Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't take sides until I know how much support and help your wife gets. I had a single mom growing up and my dad would tell us all the right things on the phone, but he never had to actually deal with any of the issues we were going through. We saw him every other weekend and he would spoil us rotten, but then sent us back to reality with mom. My mom was a wonderful mother, but she did lose it at times. I do remember a couple bad fights where she told me that I should go and live with my father.

I will always love my father, but my mom was always there through the good and the bad. Now that I am an adult and I have a better idea of what she was dealing with, there is just no way I could hold anything against her. I feel like you are not telling us the whole story. Why was your wife able to get primary custody? In my mother's case my father was an alcoholic.

This. Times a million. OP ain't gonna tell us the full story, folks.

Anonymous wrote:I can't take sides until I know how much support and help your wife gets. I had a single mom growing up and my dad would tell us all the right things on the phone, but he never had to actually deal with any of the issues we were going through. We saw him every other weekend and he would spoil us rotten, but then sent us back to reality with mom. My mom was a wonderful mother, but she did lose it at times. I do remember a couple bad fights where she told me that I should go and live with my father.

I will always love my father, but my mom was always there through the good and the bad. Now that I am an adult and I have a better idea of what she was dealing with, there is just no way I could hold anything against her. I feel like you are not telling us the whole story. Why was your wife able to get primary custody? In my mother's case my father was an alcoholic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't take sides until I know how much support and help your wife gets. I had a single mom growing up and my dad would tell us all the right things on the phone, but he never had to actually deal with any of the issues we were going through. We saw him every other weekend and he would spoil us rotten, but then sent us back to reality with mom. My mom was a wonderful mother, but she did lose it at times. I do remember a couple bad fights where she told me that I should go and live with my father.

I will always love my father, but my mom was always there through the good and the bad. Now that I am an adult and I have a better idea of what she was dealing with, there is just no way I could hold anything against her. I feel like you are not telling us the whole story. Why was your wife able to get primary custody? In my mother's case my father was an alcoholic.

"You should go live with your father" is very different from "I'll make you go live with your father and you can never come back."

There's really no excuse for that kind of talk.

I just don't think we can say that the father should definitely get custody until we have the whole story. He is hearing these details from the kids not the mother. Why does the mother not want to talk to him? Why did the mother get primary custody in the first place? It's so easy for him to judge when he doesn't have to deal with the parenting. when he get to be the good guy. Many times during divorce if a child is upset with one parent they try to get support from the other parent. Many times through lying or not telling the whole truth to the other parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been divorced. Did you divorce after you had an affair? If so, is your affair partner living with you? I ask because these things may come into play in figuring out the best response.

Why is it always assumed dad had the affair. Mom could have had one.

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been divorced. Did you divorce after you had an affair? If so, is your affair partner living with you? I ask because these things may come into play in figuring out the best response.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you located close enough to your XW and the kids' school to take them sometimes during the school week? If you are, then offer to take one or both kids for a week at a time instead of a weekend and see if she just needs a break. Even if she only gets a break once or twice a year, it may reduce her stress enough that she can get back to an even keel when parenting. Sometimes we all just need a break.

I think this is absolute, utter bullshit. If the genders were reversed in this situation everyone would be screaming to high heaven that the husband is abusive. People would be crowing about getting the children out of this situation NOW. But because it's a woman (and I'm a woman by the way) people are like "oh she just needs a break." No. She is abusive and manipulative. She does not deserve custody. She doesn't deserve anything, in my opinion, acting and using the situation this way. I'm sorry I don't really have advice. I do think you should have custody but if you don't have the means to pursue it, I don't know what to tell you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you located close enough to your XW and the kids' school to take them sometimes during the school week? If you are, then offer to take one or both kids for a week at a time instead of a weekend and see if she just needs a break. Even if she only gets a break once or twice a year, it may reduce her stress enough that she can get back to an even keel when parenting. Sometimes we all just need a break.

I think this is absolute, utter bullshit. If the genders were reversed in this situation everyone would be screaming to high heaven that the husband is abusive. People would be crowing about getting the children out of this situation NOW. But because it's a woman (and I'm a woman by the way) people are like "oh she just needs a break." No. She is abusive and manipulative. She does not deserve custody. She doesn't deserve anything, in my opinion, acting and using the situation this way. I'm sorry I don't really have advice. I do think you should have custody but if you don't have the means to pursue it, I don't know what to tell you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't take sides until I know how much support and help your wife gets. I had a single mom growing up and my dad would tell us all the right things on the phone, but he never had to actually deal with any of the issues we were going through. We saw him every other weekend and he would spoil us rotten, but then sent us back to reality with mom. My mom was a wonderful mother, but she did lose it at times. I do remember a couple bad fights where she told me that I should go and live with my father.

I will always love my father, but my mom was always there through the good and the bad. Now that I am an adult and I have a better idea of what she was dealing with, there is just no way I could hold anything against her. I feel like you are not telling us the whole story. Why was your wife able to get primary custody? In my mother's case my father was an alcoholic.

"You should go live with your father" is very different from "I'll make you go live with your father and you can never come back."

There's really no excuse for that kind of talk.

Anonymous wrote:I can't take sides until I know how much support and help your wife gets. I had a single mom growing up and my dad would tell us all the right things on the phone, but he never had to actually deal with any of the issues we were going through. We saw him every other weekend and he would spoil us rotten, but then sent us back to reality with mom. My mom was a wonderful mother, but she did lose it at times. I do remember a couple bad fights where she told me that I should go and live with my father.

I will always love my father, but my mom was always there through the good and the bad. Now that I am an adult and I have a better idea of what she was dealing with, there is just no way I could hold anything against her. I feel like you are not telling us the whole story. Why was your wife able to get primary custody? In my mother's case my father was an alcoholic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you located close enough to your XW and the kids' school to take them sometimes during the school week? If you are, then offer to take one or both kids for a week at a time instead of a weekend and see if she just needs a break. Even if she only gets a break once or twice a year, it may reduce her stress enough that she can get back to an even keel when parenting. Sometimes we all just need a break.

I think this is absolute, utter bullshit. If the genders were reversed in this situation everyone would be screaming to high heaven that the husband is abusive. People would be crowing about getting the children out of this situation NOW. But because it's a woman (and I'm a woman by the way) people are like "oh she just needs a break." No. She is abusive and manipulative. She does not deserve custody. She doesn't deserve anything, in my opinion, acting and using the situation this way. I'm sorry I don't really have advice. I do think you should have custody but if you don't have the means to pursue it, I don't know what to tell you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you located close enough to your XW and the kids' school to take them sometimes during the school week? If you are, then offer to take one or both kids for a week at a time instead of a weekend and see if she just needs a break. Even if she only gets a break once or twice a year, it may reduce her stress enough that she can get back to an even keel when parenting. Sometimes we all just need a break.

I think this is absolute, utter bullshit. If the genders were reversed in this situation everyone would be screaming to high heaven that the husband is abusive. People would be crowing about getting the children out of this situation NOW. But because it's a woman (and I'm a woman by the way) people are like "oh she just needs a break." No. She is abusive and manipulative. She does not deserve custody. She doesn't deserve anything, in my opinion, acting and using the situation this way. I'm sorry I don't really have advice. I do think you should have custody but if you don't have the means to pursue it, I don't know what to tell you.

Anonymous wrote:Are you located close enough to your XW and the kids' school to take them sometimes during the school week? If you are, then offer to take one or both kids for a week at a time instead of a weekend and see if she just needs a break. Even if she only gets a break once or twice a year, it may reduce her stress enough that she can get back to an even keel when parenting. Sometimes we all just need a break.