Anonymous wrote:Is your son medicated for ADD or are you trying to use rewards instead of properly treating his medical condition? I'm an adult with ADD who was a kid with ADD not too long ago and I never did well with reward systems---If I could stay organized I would have even if I wasn't being rewarded. The feelings of frustration and self loathing are brutal.

+1

My mom always thought kids are over diagnosed and over medicated. She wouldn't entertain the notion that I had add as a child. I just needed to try harder. As an adult, with proper treatment I can do anything. Without my meds, I can't even load the dishwasher in under an hour. All the rewards in the world won't help me be motivated. If anything, they distract me because I'll start thinking about them instead of the task at hand. Then I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do that one simple thing. Don't dismiss meds before giving them a fair shot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have him clean the toilet and sweep the floors if he doesn't do his homework. He'll become a janitor if he doesn't apply himself.

EXACTLY!! I am all for positive reinforcement but paying for grades, getting trips, treats, screen time etc.. if you do good is not reinforcement, it is bribery. What if you do bad? Do you just not get the luxuries. Who cares.

You either earn things you want or you don't get the things you want. Makes sense to me, and that's pretty much how the world works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is tons of research out there on why paying kids for grades is a bad idea. There is tons of research on why traditional incentive structures fail for people with ADHD.

Work on instilling good habits and helping your kid find their interests so they have internal motivation.

Citations, please.

I'm also curious. People always say that school is a kid's job -- I know of few people who would work for free. We paid for grades starting in mid-elementary school.

Is your son medicated for ADD or are you trying to use rewards instead of properly treating his medical condition? I'm an adult with ADD who was a kid with ADD not too long ago and I never did well with reward systems---If I could stay organized I would have even if I wasn't being rewarded. The feelings of frustration and self loathing are brutal.

Anonymous wrote:Have him clean the toilet and sweep the floors if he doesn't do his homework. He'll become a janitor if he doesn't apply himself.

EXACTLY!! I am all for positive reinforcement but paying for grades, getting trips, treats, screen time etc.. if you do good is not reinforcement, it is bribery. What if you do bad? Do you just not get the luxuries. Who cares.

Take a field trip to the local welfare office.

Anonymous wrote:There is tons of research out there on why paying kids for grades is a bad idea. There is tons of research on why traditional incentive structures fail for people with ADHD.

Work on instilling good habits and helping your kid find their interests so they have internal motivation.

Citations, please.

There is tons of research out there on why paying kids for grades is a bad idea. There is tons of research on why traditional incentive structures fail for people with ADHD.

Work on instilling good habits and helping your kid find their interests so they have internal motivation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me think of a small weekly incentive for my 5th grader for keeping up his weekly grades. DS has mild ADD and needs to learn how to stay focused during classwork assignments. The expectations are higher and the teachers are less hands-on this year and he's got to learn how to do it for himself. He can stay focused if he tries and we are working on various strategies to help him with executive functions, but he needs a carrot that can help motivate him day to day. We pay him $10 for As and $5 for Bs for his 9-week report card, so money doesn't seem like a good weekly incentive (I don't care if you don't agree with paying kids for grades, so no need to comment). I don't want to offer candy or other food rewards and he gets enough screen time on the weekends that more isn't an incentive for him. Any ideas on what might motivate a 10 y/o boy?

How about the incentive of a better future by getting a great job after graduating from the top college you were able to attend thanks to the scholarship you received because of your good grades. Works for us.

For a young elementary schooler? Your kids have more forethought than mine

Might as well give them a vision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me think of a small weekly incentive for my 5th grader for keeping up his weekly grades. DS has mild ADD and needs to learn how to stay focused during classwork assignments. The expectations are higher and the teachers are less hands-on this year and he's got to learn how to do it for himself. He can stay focused if he tries and we are working on various strategies to help him with executive functions, but he needs a carrot that can help motivate him day to day. We pay him $10 for As and $5 for Bs for his 9-week report card, so money doesn't seem like a good weekly incentive (I don't care if you don't agree with paying kids for grades, so no need to comment). I don't want to offer candy or other food rewards and he gets enough screen time on the weekends that more isn't an incentive for him. Any ideas on what might motivate a 10 y/o boy?

How about the incentive of a better future by getting a great job after graduating from the top college you were able to attend thanks to the scholarship you received because of your good grades. Works for us.

OP's son has ADD and executive functioning challenges. Unless your child has these issues, you don't understand and the comments are snarky and rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me think of a small weekly incentive for my 5th grader for keeping up his weekly grades. DS has mild ADD and needs to learn how to stay focused during classwork assignments. The expectations are higher and the teachers are less hands-on this year and he's got to learn how to do it for himself. He can stay focused if he tries and we are working on various strategies to help him with executive functions, but he needs a carrot that can help motivate him day to day. We pay him $10 for As and $5 for Bs for his 9-week report card, so money doesn't seem like a good weekly incentive (I don't care if you don't agree with paying kids for grades, so no need to comment). I don't want to offer candy or other food rewards and he gets enough screen time on the weekends that more isn't an incentive for him. Any ideas on what might motivate a 10 y/o boy?

How about the incentive of a better future by getting a great job after graduating from the top college you were able to attend thanks to the scholarship you received because of your good grades. Works for us.

For a young elementary schooler? Your kids have more forethought than mine

Anonymous wrote:Help me think of a small weekly incentive for my 5th grader for keeping up his weekly grades. DS has mild ADD and needs to learn how to stay focused during classwork assignments. The expectations are higher and the teachers are less hands-on this year and he's got to learn how to do it for himself. He can stay focused if he tries and we are working on various strategies to help him with executive functions, but he needs a carrot that can help motivate him day to day. We pay him $10 for As and $5 for Bs for his 9-week report card, so money doesn't seem like a good weekly incentive (I don't care if you don't agree with paying kids for grades, so no need to comment). I don't want to offer candy or other food rewards and he gets enough screen time on the weekends that more isn't an incentive for him. Any ideas on what might motivate a 10 y/o boy?

How about the incentive of a better future by getting a great job after graduating from the top college you were able to attend thanks to the scholarship you received because of your good grades. Works for us.

Anonymous wrote:Help me think of a small weekly incentive for my 5th grader for keeping up his weekly grades. DS has mild ADD and needs to learn how to stay focused during classwork assignments. The expectations are higher and the teachers are less hands-on this year and he's got to learn how to do it for himself. He can stay focused if he tries and we are working on various strategies to help him with executive functions, but he needs a carrot that can help motivate him day to day. We pay him $10 for As and $5 for Bs for his 9-week report card, so money doesn't seem like a good weekly incentive (I don't care if you don't agree with paying kids for grades, so no need to comment). I don't want to offer candy or other food rewards and he gets enough screen time on the weekends that more isn't an incentive for him. Any ideas on what might motivate a 10 y/o boy?

Cut back on the weekend screen time and parse it through the week for finishing homework. Boys like the screen-- it's an instant reward, and if you promise even five minutes of a video game, it's enough incentive to push through homework.

Keep a timer for screen time so they don't get so locked in/ hyperfocused that they can't detach and it becomes a battle. We give 20 minutes to our ADHD/executive function challenged son. He's ten. The rules are -- homework gets done in a quality and cooperative manner.

Also, start good routines if you haven't - read Smart but Scattered. Once the screen becomes an issue, and eventually it will (because that's ADHD for you), find a new system. Use the time that it does work to build good systems and routines.

Also, I think your DS's teacher needs a plan to keep your DS on track at school- it's hard for you to police that except with grades. Good grades don't always mean good focus or behavior.

Hi! What does your son value? I usually base my kiddos incentives based on their individual desires. Each one of mine is so different, so they all value something different. Maybe sit down and make a list of things that your son values. Brainstorming like that usually helps me to come up with some great ideas that I would not have normally come up with.

I usually offer to do something with my kids when they have a particularly difficult HW task to accomplish. I'll go play tennis with them in the evening if they finish up early, or we'll play a game together. Of course, they are still at an age where they enjoy hanging out/getting attention from mom.