Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:53     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
In case I didn't mention it, we are all on a cleanse in honor of the Supermoon, so I'm only serving a thin vegetarian broth for dinner. Also, please arrive by 3pm because we want to hike up the mountain before sunset. Do you have something made of hemp that you can wear for the throat-singing ceremony?
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:33     Subject: Re:Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:I already screwed myself when I said "Sure", so I'm just venting.

No reason you couldn't pull him aside and say, "Roger, are you serious about wanting to come for Thanksgiving? Because you're going to have to check the [racist jokes, stories about your drunken misbehavior, constant interrupting, long monologues, whatever it is that he does] at the door. You should bring an apple pie and you're going to meet my aunt Betty and my friends Joe and Susan. They're nice people and I would need you to try to get along with them. Are you still up for it?"
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:32     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
I feel for you, I really do. I'm an introvert and don't like spending my social energy on people I don't like. But once you said "sure," you took on the obligation of being a gracious host. That means you now need to follow up with him, tell him your address, what time, what to bring, and make him feel sincerely welcome.

Think about it from his point of view and you will realize what a big mitzvah you are doing.

If you want to be sure you still have time with just your family, you can have them come over earlier and then have him come right before the meal is served.

You will feel good about yourself when you go to bed next Thursday.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:30     Subject: Re:Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:OP here -
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
"Dinner at home, family and friends coming over"
"I don't have any plans, can I come over?"
"...Sure, I don't have a lot of room.."
"I wonder what I should bring over"
Topic changes

I work with this person, so we know a lot about each other, but do not have a relationship outside of work. I truly do feel bad if he has nobody to spend it with, because that's sad. But his personality is not what I consider enjoyable and to be honest I rather spend it with people I know really well. He does not know where I live but again, we see each other every day he would just ask when the date is closer. If I was in his same situation I would not ask myself to people's homes and just do the sad face and hope for an invitation. However, he's suggested outside work events before, but it never comes close to fruition so I hope this will end up the same way.

I already screwed myself when I said "Sure", so I'm just venting.


Even OP knows that she needs to roll with it. Especially because they see each other everyday! She can't be the one that he begins to hate because she wouldn't let him come eat turkey off of her plates. It's one damn meal people!!
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:29     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now that you said yes, you need to get out of it.

"Roger, when we were speaking last week I'm not sure if you were kidding or not about Thanksgiving! However, we're all full up this year and my apartment is tiny."


Really, PP? This is absolutely mean. OP, don't do this. Suck it up. Sure, he was a jerk to invite himself but you were the fool who said Sure.


No way- he cornered her and he's an asshole. Remove the threat of his presence.


So she should have looked right at him and said, "No, Roger, we don't have room this year. Maybe another time."

But she didn't. So she needs to roll with it. FFS, you people are mean bitches! Meaner than the bitch I thought I was!
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:27     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now that you said yes, you need to get out of it.

"Roger, when we were speaking last week I'm not sure if you were kidding or not about Thanksgiving! However, we're all full up this year and my apartment is tiny."


Really, PP? This is absolutely mean. OP, don't do this. Suck it up. Sure, he was a jerk to invite himself but you were the fool who said Sure.


No way- he cornered her and he's an asshole. Remove the threat of his presence.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:25     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:Now that you said yes, you need to get out of it.

"Roger, when we were speaking last week I'm not sure if you were kidding or not about Thanksgiving! However, we're all full up this year and my apartment is tiny."


Really, PP? This is absolutely mean. OP, don't do this. Suck it up. Sure, he was a jerk to invite himself but you were the fool who said Sure.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:24     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
I keep thinking about that grandma that invited a stranger to her house after accidentally messaging him and you are all cold hearted scrooges.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/grandma-accidentally-texts-random-teen-thanksgiving-plans-invites-him-anyway/
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:22     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Now that you said yes, you need to get out of it.

"Roger, when we were speaking last week I'm not sure if you were kidding or not about Thanksgiving! However, we're all full up this year and my apartment is tiny."
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:21     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:This is why I always lie when people at work ask my what I am doing for holidays. I am *always* going out of town. I once had a weird guy at work say - hey, can I housesit for you while you are gone? - to which I said, oh no, we are all set, but thanks for asking!

Ha!
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:20     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:This is why I always lie when people at work ask my what I am doing for holidays. I am *always* going out of town. I once had a weird guy at work say - hey, can I housesit for you while you are gone? - to which I said, oh no, we are all set, but thanks for asking!


Yep. Or if I insinuate I'm in town it comes with the insinuation that I am with the in laws so I have no power to have ANY of my friends or family over.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:19     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You know, he might just surprise you, OP. I would go ahead and suck it up. After all, you said, "Sure..." He must have some level of comfort with you in order to invite himself to YOUR family's gathering in the first place. Tell him to bring a pie from the grocery store or a bottle of wine. Prepare your family and tell them to remain polite. He just might be ok. Or you'll have a fabulous "awkward Thanksgiving" story to tell others for the rest of your life. Either way, you're in the spirit of the day by letting a lonely, weird guy hang out with you.

By the way, I'm a bitch too, so I probably wouldn't have said, "Sure..." but since you did, I think you gotta go with it.

I'd like to know how somebody would honestly respond "no" to somebody who you had no idea would ask to come over - like your supervisor. Go.


I don't have any plans, can I come over to your place?

Me: "Wow, that WOULD be fun, wouldn't it. Unfortunately, we are going to be at my grandmother's nursing home serving dinner to the other invalids there. I'd invite you but there was a security check done on all of us a month ago. I hope you find somewhere fun to go. Tell me all about it next week."
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:18     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
This is why I always lie when people at work ask my what I am doing for holidays. I am *always* going out of town. I once had a weird guy at work say - hey, can I housesit for you while you are gone? - to which I said, oh no, we are all set, but thanks for asking!
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:15     Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:You know, he might just surprise you, OP. I would go ahead and suck it up. After all, you said, "Sure..." He must have some level of comfort with you in order to invite himself to YOUR family's gathering in the first place. Tell him to bring a pie from the grocery store or a bottle of wine. Prepare your family and tell them to remain polite. He just might be ok. Or you'll have a fabulous "awkward Thanksgiving" story to tell others for the rest of your life. Either way, you're in the spirit of the day by letting a lonely, weird guy hang out with you.

By the way, I'm a bitch too, so I probably wouldn't have said, "Sure..." but since you did, I think you gotta go with it.

I'd like to know how somebody would honestly respond "no" to somebody who you had no idea would ask to come over - like your supervisor. Go.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2016 16:13     Subject: Re:Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:
can I come over?"
"...Sure,


Your fault

I'm going to start inviting myself to everything I can think of so I can catch people off guard. "Can I come to your Wedding", "Can I come over for Christmas", "Can I come to Easter dinner".