Anonymous wrote:My parents sacrificed a great deal to send my siblings and I to private K-12. While I recognize that I received an excellent education and I appreciate the sacrifices they made, I think they made the wrong financial decision. They simply aren't able to afford retirement.

My siblings and I learned from their mistakes. We purchased homes in great school districts and are sending our kids to public school. We are saving for retirement, and we are helping them out since they are strapped for cash.

We also have money to travel with our kids. we never took vacations that involved airplanes or passports when I was a kid, and I want my children to see the world.

Anonymous wrote:Probably not OP. You can't do things for your children and expect gratitude later on. That's not how it works. Children are inherently selfish - that's how they grow away from you. You're bound to be disappointed if you're expecting them to be grateful for any of the sacrifices you've made.

This is why I always say that if you have to ask if private school tuition is "worth" it - you can't afford it. Public school is just fine. Private school is for people who have gobs and gobs of $$$$ - so much so that they don't know what to do with it. It's not worth the sacrifices you're making - living in a small, dated house or not taking the vacations you'd like. It's your one life too. You need to enjoy it while you are still able to. It's not like you're torn between private school and the work house. There's a great public school they could attend that would enable you to fix up your house and take amazing trips.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing many of my friends who send their kids to public school went to private school themselves. And vice versa.

We are currently scrimping and saving to send our 2 kids to private middle and high school. Our income is good (HHI of $320,000), but it still means a small house that needs updating, old cars, clothes from Old Navy, modest vacations, etc. We spend $8000 per month on tuition. After saving for retirement and college (both of which are in good shape), we don't have much left over.

We think it's worth it because we really like the school our kids attend. However, I'm curious if they will think it was worth it. (Most of their friends in our neighborhood attend public school in our Bethesda neighborhood. Our kids do a decent job in school, but are not academic super stars who would excel in public school, and therefore are the types of kids who benefit most from private school, in our opinion.)

TIA! I'm really only seeking advice from people who went to private school themselves as kids, not from people who wish to criticize our decision to spend money on tuition for middle and high school.

You lost me there.

Why? They're spending $80,000 to $100,000 on childcare every year (taking into account summer programs). HHI of $320, probably paying $100k in taxes. So they're spending almost half their after tax income on school. That's absolutely crazy and no wonder cash is tight.

Given that you live in one of the best public school districts in the country AND your kids are only doing moderately well, yeah, private is a waste. If your kids are only doing mediocre in private school, they're not going to be superstars in college. So if you're measuring success by their professional success, they're never going to be superstars on the path they're on. Or, if they are professional superstars, it'll be in a job that they could have gotten with a crappy public school degree too. If you're measuring success by other things, like happiness, then sure maybe they might be happier at private. Or maybe they're happier at public. Who knows. But you're spending an awful lot of money/stress on something that's like a 50/50 likelihood (of being more intangibly happy). I think there are also dangerous messages to send to kids that you spend half your household income on "experiential intangibles" for them.

I went to privates for 5 years in my childhood. It was no better or worse than public for me.

Anonymous wrote:Probably not OP. You can't do things for your children and expect gratitude later on. That's not how it works. Children are inherently selfish - that's how they grow away from you. You're bound to be disappointed if you're expecting them to be grateful for any of the sacrifices you've made.

This is why I always say that if you have to ask if private school tuition is "worth" it - you can't afford it. Public school is just fine. Private school is for people who have gobs and gobs of $$$$ - so much so that they don't know what to do with it. It's not worth the sacrifices you're making - living in a small, dated house or not taking the vacations you'd like. It's your one life too. You need to enjoy it while you are still able to. It's not like you're torn between private school and the work house. There's a great public school they could attend that would enable you to fix up your house and take amazing trips.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is very off if you cannot comfortably pay for private on that income.

Disagree. We make more and couldn't afford it. An 8k a month mortgage would be too high on that income, let alone 8k + their mortgage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

Poor little rich girl wants to understand the lower middle class? Like you're so different from them?

OMG where is my barf bag....are you kidding me?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing many of my friends who send their kids to public school went to private school themselves. And vice versa.

We are currently scrimping and saving to send our 2 kids to private middle and high school. Our income is good (HHI of $320,000), but it still means a small house that needs updating, old cars, clothes from Old Navy, modest vacations, etc. We spend $8000 per month on tuition. After saving for retirement and college (both of which are in good shape), we don't have much left over.

We think it's worth it because we really like the school our kids attend. However, I'm curious if they will think it was worth it. (Most of their friends in our neighborhood attend public school in our Bethesda neighborhood. Our kids do a decent job in school, but are not academic super stars who would excel in public school, and therefore are the types of kids who benefit most from private school, in our opinion.)

TIA! I'm really only seeking advice from people who went to private school themselves as kids, not from people who wish to criticize our decision to spend money on tuition for middle and high school.

You lost me there.

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

Poor little rich girl wants to understand the lower middle class? Like you're so different from them?

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.