Answer it next time!

Is it my imagination or have there been a LOT of fishy phone threads lately?

I have one phone for everything. Why would you need a separate phone for internet? My husband also has one phone. If anyone needs him, they just call or text his personal phone. He's had the same number for more than 10 years. He also doesn't have a lock on his phone, and I don't have a lock on mine. I would be very suspicious if he suddenly came home with another phone and claimed that he needed it for "internet".

He's not just a liar. He's gas lighting you, which makes him an abuser as well.

I'm sorry, OP. You're not crazy.

Is he going deaf?

He's not only playing you he's gaslighting you. You KNOW what a phone ringing vibration sounds like but he's got you questioning whether you were mistaken TWICE.

OP, whether he has one phone or 10, it seems to me from the tone of your original post that you already feel suspicious on some other level, even before these phone incidents.

If you trusted him implicitly, why wouldn't you have just said something like, "Hey, I can hear YOUR phone over there on the desk buzzing away--can't you hear it? What the heck? I'm not crazy; it IS going off. Here...." And you would have - or I would have -- gone over and picked up the phone and handed it to him. That's what would happen if my husband's phone buzzed and I heard it and he didn't (which is entirely possible with us; he doesn't hear well and I usually can hear his phone vibrate when he cannot).

Is there some other reason you have suspicions? Beyond the fact he has two personal phones and doesn't pick up when they buzz and you are present?

It does sound as if -- unless he really is hard of hearing -- your husband did lie about whether he heard the phone buzz at the hotel, then dropped that story to say it was probably just a work e-mail (and not worth checking? Again, my husband would absolutely check if a work e-mail came in while we were on vacation because his work wouldn't e-mail him on vacation unless it was a real emergency. So....does your husband's work tend to e-mail for dumb stuff so he doesn't bother?).

But the real issue to me would be the fact you can't just ask him directly, "Are you getting e-mail from work that you want to avoid? Is there something wrong at work? Or is something else happening that your phone goes off and you ignore it?"

Don't let him claim he hears nothing when you know you hear it. If it happens again, immediately pick up the phone and hand it to him with you standing there. See how he reacts.

As for four phones, two for work does not sound strange to me, depending on what he does. Two personal ones sounds weird to me but maybe he really does use the 7 for Internet.....though that sounds like a very expensive thing to do.

Is it possible that the one that was ringing in the hotel room is a new one from work so he's not yet used to how it alerts him to work e-mails, so he was honest when he said "it rang like that because I was getting an e-mail from work"? Still -- he claims he never heard the ring, which is odd unless he really does tune it out. Some people do. I spent the night on a camping trip with a friend who slept right through her still-switched-on iPhone dinging every time an e-mail came in overnight (advertising junk mails) and who can ignore dings and rings during the days as well -- she simply tunes it all out (and drives those around her nuts as we hear all that noise).

Still, if he keeps denying hearing things you are standing there hearing them in the same room, he's gaslighting you (denying things you know are true, to make you feel off kilter and crazy). But I would not assume that yet. I'd talk with him and say what you said here: You don't get how you can hear the phones and he cannot.

Do you have access to the phone bills?

Don't call him on it again, but pick up the phone when he's not around and do some sleuthing.

OP, you are a very gullible person. Of course he's lying.

Four phones is strange, but if one was used for questionable activity he would hide it, not keep it in plain sight.

OP do you have any other reason not to trust him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four phones is far from normal, especially two for personal. Two for work I might believe, happened to my dh once when he held down two different positions, but two for himself is not normal. Something is up.

When you get new email, it gives a single "buzz", like getting a text. A call is a continuous vibration.

This is what I am thinking. It's bullshit that he says it's emails when clearly it was a phone call.

You can set your phone to ring for emails. Seems silly, but it's possible. Look under settings on the phone.

Anonymous wrote:Four phones is far from normal, especially two for personal. Two for work I might believe, happened to my dh once when he held down two different positions, but two for himself is not normal. Something is up.

When you get new email, it gives a single "buzz", like getting a text. A call is a continuous vibration.

This is what I am thinking. It's bullshit that he says it's emails when clearly it was a phone call.

i doubt president obama has 4 phones. your dh shouldn't have 4 phones.

Four phones is far from normal, especially two for personal. Two for work I might believe, happened to my dh once when he held down two different positions, but two for himself is not normal. Something is up.

When you get new email, it gives a single "buzz", like getting a text. A call is a continuous vibration.