Nothing wrong with Porn. MY Wife thinks is bad but I dont

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, you need to let this go. The risks are low, except that if you confront him to could do serious damage to your relationship. Talking about the type of porn will not help AT ALL.

100% agree. It's likely nothing to worry about and your son will feel humiliated and probably shut you out from this. Let it go.

^^^ PP has best reply so far.

I will be the lone dissenter. Boy is 14 which means a minor. Mom should know what he is doing and that does not make her a helicopter mom. That makes her a good parent.

OP - I have a very open relationship with my son and this is something we would discuss. Not the specifics, you don't need to see what he was looking at. But you should have the conversation with him about what porn is, why people view it, when it becomes unhealthy. You don't need to make him feel bad about it at all. But it should be an open conversation.

I don't understand how this is any different than discussing sex, masturbation, etc. All these things should be discussed openly. Good grief, this is why people feel the need to hide everything - they don't grow up realizing it is normal and ok to talk about it.

maybe he was just going to normal websites and the cookies prompts can be annoying. So he just deletes them. maybe reading too much into it.

As others have said, you need to let this go. The risks are low, except that if you confront him to could do serious damage to your relationship. Talking about the type of porn will not help AT ALL.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I'm not a helicopter mom.
I did have a talk with him a few months ago about porn/sex trafficking, etc.
I'm just a little worried.

Yes you are. Your son deserves privacy unless he has done something heinous to forfeit it.

OP, although it is likely that he was looking at porn, I delete my history all the time just so that it doesn't get read through since it makes me uncomfortable. While it is POSSIBLE, you shouldn't assume he was looking at porn without proof. If he was, you'll notice that when he's using the computer he does specific things after it (to clean it up)

I'm not promoting this, but this is an option, since you are worried about porn. how about set up his mac-book so he is a user on the computer and you are the administrator, and put in place parental blocks on safari or whatever browser he is using.

if you set it properly he won't be able to change the settings.

The other option. Tell him you noticed that browser history has been deleted on your routine checks, tell him that deleting the browser history is grounds for loosing privileges.

Back in my day, We were stuck with having to buy a magazine and keep it hidden from mom and dad or fantasize, or watch cinemax late at nite with the volume down hoping to see a boobie....

No, I just can't stand it when people present something as fact when it is simply their idea or belief.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
He is 14.
Yes, I'm pretty sure it was porn.
I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything too disturbing.
The father is not in the picture and my son doesn't really have any male role models in his life.

Porn will adversely affect his future relationships with women. Best to have a talk with him soonest.

Um, you have data to back that ignorant statement up?

Sounds like you're trying to justify your viewing of porn.

I delete my history all the time to read news articles without subscribing. But, if it is porn, do him a favor a wean him now. I know someone who is pretty upset about a recent breakup caused by the male's inability to perform. Turns out his porn addiction is the culprit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
He is 14.
Yes, I'm pretty sure it was porn.
I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything too disturbing.
The father is not in the picture and my son doesn't really have any male role models in his life.

Porn will adversely affect his future relationships with women. Best to have a talk with him soonest.

Um, you have data to back that ignorant statement up?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
He is 14.
Yes, I'm pretty sure it was porn.
I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything too disturbing.
The father is not in the picture and my son doesn't really have any male role models in his life.

Porn will adversely affect his future relationships with women. Best to have a talk with him soonest.

Um no, this almost never happens.

OP, I would not try to look at what he saw.
Just assume it was porn, assume it's not the end of the world, but absolutely keep having talks with him throughout his teens about treating women well, respecting them, no means no, etc.

If you do that, it will be ok.
Kids need a certain amount of privacy. Internet porn can be disgusting though and really send the wrong messages about sexuality, women as objects of desire etc.

I'd rather kids have playboy subscriptions (is that still around?! than Internet porn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
He is 14.
Yes, I'm pretty sure it was porn.
I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything too disturbing.
The father is not in the picture and my son doesn't really have any male role models in his life.

Porn will adversely affect his future relationships with women. Best to have a talk with him soonest.

Um no, this almost never happens.