she always seems happy to be float Mary for as long as she did. She made sure that Mary got an allowance monthly for living expenses like car, clothing, and social expenses. Mary won't get the allowance anymore but now Thelma has left money to her.
And no this isn't homework, I am purposely being ambiguous with my position in relation to the family members so that I don't get biased advice.
Anonymous
11/27/2016 22:02
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Without knowing the back story on Mary and Thelma it's impossible to make a proper decision. While yes, barring any info not given, Larla has the legal right to take occupancy, that doesn't make it the easiest or best solution. Not knowing Mary's story makes it even harder. Need more info OP.
Long story short though - Thelma messed this up big time by not revealing her intent they could make plans.
Long story short though - Thelma messed this up big time by not revealing her intent they could make plans.
Anonymous
11/27/2016 20:14
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
It's not hard to manipulate an elderly person suffering from alzheimer's or dementia. And proving that's what happened in a court of law can be challenging. Voice of experience here.
Anonymous
11/27/2016 19:53
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Why did Thelma screw over her own daughter like that?
Anonymous
11/27/2016 19:49
Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Larla certainly has the right to put Mary out of the house; it's her house.
How I feel about the situation depends on what Mary is like. Is she financially irresponsible (drugs, alcohol, or whatever)?
How I feel about the situation depends on what Mary is like. Is she financially irresponsible (drugs, alcohol, or whatever)?
Anonymous
11/27/2016 19:43
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Is OP possibly a law student hoping we'll all help her/him with tonight's homework?
This. The moral answer and legal answer are not the same.
Anonymous
11/27/2016 19:25
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
sounds like the house is big enough for the both of them.
you folks need lawyers.
you folks need lawyers.
Anonymous
11/27/2016 19:22
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Larla is a first class bitch. I'll bet Thelma had dementia and Larla quietly had her draw up the will leaving her the house. Makes zero sense that Thelma would leave Larla the house. I smell a rat.
I'm 50 and watching my mom's generation do a lot of freaky things in their wills. They "do" leave out kids for various reasons. I'm not saying they are good reasons. Most of the time they seem cruel to me. Like not wanting the sons in laws to get the money or something similar.
Perhaps Mary has drug or alcohol issues, or has never worked, and Thelma somehow thought this would light a fire under her butt to get out and work? Not saying it's right, and it is very passive aggressive, but her thought process could be something like that.
In any event, OP, what matters now is Larla's character. What "she" does with the situation. She should try to take the higher road, here.
Anonymous
11/27/2016 18:19
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Larla is a first class bitch. I'll bet Thelma had dementia and Larla quietly had her draw up the will leaving her the house. Makes zero sense that Thelma would leave Larla the house. I smell a rat.