Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you?? Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered.
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"

So, why didn't you just ask him to help you lift?

He was standing two feet from me watching me.

Just because his eyes are facing your general direction you doesn't mean he is paying attention.

Next time, just ask for help. Don't expect people to preemptively react to your every need without being asked.

NP here, his isn't a mind reading exercise. They are both purchasing these items, there's no good reason they wouldn't both be putting things on the conveyor belt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you?? Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered.
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"

So, why didn't you just ask him to help you lift?

He was standing two feet from me watching me.

Just because his eyes are facing your general direction you doesn't mean he is paying attention.

Next time, just ask for help. Don't expect people to preemptively react to your every need without being asked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you?? Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered.
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"

So, why didn't you just ask him to help you lift?

He was standing two feet from me watching me.

Just because his eyes are facing your general direction you doesn't mean he is paying attention.

Next time, just ask for help. Don't expect people to preemptively react to your every need without being asked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you?? Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered.
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"

So, why didn't you just ask him to help you lift?

He was standing two feet from me watching me.

Anonymous wrote:PP, I've done that. We've had friends show up to a messy house and no food when he invited them to a cookout without doing any planning or prep. I left beforehand and he shrugged and told them he couldn't do it when they arrived and sent them home. They probably blamed me. I had to cancel travel to visit people because he didn't follow through on his share of the prep for a trip and I literally didn't have enough time to complete laundry, get dog to sitter etc. He wasn't embarassed or even vaguely motivated by those situations. Our toddler has had multiple meals per day of milk and nothing else when he'd promised it was his turn to meal plan and shop. I stopped doing laundry and he wore dirty clothes and tshirts to a business casual office until I realized our dual income was at stake. He's willing to make our life as bleak, lonely, and disorganized as possible before exerting any effort of his own. He is perfectly competent at work and was very successful in areas of personal interest/ambition before we met (elite postcollegiate athlete, multiple grad degrees).

He makes me feel like neither I nor my daughter are worth the kind of effort he exerted for his own personal gain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you?? Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered.
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"

So, why didn't you just ask him to help you lift?

Anonymous wrote:Np here. Today we were purchasing some home renovation materials, boxes of heavy tiles, a heavy cement board (weighs a ton) were sitting in the cart. My husband went to get one last thing while we pulled the cart into the line. I had to count some of the specialty tiles bc they were btmy the piece, and that took a while. Meanwhile, he came back with an armful of stuff just after the lady had begun checking us out and proceeded to revert mentally to his home in space... i struggled to lift these board and the 50 lb boxes out of the cart, and then looked at his and was like- "Why am I doing this?" ***Literal response: (whining, annoyed) "Why can you just tell me you need me to help?!" I looked at disbelief.."You think I should just lift all of this stuff on my own, or that I should have to tell you to help?? You dont see me struggling, you don't even bother to add 1 +1 knowing we are inline and need to check out.... I need to "tell" you?? Its so pathetic. Buying the rest of the tile online and having it delivered.
third one, was like, "hello?? Why am I doing this?"

Anonymous wrote:O M G

This is straight up neglect selfish self centered people.

I would divorce.

Anonymous wrote:PP, I've done that. We've had friends show up to a messy house and no food when he invited them to a cookout without doing any planning or prep. I left beforehand and he shrugged and told them he couldn't do it when they arrived and sent them home. They probably blamed me. I had to cancel travel to visit people because he didn't follow through on his share of the prep for a trip and I literally didn't have enough time to complete laundry, get dog to sitter etc. He wasn't embarassed or even vaguely motivated by those situations. Our toddler has had multiple meals per day of milk and nothing else when he'd promised it was his turn to meal plan and shop. I stopped doing laundry and he wore dirty clothes and tshirts to a business casual office until I realized our dual income was at stake. He's willing to make our life as bleak, lonely, and disorganized as possible before exerting any effort of his own. He is perfectly competent at work and was very successful in areas of personal interest/ambition before we met (elite postcollegiate athlete, multiple grad degrees).

He makes me feel like neither I nor my daughter are worth the kind of effort he exerted for his own personal gain.

Anonymous wrote:PP, I've done that. We've had friends show up to a messy house and no food when he invited them to a cookout without doing any planning or prep. I left beforehand and he shrugged and told them he couldn't do it when they arrived and sent them home. They probably blamed me. I had to cancel travel to visit people because he didn't follow through on his share of the prep for a trip and I literally didn't have enough time to complete laundry, get dog to sitter etc. He wasn't embarassed or even vaguely motivated by those situations. Our toddler has had multiple meals per day of milk and nothing else when he'd promised it was his turn to meal plan and shop. I stopped doing laundry and he wore dirty clothes and tshirts to a business casual office until I realized our dual income was at stake. He's willing to make our life as bleak, lonely, and disorganized as possible before exerting any effort of his own. He is perfectly competent at work and was very successful in areas of personal interest/ambition before we met (elite postcollegiate athlete, multiple grad degrees).

He makes me feel like neither I nor my daughter are worth the kind of effort he exerted for his own personal gain.