Anonymous
Post 10/17/2016 07:02     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:No means no.

Out of context
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2016 06:49     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable?
I tend to touch when I speak - on the arm, hand, etc. I would hate to think that my male co-workers thought I was being inappropriate.

That said, no one has ever touched my lower back. But I always take the elevator.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2016 06:22     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:I was doing software development in 90's. We all had offices back then. I was working with a woman that was about 10 years younger, she started pointing at some code on the CRT screen back then. I could not see that well and leaned over and while leaning over, I put my hand on her back. Instantly I could feel her muscles tense, she went silent and the entire mood changed in the room. Clearly I had crossed a line that I never saw. Pulled my hand away and kept looking at the code and acted as if it hadn't happened, and we continued on our discussion. But it was one those lessons in life, women and men are very different.


Thanks, PP, this is it. It wasn't bad-intentioned, but the way women experience touch (from men) is different than the way men experience touch (from women).

Obviously this really small incident made an impact on you. I appreciate you sharing it.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2016 02:08     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable?
I was doing software development in 90's. We all had offices back then. I was working with a woman that was about 10 years younger, she started pointing at some code on the CRT screen back then. I could not see that well and leaned over and while leaning over, I put my hand on her back. Instantly I could feel her muscles tense, she went silent and the entire mood changed in the room. Clearly I had crossed a line that I never saw. Pulled my hand away and kept looking at the code and acted as if it hadn't happened, and we continued on our discussion. But it was one those lessons in life, women and men are very different.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2016 01:02     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.



Women touch men all the time. The difference is men aren't on a hair trigger to get offended.


The difference is that women don't rape men all the time. Do you feel visceral fear when a woman touches you? Women feel it ALL THE TIME when men do it.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2016 22:29     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.



Women touch men all the time. The difference is men aren't on a hair trigger to get offended.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 22:41     Subject: Uncomfortable?
^*next time
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 22:41     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.


Me too.



Yes most men do without thinking, because most men are a half foot taller than most women and their arms naturally reach the lower back.

Maybe next time he'll just let OP walk in front of a car so he won't risk being accused of sexual harrassment.

You all are bonkers.


So if my boss is shorter than me, and my hand happens to end at his butt, should I grab and hold onto one of his cheeks last time? If I do so "without thinking"?
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 22:40     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Creepy. Would he guide a male coworker that way? No way. He was copping a feel.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 22:40     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.


Me too.



Yes most men do without thinking, because most men are a half foot taller than most women and their arms naturally reach the lower back.

Maybe next time he'll just let OP walk in front of a car so he won't risk being accused of sexual harrassment.

You all are bonkers.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 22:38     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:I would find it inappropriate. If you know him well, ask to speak to him in private, tell him that it made you uncomfortable and that you would appreciate if he would not do it again.

If you are not comfortable with that , ask a supervisor to address it. This could be done in a very non confrontational way.

Honestly, there is a chance the guy did it out of reflex and is embarressed. In that case I imagine he will apologize. If not, he needs to be told that it is not appropriate,



Complete overreaction.

OP if it happens again just say something.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 22:37     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:Co-worker recently "guided me" when we were walking together by touching my lower back. It made me slightly uncomfortable, as I think of that gesture as one that only intimates share. Am I reading too much into it? He's the gentlemanly type, so it could just be that.

Would you guide your colleague that way?



If it made you uncomfortable why didn't you say something then?

Are you also the type to sleep with a guy on the first date enjoy ad then tell your girlfriends about it , they convince you it was trashy and he thinks it was cheap and so you tell people the guy was a jerk and pressured you?
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 21:38     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable?
I would find it inappropriate. If you know him well, ask to speak to him in private, tell him that it made you uncomfortable and that you would appreciate if he would not do it again.

If you are not comfortable with that , ask a supervisor to address it. This could be done in a very non confrontational way.

Honestly, there is a chance the guy did it out of reflex and is embarressed. In that case I imagine he will apologize. If not, he needs to be told that it is not appropriate,
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 19:16     Subject: Uncomfortable?
Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.


Me too.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2016 18:57     Subject: Uncomfortable?
No means no.