Anonymous wrote:For a child attending, a gift is fine, but if the whole family is invited, you really should give a check. multiples of $18 please. It's like a wedding.

This

For the person who mentioned that her daughter got a single pearl on a black rope chain, could you possibly tell me the brand? Sounds very pretty.

Anonymous wrote:Don't give actual physical gifts. Don't even bother with gift cards. Give cash or check. Speaking from experience, these kids are putting the money in the bank to save for something big or for college. I remember at my bat mitzvah the only gift I got was a special ring from an aunt and uncle. Absolutely everybody else gave cash or check, even friends.

I know everyone has there own thoughts..but this is terrible to me. Give the gift you want to give. S/he is not having a Bat Mitzvah to pay for college. If you want to give money fine. If you want to give something else that they can enjoy now at this special time that is fine too. I got many different kinds of gifts and all were lovely. Whether you give a $100 check or not will not affect the child's college fund.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give actual physical gifts. Don't even bother with gift cards. Give cash or check. Speaking from experience, these kids are putting the money in the bank to save for something big or for college. I remember at my bat mitzvah the only gift I got was a special ring from an aunt and uncle. Absolutely everybody else gave cash or check, even friends.

How much do people give? If the whole family attends, 180? But 54 if only your child?

Give multiples of $18. Whole family maybe $144 (maybe more depending on how close you are with the child). For just your kid, it depends on how close they are--best friends probably $54. Just a kid from the class then $36.

Our daughter became a Bat Mitzvah a month ago. She mostly got cash and checks, but some people did give gifts, and she loved what she got. The "in" jewelry in our wealthy town on the outskirts of a big city is the single pearl on the black thin rope. You will see this everywhere. She also got a couple of Alex and Ani charms bracelets, a few pieces of other jewelry,, and a few gift cards. But mostly it was cash and checks. For the PP who asked, the kids gave anywhere from 36 (kids in her class who are friends but not close) to 72 (close friends who came alone), and families/couples gave anywhere from 72 and up. Give only as much as you feel comfortable and able to give - do not think it has to be any certain amount and certainly, it has nothing to do with how much the family spends on the party (as people sometimes suggest here).

I agree with cash or check.

Anonymous wrote:I remember a friend gave me tickets to a ballet performance that came to our town. And my dad's cousin gave me a watch. Other ideas: a nice wallet, jewelry, judaica (does she have a set of candlesticks? a mezuzah for her bedroom door?), a cookbook of Jewish foods (or if you're close to her family, family recipes)

nobody wants these, give cash

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, we would give a piece of jewelry, like a cute pendant or a charm bracelet.

(A pen is also a "traditional" gift, but I wouldn't go there.)

Same here. In fact, I can still remember, the popular jewelry to give for a bat mitzvah gift was a colored freshwater pearl bracelet. I bet there is a popular jewlery choice today - maybe Alex + Ani? We always gave a savings bond to the boys!

Savings bonds? Are you 80?

Ha- I feel close to it some days but no I am in my late 40s . In the mid 80s you could buy one for $25 that would be worth $50 by the time the recipient was in college!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, we would give a piece of jewelry, like a cute pendant or a charm bracelet.

(A pen is also a "traditional" gift, but I wouldn't go there.)

Same here. In fact, I can still remember, the popular jewelry to give for a bat mitzvah gift was a colored freshwater pearl bracelet. I bet there is a popular jewlery choice today - maybe Alex + Ani? We always gave a savings bond to the boys!

Savings bonds? Are you 80?

Anonymous wrote:Don't give actual physical gifts. Don't even bother with gift cards. Give cash or check. Speaking from experience, these kids are putting the money in the bank to save for something big or for college. I remember at my bat mitzvah the only gift I got was a special ring from an aunt and uncle. Absolutely everybody else gave cash or check, even friends.

How much do people give? If the whole family attends, 180? But 54 if only your child?

Don't give actual physical gifts. Don't even bother with gift cards. Give cash or check. Speaking from experience, these kids are putting the money in the bank to save for something big or for college. I remember at my bat mitzvah the only gift I got was a special ring from an aunt and uncle. Absolutely everybody else gave cash or check, even friends.

The definition of a gift is giving them something they want not the thing you want to give them. Unless you really know this kid and know what they want, give them cash. No need to be different.

If its for friends of your child, then maybe give gift cards to starbucks, movies, etc. Kids love to get those and it's not like cash for their college fund.

Sweet Noshings cookbook
Hamsa necklace (etsy has some pretty ones)

I remember a friend gave me tickets to a ballet performance that came to our town. And my dad's cousin gave me a watch. Other ideas: a nice wallet, jewelry, judaica (does she have a set of candlesticks? a mezuzah for her bedroom door?), a cookbook of Jewish foods (or if you're close to her family, family recipes)