OP are you male or female?

Ya know, I am usually the person coming up with all sorts of innocent interpretations for things that other people freak out about. In this case, I would say re-watch SATC's "He's Just Not That Into You" episode and find someone else to go out with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We had a polite exchange via text today about how fun yesterday was. I think my confusion is knowing whether he is interested or if he is just trying to be a gentleman. I invited him into my house after he dropped me off and he declined.

Hmmm, that's not a good sign. As a man I'd definitely interpret that as a green light to make a move.

+1

Until you said this, I thought the daytime date was the issue. But this? He's either socially awkward, way too passive, or not interested.

It's hard to tell. He still seems broken over the divorce and he's also exceedingly polite or there could be no chemistry. I haven't been able to get a proper read.

I know several women (myself included) who are married to men who waited several dates to make a move. We all wondered what the heck was going on, and worried that he wasn't interested. And we all were in our thirties or forties at the time.

Give it a couple of more dates OP. If he continues to ask you out then trust that he's interested and try to give it some time.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We had a polite exchange via text today about how fun yesterday was. I think my confusion is knowing whether he is interested or if he is just trying to be a gentleman. I invited him into my house after he dropped me off and he declined.

NP and another guy here - this is definitely odd and I would give it one more chance. If he still hasn't made a move, bring up the issue and ask him. If your gut tells you his response (or even lack of response) doesn't seem right to you, trust your gut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We had a polite exchange via text today about how fun yesterday was. I think my confusion is knowing whether he is interested or if he is just trying to be a gentleman. I invited him into my house after he dropped me off and he declined.

Hmmm, that's not a good sign. As a man I'd definitely interpret that as a green light to make a move.

+1

Until you said this, I thought the daytime date was the issue. But this? He's either socially awkward, way too passive, or not interested.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We had a polite exchange via text today about how fun yesterday was. I think my confusion is knowing whether he is interested or if he is just trying to be a gentleman. I invited him into my house after he dropped me off and he declined.

Hmmm, that's not a good sign. As a man I'd definitely interpret that as a green light to make a move.

Perhaps try this for date #3:

"Hey guy, let's have the next date at my house at night so you can put some baby batter in my oven."

If that doesn't do the job, nothing will!

I met my DH when he was in his mid 30s. Not a lot of aggressive moves early on and he held me off from sex for a bit.

He later told me that he'd gotten involved with some nutso chicks who became stage 10 clingers after sex. At that point in his life, he was basically dating to find someone to marry and have a family with. And if he decided he wasn't interested in someone long-term, he wanted to be able to cut bait quickly and painlessly. So he was dating to get to know people, not dating to fool around or get sex as quick as possible.

You said your in your early 40s. So maybe this guy just wants to get to know you before you get into all the rest.

OP here. We had a polite exchange via text today about how fun yesterday was. I think my confusion is knowing whether he is interested or if he is just trying to be a gentleman. I invited him into my house after he dropped me off and he declined.

Anonymous wrote:Frankly men are put in the worst position. The difference for whether we're labelled creepy or attractive alpha is how much you're into us. So give us hints that you're into us and we'll respond by being the one to escalate physical touch.

This poster is right on the money.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I had 3 dates before a real kiss. Two months before we were intimate. Lots of chemistry so it was very exciting despite being slow. He's a Southern gentleman.

Must be gay.

Guys get a lot of mixed signals nowadays and there is a very fine line between being aggressive and being overly aggressive.

If you are ready, then make sure you are giving clear signals or take the initiative to make the first move yourself. If you insist on waiting for the guy to make the first move, then be patient and wait it out until he is sure that you both are ready for a move.

I think this guy is just being a common gentleman and is trying not to move too quickly out of respect.

If after say 3-4 dates he still doesn't try to kiss you, either he's shy or may not be ready to date.

Keep us posted.....

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. If the second date was in the day time, that could be the problem. Day time, people around. It's hard to have a romantic, private moment in those conditions. And we know a lot of girls don't like blatant PDA either. Next date, ensure that the date is at night and you'll have some privacy towards the end (if you drive separate, park in a parking lot vs the space right in front of the restaurant, etc).

Most guys today know that if she agrees to a second date, you'd better go for the kiss then. My guess is that the conditions of the daytime date didn't lend themselves to an opportunity for it and that he is ruminating over it now.

+1 I agree day time is confusing. Don't know about going for a kiss on 2nd date. I'm a guy and don't think you can be so rigid in terms of 'rules' as women are clearly different in terms of expectations