I only buy my nieces and nephews Christmas presents if/when we are spending Christmas with them. It seems to work well that way and no one feel pressured. When I was younger, I appreciated Christmas presents from the aunts and uncles a lot more when I was a college than a young child.

*i imagine not I gained.

Aged out with one uncle at 18. Aged out with other aunt/uncle when my husband and I had our first kid. The latter give to my kids now.

I will at least give to my nieces and nephews until they go to college. We will see after that, my BIL and SIL keep having kids and it is getting crazy expensive to give to all of them at this point, so I gained years from now it will be even more kids and more gifts...

Only had one Aunt, so we exchanged gifts until I was in my 30s and most of the adults stopped doing that.

We stopped giving most of our nieces and nephews gifts when they were around 21 or after they graduated from college. We now have great nieces and nephews on that side and give them gifts.

Our youngest nephew we have continued to send gifts for even though he is past 21--we are the only family he has left other than his parents, and he has no siblings or cousins. So we make exceptions.

We've never really exchanged gifts like that in my family. If we're closer to one sibling and their kids one year I'd buy something, but not for all. I'm single and childless and have 30 nieces and nephews (including great nieces and nephews.) it would get it of hand really fast...esp sinc emu family isn't close geographically or emotionally.

I have 2 kids and my brother has 3. My 2 kids are the oldest of the group. I initiated the stopping of gifts once a child has graduated from college. My sibs complied and now I have to follow thru. Out of my 3 nieces and nephews, only 1 has graduated. I think I will email a reminder note to my brother of the new rule.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh why is this so difficult for people? Why would you stop gifting just because someone is an adult? Does the holiday just end because you hit 18? The only thing you need to manage is their monetary expectation. So give them a $10, $20, $30 gift--whatever--and just maintain that status quo.

That's kind of silly. Why should my aunts, on limited retirement incomes, give me $20? At some point there needs to be a generational shift.

We stopped at around 17/18. We stopped with the great nieces/nephews when it got to the point that we really didn't know them (they live far away), and never got a thank you note. It seemed kind of unnecessary after a while. Still give gifts to one set of great nieces who we do see periodically.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh why is this so difficult for people? Why would you stop gifting just because someone is an adult? Does the holiday just end because you hit 18? The only thing you need to manage is their monetary expectation. So give them a $10, $20, $30 gift--whatever--and just maintain that status quo.

The reason is because many people only buy gifts for the children in the family. If people had to buy for adult siblings, cousins, uncles/aunts, nieces/nephews, etc, then it gets exorbitant!

Christmas isn't about presents. Who cares about presents. If they're upset that they didn't get a present it's a good opportunity for them to learn the real meaning behind Christmas.

My family assigns each person from my parents' generation a kid to buy for at Christmas and birthdays. You age out after four years of college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a separate note...are you ok with getting your younger nieces/nephews presents while the older ones sit there giftless?

Absolutely.

Are you ok with older kids doing chores and having responsibilities, while the younger kids don't do much?

Things change according to age - what a bizarre perspective to have, pp. So if a niece is 18, and another niece is 2, are you going to give the first niece x-mas gifts when they're 34, and the other one is 18? Does it ever stop?

PP here. I wasn't clear. I meant what I said if the setting was a family event where everyone brought presents. I was simply saying maybe in that case the older nieces/nephews would feel left out.

This is ridiculous. They're older - they probably got spoiled more than then younger cousins (who probably received more hand me down things).

They're allowed to feel however they feel. They're certainly old enough to deal with those feelings and get over it but still there may be hurt feelings and OP may have to deal with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a separate note...are you ok with getting your younger nieces/nephews presents while the older ones sit there giftless?

Absolutely.

Are you ok with older kids doing chores and having responsibilities, while the younger kids don't do much?

Things change according to age - what a bizarre perspective to have, pp. So if a niece is 18, and another niece is 2, are you going to give the first niece x-mas gifts when they're 34, and the other one is 18? Does it ever stop?

PP here. I wasn't clear. I meant what I said if the setting was a family event where everyone brought presents. I was simply saying maybe in that case the older nieces/nephews would feel left out.

This is ridiculous. They're older - they probably got spoiled more than then younger cousins (who probably received more hand me down things).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a separate note...are you ok with getting your younger nieces/nephews presents while the older ones sit there giftless?

Absolutely.

Are you ok with older kids doing chores and having responsibilities, while the younger kids don't do much?

Things change according to age - what a bizarre perspective to have, pp. So if a niece is 18, and another niece is 2, are you going to give the first niece x-mas gifts when they're 34, and the other one is 18? Does it ever stop?

PP here. I wasn't clear. I meant what I said if the setting was a family event where everyone brought presents. I was simply saying maybe in that case the older nieces/nephews would feel left out.

Anonymous wrote:On a separate note...are you ok with getting your younger nieces/nephews presents while the older ones sit there giftless?

Absolutely.

Are you ok with older kids doing chores and having responsibilities, while the younger kids don't do much?

Things change according to age - what a bizarre perspective to have, pp. So if a niece is 18, and another niece is 2, are you going to give the first niece x-mas gifts when they're 34, and the other one is 18? Does it ever stop?