Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated by the discussion because I have always found such events tedious, both attending and putting them on. I wish I didn't. I just don't feel competent at it.

What activities do you do with your friends?

Anonymous wrote:We tend to have us plus 2-3 other couples because we have room for 8 at our dining table. We usually invite families with kids. The parents talk, drink and have appetizers while the kids run around, then we feed the kids in the kitchen and they go downstairs to a movie or up to the kids rooms, and then the parents sit down to eat. We usually all have dessert at the same time. It gets a little crazy with all the kids but our kids are older and don't need as much supervision as they used to need. Its important to have kids that match up well for this to work though. You don't want a left-out kid.

We do this too. Sometimes I break out Beanboozled as a game for the kids and adults. Then we send them to the basement for a movie and the after dinner drinking begins.

We tend to have us plus 2-3 other couples because we have room for 8 at our dining table. We usually invite families with kids. The parents talk, drink and have appetizers while the kids run around, then we feed the kids in the kitchen and they go downstairs to a movie or up to the kids rooms, and then the parents sit down to eat. We usually all have dessert at the same time. It gets a little crazy with all the kids but our kids are older and don't need as much supervision as they used to need. Its important to have kids that match up well for this to work though. You don't want a left-out kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Involving the kids can help. Depending on ages but having them around or setting up something fun that the adults can watch or 'attend' is fun. My kids set up a fair during a dinner party once. They sold tickets to the adults and guided us through the activities. Give them a fun scavenger hunt that gets them interacting with the other kids and adult guests.

This sounds awful to me, being forced to do this during a dinner party. If I'm going to a dinner party with adult friends, i don't want to interact with the kids or entertain them. Mine or theirs.

Totally agree. I also don't want your 7 year old sitting at the table with us. Either it's an adult event or it isn't.

Simple kids their pizza nite in another room while the adults are having apps and cocktails. movies or games for the kids when the adults sit down for dinner. its not rocket science.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Play games? Omg no.

We play games. Cards. Cards against humanities. Dominos. Whatever. Drinking talking gaming. Fun!

Yup! Love playing spades. Nothing better than a night of wine and spades. Have carried on until 2 am before.

Luckily, we have a group of friends that we meet nearly weekly at each others homes and have drinks and play games whilen the kids raise hell in the basement. Its so much fun!

Oh and NEVER monopoly or trivial pursuit. Both are painfully boring. I just cringe when my kids ask to play monoply.

Anonymous wrote:I have a related question on these dinner parties. Most of the people we would invite are couples with kids but like a PP said we weren't thinking to invite kids but try to have an adult evening. What about our own kids? What does everyone do with their kids when they host these parties!

Diner party starts at kid bedtime or shortly after. For example, everyone has wine and appetizers at 7pm. Kid says goodnight at 7:30 and one parent puts them to bed. (Skip bath) Dinner starts at 8:00pm for all the adults downstairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Involving the kids can help. Depending on ages but having them around or setting up something fun that the adults can watch or 'attend' is fun. My kids set up a fair during a dinner party once. They sold tickets to the adults and guided us through the activities. Give them a fun scavenger hunt that gets them interacting with the other kids and adult guests.

This sounds awful to me, being forced to do this during a dinner party. If I'm going to a dinner party with adult friends, i don't want to interact with the kids or entertain them. Mine or theirs.

Agreed. This sounds about as fun as piling teeth, and it'll be the best way to make sure your friends are always sick/out of town/unavailable for future dinner party invites.

Anonymous wrote:Why does it have to be just couples? Why can't you invite a single dad or a single mom?

PP here who doesn't like parties. Maybe then it becomes just a party and not a dinner party Who knows.

I think there are some married couples who feel some strange need to have "couples" events.

Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated by the discussion because I have always found such events tedious, both attending and putting them on. I wish I didn't. I just don't feel competent at it.

+1 I don't like going to dinner parties. I'd rather just go out to dinner with other couples, so that we can all relax, eat what we want, and there's enough backround noise to make up for lulls in the conversation.

I always feel guilty going to dinner parties because of all of the work the host puts into it. It makes me feel guilty if I don't like the food (I never say I don't like it) or if I'm not in a gregarious mood.

I'm not a big fan of games either, especially if there are a bunch of rules that no one really knows except one person.

OP, does it have to be dinner parties? If you want to reestablish friendships with couples, why don't you start with just going out to dinner. And then once you feel like you have a better sense of what they like/don't like and you have a comfort level, then have a dinner party at your house. If you start with the dinner party at your house, people might feel stiff and uncomfortable because you haven't reached that level of friendship.

I have a related question on these dinner parties. Most of the people we would invite are couples with kids but like a PP said we weren't thinking to invite kids but try to have an adult evening. What about our own kids? What does everyone do with their kids when they host these parties!

Why does it have to be just couples? Why can't you invite a single dad or a single mom?

I am fascinated by the discussion because I have always found such events tedious, both attending and putting them on. I wish I didn't. I just don't feel competent at it.

OP, I am in introvert and my DH loves parties. We do a lot of dinner parties. Here are my tips:

You cook and have enough optional stuff to do, little things, to that if you don't feel like talking you can hide behind your pots.

Invite/make sure you'll have at least 3 couples in addition to you and your DH. 2 can work if you know several are extroverts. My goal is to invite enough people that the party is "self-sustaining" i.e. people can talk to each other and my DH, but my own additions are optional. Then if I am feeling quiet I can just be quiet without leaving the conversation dead.

We don't do games but I wouldn't object to something like Cards against Humanity, a captioning game I've played where you caption NYT cartoons (can't remember what that is called but it is fun), etc. Or even Risk if you are dorks and want to have an old-fashioned theme.

We TOTALLY play games. Cards Against Humanity is awesome (possibly not appropriate for work people).

We also once did a treasure hunt using tiny bottles of liquor all over our backyard.

Ask people what they've been up to. Be capable of explaining what your thesis was about in two sentences. Talk about tv shows. Talk about how this election has dvided the Republican party and how interesting that is. Talk about whether Kim Kardashian really was robbed. Talk about trips and vacations.

Anonymous wrote:

Involving the kids can help. Depending on ages but having them around or setting up something fun that the adults can watch or 'attend' is fun. My kids set up a fair during a dinner party once. They sold tickets to the adults and guided us through the activities. Give them a fun scavenger hunt that gets them interacting with the other kids and adult guests.

This sounds awful to me, being forced to do this during a dinner party. If I'm going to a dinner party with adult friends, i don't want to interact with the kids or entertain them. Mine or theirs.

Totally agree. I also don't want your 7 year old sitting at the table with us. Either it's an adult event or it isn't.