Get off social media. Encourage your DD to as well -- there is nothing to be gained from this. Really -- so she doesn't get tagged and doesn't see the picture when she's not tagged. Now, she doesn't know she's "unpopular" in the imaginations of the "popular" girls. Its all so f'ed up and what a giant waste of time!

The tough thing about social media is it forces you to see when you have been excluded. When I was in HS/MS I got left out of things, but I didn't necessarily know about the cool party or hangout I missed unless someone told me. Now kids see all the pictures of the parties they weren't invited to. It's tough but I think the advice is basically the same as it would be in the absence of Instagram - try not to worry about what others are doing, focus on your relationships with your good friends, this too shall pass.

Anonymous wrote:Yup, its hard and it can hurt. Snapchat and Instagram are like the slam books we had back in the day. If you can get your DD off social media it truly helps.

slam books! 'Blast from the past

According to my kids, there is a max # of people you can tag in a photo - so depending on how many people are already tagged, the others might not have been intentionally left off, just ran out of tags.

Oh yes! One girl by DD follows recently posted a picture of herself and her dog and tagged all her "cool friends" She didn't say that of course. But I know this girl. She is absolutely focused on social climbing, talks about how has $$, and would readily tell you that mean girls are more popular. My DD recognizes it as obnoxious behavior and moves on so I don't need to get involved. I'm more worried about how the other girls life will unfold in HS. Should be interesting. . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe our child is just in a very cliquey class but this happens all the time.

So? Teach your kid to see this for the pointless posturing it is. Worth little more than an eye roll, if that. Teens who are able to (at least appear to) not care about this stuff benefit from being able to remain unaffected by social drama or leverage it to their benefit.

This. It's HARD, I get it, but the less they care about this stuff, the better off they are. We all went through it, but not as publicly. My older teen daughter really doesn't care all that much about being popular and I'm so thankful for that. She's on social media and talks about likes and followers and all of that, but she's not obsessed with it the way some teens are. My younger teen daughter is ALL about being popular, worrying what people are saying about her, or thinking, or what she's missing out on, what people are wearing, etc. It's draining and doesn't do anyone any good. I've tried to get her to stop caring a bit, but it's a challenge.

Anonymous wrote:It is indeed a very subtle form of mean girl behavior that can actually go over many adult's heads. Instagram is the perfect breeding ground for this type of behavior which is why my DD13 said, "instragram makes me feel bad and I'm taking it off my phone".
That was 4 months ago and I think she's much happier and we have less relationship dramatics and breakdowns going on. It's still happening she's just removed from it a layer. I'd say encourage your DD to notice how social media makes her feel and empower her to get off. Or set limits. I've learned from this and will not allow my younger DD to have social media until she is probably in high school.

You know, props to your daughter for recognizing this and then following through. Good job, mom/dad!

Yes, my DD just started using Instagram and I see this issue. It's hard to watch but the only choices are for your kid not to be bothered by it or just limit their use of social media.

This is no different then when I was in high school and people would get their feelings hurt if where there were placed in a friends "top 8"

And think about the girls who aren't there, op.