Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Doesn't help when teachers inflate all the grades and literally every kid with a pulse has A's and B's, even 4.0's are a dime a dozen now. Unless you dive into test scores or see your kid reading for fun all the time it's really easy to become conned into thinking your kid is really smart and hard working.

You know, I find it frustrating when parents claim that nearly anyone can be an A student in high school or college. I assure you that there are plenty of kids who try hard and live with B's and C's. It's sort of insulting to imply they must be nearly subhuman to have such GPAs. Not everyone is the same.

I agree 100%.

Disagree. High school is SOOOOOOO f-cking easy. And how do you expect them to perform in college if they can't muster A's in B's in easy h.s. courses?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Doesn't help when teachers inflate all the grades and literally every kid with a pulse has A's and B's, even 4.0's are a dime a dozen now. Unless you dive into test scores or see your kid reading for fun all the time it's really easy to become conned into thinking your kid is really smart and hard working.

Reading for fun does not equal good grades once you get beyond elementary school. My son reads 2-3 novels per week. His GPA fluctuates between a high C to a low B.

He's bored out of his mind at school. Put him in harder classes, or a harder school altogether.

Many PhD and MD holders aren't gifted nor endowed with superior critical thinking, but they worked hard to get there.

And then some are brilliant, AND they work hard.

This isn't a closed community. Anyone can get there provided they put in long hours.

My kids are smart enough to be whatever they want to be. So far, none of them have had any interest in becoming doctors. My oldest son is an arborist. That's what makes him happy. My 21 year old wanted to work for public works in our town, which is fine with me, because it pays well, has Virginia retirement, and offers really good insurance. Since he's a type 1 diabetic, insurance and retirement are most important for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Doesn't help when teachers inflate all the grades and literally every kid with a pulse has A's and B's, even 4.0's are a dime a dozen now. Unless you dive into test scores or see your kid reading for fun all the time it's really easy to become conned into thinking your kid is really smart and hard working.

Reading for fun does not equal good grades once you get beyond elementary school. My son reads 2-3 novels per week. His GPA fluctuates between a high C to a low B.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Doesn't help when teachers inflate all the grades and literally every kid with a pulse has A's and B's, even 4.0's are a dime a dozen now. Unless you dive into test scores or see your kid reading for fun all the time it's really easy to become conned into thinking your kid is really smart and hard working.

You know, I find it frustrating when parents claim that nearly anyone can be an A student in high school or college. I assure you that there are plenty of kids who try hard and live with B's and C's. It's sort of insulting to imply they must be nearly subhuman to have such GPAs. Not everyone is the same.

I agree 100%.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Doesn't help when teachers inflate all the grades and literally every kid with a pulse has A's and B's, even 4.0's are a dime a dozen now. Unless you dive into test scores or see your kid reading for fun all the time it's really easy to become conned into thinking your kid is really smart and hard working.

You know, I find it frustrating when parents claim that nearly anyone can be an A student in high school or college. I assure you that there are plenty of kids who try hard and live with B's and C's. It's sort of insulting to imply they must be nearly subhuman to have such GPAs. Not everyone is the same.

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids. Two are school smart. One is not.

I see nothing wrong with being honest about being smart. If everyone was school smart, no one would be!

My daughter has other qualities that will help her succeed.

No big deal.

I could have written this post. I have two kids who've always found school relatively easy. Yes, they work hard. But they almost always get great results when they apply themselves.

My daughter is intelligent but also have ADHD and executive function issues that have made school an uphill battle for her. She works hard but often won't have the great results to show for it. Fortunately, she is people smart, kind and sensitive. She also has a creative streak and common sense about the world and her place in it. She will do fine, I'm sure, but no way does she have what it takes to be a doctor. Nothing wrong with that.

Heck no. My son is amazing only at independent reading. You'd think that alone would give him some boost. Other seemingly simple tasks and concepts fly right over his head.

Being "smart" enough is only part of it. I have worked in both undergraduate (medical school) and graduate (residency programs) medical education for over 10 years and have defini

While there are physicians practicing today who do not have good interpersonal/communication skills, what many refer to as "people" skills, it would be much harder for those physicians to get through med school and accepted into a residency program today. Personality and how the applicant interacts with the interviewer is taken into account. One of the USMLE exams (board-licensing for physicians), Step 2 - CS, is a pass/fail exam where all aspects of communication are evaluated. This is taken prior to finishing medical school and is something that all residency programs look at when reviewing applicants.

How a med student interacts with faculty, peers, and patients is taken seriously and is just as important as his/her knowledge base and problem solving skills.

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Doesn't help when teachers inflate all the grades and literally every kid with a pulse has A's and B's, even 4.0's are a dime a dozen now. Unless you dive into test scores or see your kid reading for fun all the time it's really easy to become conned into thinking your kid is really smart and hard working.

When my child graduated from HS, he said he wanted to become a doctor. While I supported him out loud, I thought he would change his mind. As he tackled Organic Chem, I thought he would change his mind. From the MCAT to the med school application process, he has proven his tenacity (to me). Being "smart enough" is only one pice of this puzzle.

Anonymous wrote:What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Pretty much. Wish my parents had been more honest with me and helped me evaluate my skills and talents earlier.

My DH teaches a STEM subject at a small college--Currently, of the 50 students there who are pre-med they think one or two might make it. SAT scores predict MCAT scores most of the time.

What's meaner is acting like every child in existence is fantastically brilliant/pretty/athletic/talented. These parents who act like their special little snowflake is the supreme in every category. Sets these kids up for failure. They're given bizarre self-deluded fantasies of their abilities and reality will eventually be pretty cruel for them. What's wrong with mentioning that a particular child isn't likely to be a doctor? Good for that parent. Only a tiny fraction of any group of kids is every going to attain that high rung, that top job, that brass ring. Isn't it ok to grow up to be an insurance agent?

Anonymous wrote:Or any tough career where you need a lot of brain power and credentials*

I was surprised to hear a dear friend say her daughter "just doesn't have -it-." I took that to mean she thinks her daughter is sort of stupid. Her daughter is 14 (and seems pretty bright to me)! I can't imagine lowering the bar or expectations already. I think you over prepare kids so they can pursue whatever they want at college. It seems her daughter is going to be nudged away from many fields long before college. Sad.

I don't think this is mean. I think it is realistic. No one knows their child better than the parent. You may want your kid to be a brain surgeon and push them in that direction but you are just making them miserable and you very poor paying for an education that they can't get through and they will end up feeling stupid cause they can't. Everyone can't be a * (you name the profession). I have met to many people who have had family have huge expectations on them and they were just average people not nuclear engineering types. They end up miserable for most of their lives till they figure out that they don't have to live up to others peoples wants and needs. If they don't figure it out they just end up miserable for a life time. I commend this parent realizing her daughter isn't going to be winning the nobel prize in physics. Doesn't mean she is going to discourage or lower the bar, she just set the bar realistically