Anonymous wrote:I just don't have it in me. Call me weak but the ugliness of it gets me. I also don't want to get him in trouble. I am just sad.

I understand. I don't have it in me to fight with my parents or siblings. I was chosen by my parents to be the POA and executor since I am the peacemaker of the family. It's going to be difficult to keep our family together, especially with spouses getting involved. I dread it.

I just don't have it in me. Call me weak but the ugliness of it gets me. I also don't want to get him in trouble. I am just sad.

When my grandmother was in a facility that was far away from family, my sister and I knew that our mother (who had POA) was using our grandmother's funds to travel to visit her. I had no problem with it, my sister did. My relationship with my mother is unchanged over how she cared for her mother since I think she did the best she could and made good decisions. My sister's relationship with my mother was harmed by the whole thing - for a number of reasons.

I get that this is very difficult and frustrating to you - both your mother's health and your lack of control of the situation, but dwelling on what your brother is or is not doing is not helping anyone. If you want to maintain any relationship with him, you need to step back and stop judging every decision that he makes. If you find yourself upset about how money is being spent, then remind yourself that as you said, you have no financial interest. Is it more important to you to know the details of your mother's medical state, or to be able to challenge your brother for making decisions that you don't agree with?