communication and ease. but it seems like since we had kids and moved closer, both have become difficult.

Reciprocity: my sisters-in-law, brother in law and their offspring often visit our home, take advantage of our beautiful guest facilities and join us at our vacation place but never offer to pick up groceries or pick up the tab for lunch if we're out somewhere. Yes, we have more money and we're generous with it, but it would be nice to receive an occasional token gift or show of appreciation.
Our son in law used to obviously think I was a witch. He's come around over the years and now realizes that I am devoted to my grandchildren, providing lots of experiences and love. He's never once had to pay for a sitter.

I don't have a MIL but have a FIL. I like him. He doesn't second guess how we raise our kids. He brings food when he comes over, presents for the kids, etc. We see him every few months. He is always cordial to me and takes an interest in my job, etc. He likes to talk current events so we do that. If he is critical of me in any way, I don't know about it, and I reckon that he feels the same way about me because I am always warm and welcoming to him. He can yammer on in an old man way and is annoying in other small ways (house is filthy, for example, and when we stay there I inwardly cringe) but mostly I like and respect him. He is kind to my parents on the rare occasions that they see each other. If my DH wanted my FIL to move in with us, I would seriously consider it. I do not feel that way about my own parents.

My only complaint is that when they visit, I do not want them to stay in my house. Otherwise, I get along with them great. My MIL commandeers both my kitchen and the laundry and cannot help herself from rearranging everything in very odd, unhelpful ways. She hid some of my husbands clothes and we didn't find them for over a year. (Long story, she has hoarding issues and this is one very specific symptom of those). FIL is okay, but he parks himself in the most comfortable chair in the house and won't move. And when I say, won't move, will actually pee into a container rather than go to the bathroom.

Now that baby 2 is here, we are done with houseguests. For the record, we always stay in a hotel when we visit them and they have plenty of money to stay in a hotel.

I have a good relationship with my in laws. I don't view my own family as friends so I don't expect it from my in laws either. I don't call ANYONE twice a week to just chat.

We have invited them on vacations with us because we WANT to, not because we feel obligated to. My heart does not sink when they call or text. I trust them with our kids.

I have a good relationship with my in laws. We visit with them every month or so, we FaceTime them every week, send pictures of the kids during the week. They spoil our kids, who love them. Visiting them is like going to a B&B but with better food and free childcare, so I'd move in with them if I could. I'm pretty sure I have a closer relationship with my MIL than my DH does. I'm really lucky.