Op, your soon-to-be-adult wants to be with his friends, not his parents.

I read your follow up post so I know that it is not an actual 'party' that you are pushing for)

Oh, I read it, but at that age, I would not have arranged a get together with friends for my stepkids birthdays either. They are great kids, but they are responsible for their own social lives by the time they are teenagers, absent some special circumstances or special needs. I would always be happy to drive them somewhere unless it conflicted with work, but setting up a social outing for them? No way.

How many bday parties has the boy gone to over the last 12 months? I'm guessing none, or at most a couple. Boys that age don't have "parties" with cake and games etc. anymore. They could go bowling and for pizza or a movie. But signing "happy birthday" -- definitely not.

OP I would be concerned if your son doesn't want to celebrate with friends at all (unlike most of the PP's, I read your follow up post so I know that it is not an actual 'party' that you are pushing for) especially if it's unusual for him. I'd try to find out if something is up, if he had a falling out with his friends, something like that.

Yes, have your DH FORCE a party on your son

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 is too old for birthday parties. Although I did have a party when I turned 30.

OP Here: Not a birthday party just getting together with friends for a movie or some outing.

I'm not the person you quoted but my 16 year old hasn't done anything with friends for his birthday since he was 11. We go to dinner as a family, he picks the restaurant and we have cake at home. I don't think you should force him to have a party or get together with his friends at this age, how embarrassing for him. Most kid are not doing this by that age.

Exactly. I don't know anyone who is still having birthday "parties" (other than with family) in high school.

B-Day celebrations are for the birthday child. If he doesn't want a party don't have a party. Offer an alternative...a movie night with close friends or invite one friend to a football game or something he likes. Or just a nice family dinner . You don't have to ignore it completely just because he doesn't want a party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We stopped around 12 for DS who didn't want them any longer. DD is happy to keep celebrating as a teen.

Does he do anything with friends?

Not for his birthday. We do a family dinner out, cake and presents.

Bday parties seem to end sooner for boys than girls. My DD (16) and her friend still do small parties. DS (13) hasn't been to a party since maybe 5th or 6th grade. If he and his friends do anything it's just selecting one or two to go play paintball or something similar.

15 is too old for birthday parties. Although I did have a party when I turned 30.

OP Here: Not a birthday party just getting together with friends for a movie or some outing

Why wouldn't he or his friends organize that if they wanted to do it? It seems really unusual to me to have parents involved in setting up a birthday plan at that age. If the child wants a ride somewhere, sure.

Oh my goodness, there is no way that my parents would have organized a birthday party for me at 15. If I recall correctly, I went to a movie or dinner with a few friends for all of my birthdays as a high schooler. This was in Chicago, so we took public transportation.

My twin boys turned 12 last spring and for the first time, they didn't want a party with friends. We still had a family party, inviting local relatives over on a Saturday afternoon. DH bought them some video games and they were happy. I think that most 15 year old boys do not want a party and that's fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 is too old for birthday parties. Although I did have a party when I turned 30.

OP Here: Not a birthday party just getting together with friends for a movie or some outing.

I'm not the person you quoted but my 16 year old hasn't done anything with friends for his birthday since he was 11. We go to dinner as a family, he picks the restaurant and we have cake at home. I don't think you should force him to have a party or get together with his friends at this age, how embarrassing for him. Most kid are not doing this by that age.

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I find odd is the bolded:

Anonymous wrote:Birthday is coming up and I keep asking what he would like to do with his friends. He doesn't commit to anything. The other day he said he didn't want a party. My DH said he should do something for his birthday. He is a firm believer of having a birthday party every year. I didn't really grow up with parties with friends just a family celebration. DH thinks it's strange if you don't celebrate. Anyway, is your teen son having birthday parties?

Your DH is way too invested in how other people, even his child, should celebrate a birthday.

Yes. Is it possible that your DH is making the idea of a celebration unpleasant by inserting too many of his own requirements about how it should happen? And what did you all do as a family? Why doesn't that "count"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 is too old for birthday parties. Although I did have a party when I turned 30.

OP Here: Not a birthday party just getting together with friends for a movie or some outing.

Maybe he doesn't have any friends or just one friend. This happens sometimes in high school.