It is the generation of " I am responsible for nothing....even myself." And it's the parents who raise them that way. I have hardly met anyone under 45 these days that has truly matured, but maybe I just haven't got around enough.

As for xanax and a teen, terrible combo, both physically and psychologically. Slip her a placebo instead until you can get her to behaviour therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxiety and depression are absolutely hot excuses.

—tenured professor

It takes away from the validity of the many people that suffer from both. While I as in college mental illness was something that nobody ever talked about and I was ashamed, its at least good to know its more out in the open.

I have an adhd kid that may be heading down the road of mild depression as well.

Anyone can be diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression. Smart kids know this, which is why the elite college have 80% usage rates of Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). Smart kids know how to play all the angles.

Or maybe good colleges promote using CAPS for kids in need? Or maybe smart kids are smart enough to know that they need help?

And honestly, what does it matter if someone is seeing a psychologist? They're doing something productive to help themselves deal with whatever is going on in their lives, and it's not like it is harmful if it turns out that the student didn't "really need it" (if that can even be determined). Not like anyone's gaming the system just by seeking a mental health diagnosis, treatment, and assistance managing the condition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxiety and depression are absolutely hot excuses.

—tenured professor

It takes away from the validity of the many people that suffer from both. While I as in college mental illness was something that nobody ever talked about and I was ashamed, its at least good to know its more out in the open.

I have an adhd kid that may be heading down the road of mild depression as well.

Anyone can be diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression. Smart kids know this, which is why the elite college have 80% usage rates of Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). Smart kids know how to play all the angles.

Or maybe good colleges promote using CAPS for kids in need? Or maybe smart kids are smart enough to know that they need help?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxiety and depression are absolutely hot excuses.

—tenured professor

It takes away from the validity of the many people that suffer from both. While I as in college mental illness was something that nobody ever talked about and I was ashamed, its at least good to know its more out in the open.

I have an adhd kid that may be heading down the road of mild depression as well.

Anyone can be diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression. Smart kids know this, which is why the elite college have 80% usage rates of Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). Smart kids know how to play all the angles.

Anonymous wrote:Actually I wish I had known what anxiety was when I was a teen. It would've explained so many of my issues and arguments with my mother throughout my teen years

I think I would have used it as an excuse. For example, I was adamantly opposed to going to an awards ceremony. My parents made me go, and I'm glad I did. If I'd known my problem was anxiety, rather than obstinence, I would have guilt-tripped my mom about it.

Kids need to learn how to get through situations they don't like, anxiety or not.

This sucks for kids who really have anxiety disorders or other mental health issues. My DD has anxiety and depression, and OCD tendencies that stem from anxiety but not a separate OCD diagnosis. When her anxiety is controlled everything else is better. She is on meds and does CBT.

Anxiety affects everything she does, in subtle and obvious ways. Sometimes she'll do something silly/dumb/ridiculous/annoying and when I ask why she'll say anxiety. I used to think it was a cop out but she explained it to me with the help of her therapist one time she told me this story, about why she needs to sit in her specific seat.

She sits in the same spot at lunch. It's the best for her for various reasons. She feels safe and secure there. If she can't sit there, she knows she'll obsess about it until at least the next time she can sit there, maybe longer. So at least 24 hours. She worries that if she is obsessing about her seat, she'll miss instruction in her classes. If there's a quiz or test (also has major anxiety about tests), she'll fail. Then of course she'll make a low grade in the class. Because she didn't master the material in that class, she'll fail the next class, and so on. Her gpa will be terrible so she won't go to a good college or get scholarships. If she can't get into a good college, or can't pay for it if she gets into a mediocre college, she won't be able to get into grad school or get a high paying job after graduation. So she winds up working at a pet store selling fish because that's the closest she can come to her passion (marine biology) without a degree. She can't pay the bills with that so she has to live at home forever, and she'll never meet someone to marry because no one wants to date, much less marry, a 30yo who lives with her parents. So she eventually tries to move out and can't afford rent, gets evicted and winds up homeless on the streets, where she catches some horrible disease or is murdered. So basically, because she didn't sit in her spot at lunch, she's going to die alone on the streets.

I was sitting there with my mouth hanging open, astonished. Her therapist said it's very common, when anxiety patients follow their fear fantasies through to the end, for death/homelessness/similar extremes to be the outcome they fear. Sometimes when she blames something off the wall on anxiety I'll ask for more details, and she explains it sometimes. Mostly she internalizes it though. It's embarrassing for her to explain it because she knows it's not normal. So yeah, it sounds like an excuse sometimes but it isn't always. We problem solve to prevent it from happening again and don't dwell on it. I try to be understanding.

I'm sure some kids are using it as an excuse. But if your DD is on Xanax, she might be telling the truth. I'm curious about Xanax though. Surely she has other tools to use too, right? Are you monitoring the Xanax use? It's very addictive, as I'm sure you know.

My DD tells me Tumblr is full of teenagers who revel in their self-diagnosed mental health problems like anxiety, depression, and bipolar. So, yeah, definitely a thing.