Anonymous wrote:We spend so much time bashing our MILs. I thought it might be fun to admit our own 'bad DIL' moments. My MIL is a piece of work and I really do like to play the emotional chess game with her. She is a mediocre cook at best (making homemade meatballs or meatloaf is about as fancy as she gets) and I am a pretty great cook, really enjoy being in the kitchen, and really enjoy trying various tecniques and cuisines. When she comes over, while I don't *want* to invest the energy preparing anything for her, I put together the most incredible meals because I've realized how inferior it makes her feel. It was especially gratifying last time she was here, and I prepared beef tenderloin, sous vide asparagus, and potato pave (look it up - it's a beautiful dish). She was clearly feeling inferior and said to her sons, "do you remember when I used to make you gratin potatoes?" And one of them replied, "Yeah, out of a box." I was so pleased with myself.

You would think it would make her happy that her son's wife is madly in love with her son, has a successful career, loves to cook, and loves to host fancy dinners. But no - it makes her feel inferior. And I totally relish in it.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the backlash, OP. My MIL and I have a very hard relationship due to her not understanding boundaries. Two big example of this are religion and family values. My Inlaws believe that my children must be taught to be catholic and attempt to teach this to my children through the threat of "if you do not believe, you will go to hell." As far as the family values, my MIL is stuck in a generation long ago and when my daughters talk about a career they would enjoy, my MIL will tell them something to the effect of "Well, yes, that will be fun until you meet your prince charming and settle down to raise your children." My DH and I do not agree with either view but no amount of talking with them over the years gets it to stop. So, I will admit that I did find it very amusing (and I truly enjoyed the moment) when my 17 year old daughter looked my MIL in the eye and told her "If your God would send me to hell even though I try very hard to do the right thing even when it's hard for simply questioning that what you believe, then I do not want to honor your God anyway." I also found it awesome and too funny when my 14 year old asked her if she would come to her wedding if she decided to marry a women instead of a man. I found the look on my MIL's face hysterical and had to leave the room for a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I talked to the girls and told them that although I shared their beliefs and agreed with the overall message they were sending her that they would never change her mind and sometimes we just need to ignore ignorant comments from others but secretly, I was very proud of my girls and enjoyed it. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but I am okay with that!

Anonymous wrote:You guys are jerks. The OP knows she was in the wrong, hence the title of the thread. If you don't want to add to the post, move on.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the backlash, OP. My MIL and I have a very hard relationship due to her not understanding boundaries. Two big example of this are religion and family values. My Inlaws believe that my children must be taught to be catholic and attempt to teach this to my children through the threat of "if you do not believe, you will go to hell." As far as the family values, my MIL is stuck in a generation long ago and when my daughters talk about a career they would enjoy, my MIL will tell them something to the effect of "Well, yes, that will be fun until you meet your prince charming and settle down to raise your children." My DH and I do not agree with either view but no amount of talking with them over the years gets it to stop. So, I will admit that I did find it very amusing (and I truly enjoyed the moment) when my 17 year old daughter looked my MIL in the eye and told her "If your God would send me to hell even though I try very hard to do the right thing even when it's hard for simply questioning that what you believe, then I do not want to honor your God anyway." I also found it awesome and too funny when my 14 year old asked her if she would come to her wedding if she decided to marry a women instead of a man. I found the look on my MIL's face hysterical and had to leave the room for a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I talked to the girls and told them that although I shared their beliefs and agreed with the overall message they were sending her that they would never change her mind and sometimes we just need to ignore ignorant comments from others but secretly, I was very proud of my girls and enjoyed it. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but I am okay with that!

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the backlash, OP. My MIL and I have a very hard relationship due to her not understanding boundaries. Two big example of this are religion and family values. My Inlaws believe that my children must be taught to be catholic and attempt to teach this to my children through the threat of "if you do not believe, you will go to hell." As far as the family values, my MIL is stuck in a generation long ago and when my daughters talk about a career they would enjoy, my MIL will tell them something to the effect of "Well, yes, that will be fun until you meet your prince charming and settle down to raise your children." My DH and I do not agree with either view but no amount of talking with them over the years gets it to stop. So, I will admit that I did find it very amusing (and I truly enjoyed the moment) when my 17 year old daughter looked my MIL in the eye and told her "If your God would send me to hell even though I try very hard to do the right thing even when it's hard for simply questioning that what you believe, then I do not want to honor your God anyway." I also found it awesome and too funny when my 14 year old asked her if she would come to her wedding if she decided to marry a women instead of a man. I found the look on my MIL's face hysterical and had to leave the room for a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I talked to the girls and told them that although I shared their beliefs and agreed with the overall message they were sending her that they would never change her mind and sometimes we just need to ignore ignorant comments from others but secretly, I was very proud of my girls and enjoyed it. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but I am okay with that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If you knew what my MIL has done to our family, you'd be less quick to judge.

So tell us!

Ok, to name a few things.. We had wedding gifts shipped to her house (my husband's childhood home) when we were engaged and several things went missing. Turns out she took and open and used those things as her own without telling us. She took lingerie from my drawers, and it turned up at her house (and smelled like her, so I suspect she wore it). She tried to convince me that I didn't need to visit my disabled mom in another state too often since I have a family in DC now. She's just an oddball. She has issues. She is the biggest issue in our marriage. Several years ago, I'd cry a lot and my husband and I would fight a lot more. Now, I've learned to play the chess game.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. If you knew what my MIL has done to our family, you'd be less quick to judge.

Anonymous wrote:We spend so much time bashing our MILs. I thought it might be fun to admit our own 'bad DIL' moments. My MIL is a piece of work and I really do like to play the emotional chess game with her. She is a mediocre cook at best (making homemade meatballs or meatloaf is about as fancy as she gets) and I am a pretty great cook, really enjoy being in the kitchen, and really enjoy trying various tecniques and cuisines. When she comes over, while I don't *want* to invest the energy preparing anything for her, I put together the most incredible meals because I've realized how inferior it makes her feel. It was especially gratifying last time she was here, and I prepared beef tenderloin, sous vide asparagus, and potato pave (look it up - it's a beautiful dish). She was clearly feeling inferior and said to her sons, "do you remember when I used to make you gratin potatoes?" And one of them replied, "Yeah, out of a box." I was so pleased with myself.

You would think it would make her happy that her son's wife is madly in love with her son, has a successful career, loves to cook, and loves to host fancy dinners. But no - it makes her feel inferior. And I totally relish in it.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the backlash, OP. My MIL and I have a very hard relationship due to her not understanding boundaries. Two big example of this are religion and family values. My Inlaws believe that my children must be taught to be catholic and attempt to teach this to my children through the threat of "if you do not believe, you will go to hell." As far as the family values, my MIL is stuck in a generation long ago and when my daughters talk about a career they would enjoy, my MIL will tell them something to the effect of "Well, yes, that will be fun until you meet your prince charming and settle down to raise your children." My DH and I do not agree with either view but no amount of talking with them over the years gets it to stop. So, I will admit that I did find it very amusing (and I truly enjoyed the moment) when my 17 year old daughter looked my MIL in the eye and told her "If your God would send me to hell even though I try very hard to do the right thing even when it's hard for simply questioning that what you believe, then I do not want to honor your God anyway." I also found it awesome and too funny when my 14 year old asked her if she would come to her wedding if she decided to marry a women instead of a man. I found the look on my MIL's face hysterical and had to leave the room for a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I talked to the girls and told them that although I shared their beliefs and agreed with the overall message they were sending her that they would never change her mind and sometimes we just need to ignore ignorant comments from others but secretly, I was very proud of my girls and enjoyed it. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but I am okay with that!

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the backlash, OP. My MIL and I have a very hard relationship due to her not understanding boundaries. Two big example of this are religion and family values. My Inlaws believe that my children must be taught to be catholic and attempt to teach this to my children through the threat of "if you do not believe, you will go to hell." As far as the family values, my MIL is stuck in a generation long ago and when my daughters talk about a career they would enjoy, my MIL will tell them something to the effect of "Well, yes, that will be fun until you meet your prince charming and settle down to raise your children." My DH and I do not agree with either view but no amount of talking with them over the years gets it to stop. So, I will admit that I did find it very amusing (and I truly enjoyed the moment) when my 17 year old daughter looked my MIL in the eye and told her "If your God would send me to hell even though I try very hard to do the right thing even when it's hard for simply questioning that what you believe, then I do not want to honor your God anyway." I also found it awesome and too funny when my 14 year old asked her if she would come to her wedding if she decided to marry a women instead of a man. I found the look on my MIL's face hysterical and had to leave the room for a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I talked to the girls and told them that although I shared their beliefs and agreed with the overall message they were sending her that they would never change her mind and sometimes we just need to ignore ignorant comments from others but secretly, I was very proud of my girls and enjoyed it. Maybe that makes me a terrible person but I am okay with that!