I'm one of 4 kids. My mom said going from 2 to 3 was the hardest because even with 2 parents, you're always outnumbered. After 3, she said she could have had 5 or 8 and it wouldn't have mattered--eventually, the older kids get more helpful and more kids just means they entertain each other more.

Now we're all in our 20s and 30s and I think she really likes it. She has different relationships with each of us--travels with some, talks on the phone more with others--and loves it when we're all together. As our parents age, it's been great to have a big family where we can each pitch in (one of us is the go-to for medical issues, two are good at financial/government benefit stuff, and another pitches in a lot with petsitting and other household chores). We can team up to get our parents some nice presents, too! But that's not to say you're guaranteed the same results, or that our family hasn't had hard times.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. This is a depressing thread. Not one person has said they're still really glad they did it.

I didn't get that at all. The theme of most posters is "teens are hard work, harder than babies".

Wow. This is a depressing thread. Not one person has said they're still really glad they did it.

Anonymous wrote:We only have two, and one of the reasons is watching my husband's adult siblings struggle and the toll it takes on his mom. People always think that the trouble ends at 18, but my husband's mom has had to financially bail out both my husband's siblings on numerous occasions (not "actual" bail, but you get the idea) and thorough marital problems, etc. she is in her seventies and can't get a break.

All the "fun" and "love" that people talk about with big families certainly didn't happen in his. They are a hot mess, even with Ivy League degrees. And the siblings weren't even there to help mom after she recently had surgery. I was
There, my husband came to help, but the idea that the more kids you have the more help you have is bunk.

You're actually proving the opposite point. Imagine if your MIL had never had your DH! She wouldn't have had anyone to help after her surgery.

We only have two, and one of the reasons is watching my husband's adult siblings struggle and the toll it takes on his mom. People always think that the trouble ends at 18, but my husband's mom has had to financially bail out both my husband's siblings on numerous occasions (not "actual" bail, but you get the idea) and thorough marital problems, etc. she is in her seventies and can't get a break.

All the "fun" and "love" that people talk about with big families certainly didn't happen in his. They are a hot mess, even with Ivy League degrees. And the siblings weren't even there to help mom after she recently had surgery. I was
There, my husband came to help, but the idea that the more kids you have the more help you have is bunk.

Anonymous wrote:What an odd question, Op - - do you really think a parent would wish they hadn't had one of their children?

I think people are understanding the point of the question, so no, I don't think it's an odd question. People ask for others' thoughts and perspectives all the time on this Forum.

I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret. You don't have to list every person's name when you register for the hotel. I promise you that the $10-an-hour desk clerk will not check IDs.

What an odd question, Op - - do you really think a parent would wish they hadn't had one of their children?

Anonymous wrote:I never even knew that hotels would allow 5 people in one room. The idea of sleeping on a hotel room floor skeeves me out!

Parents go in the king bed in the bedroom. Two kids go on the pullout sofa. One kid goes on a rollaway bed. Voila. Fwiw, it probably only works with kids under the age of 10. I wouldn't try to cram three teenagers into a jr. suite this way. Unfortunately, now hotels have cottoned on to the fact that if they don't give you a rollaway bed, they can make you pay for two rooms. Personally I like to get two bedroom suites which are still usually cheaper than two rooms. But some hotels don't offer suites of that size.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know anybody who says that 3 kids is harder as they get older. I'll be honest, there was a particular period in their babyhood where I seriously wondered if I had gone mad having 3. Now they are older - all are in school - and it's great. They are so much fun to be with, even my middle schooler. Seeing their love for each other (don't get me wrong, they fight like crazy sometimes) is even better.

The only downside to 3 is that travel becomes logistically harder - we just graduated to paying more for giant hotel suites or two rooms - and everything is more expensive. That said, I wouldn't trade it at all.

This!

And it seems like so many hotels don't let you put 5 people in jr. suites with a rollaway bed anymore - even if that is the biggest accommodation they have! So annoying. They want you to spend the extra money on another room.

Honestly, if I realized the expectations of parents and kids these days, I wouldn't have had 4 (went for a 3rd, had natural twins). From the intense sports to the other extracurriculars to the overreaching homework, tutors etc, it's all too much and 3 times more busy than when I was a kid. Plus, we have some medical and behavioral issues that are more prevalent these days (the more kids, the more chance something goes wrong). It's exhausting on a daily basis. We used to have calm moments and days when we just had 2 kids. No more.

Op- I think what you realize whether you have 1,2 or 3 kids is that bigger kids have bigger problems. I have 3 but only 1 at home now and while I love having just the one at home, I miss the bustle of 3. With teens, you have to remember that even "good" teenagers can be exasperating.

Anonymous wrote:I never even knew that hotels would allow 5 people in one room. The idea of sleeping on a hotel room floor skeeves me out!

Ah, we camp. Hotel floors are NBD. And some hotels allow more than 4 and some don't. We always go to those that allow up to 6. They usually have two queens and a pullout couch.

Three kids ranging from 10-15 and we always get just one hotel room. We'd never take a vacation if we had to get a suite or two rooms! It's not that money is tight, but vacations are expensive I can't fathom spending more. We don't spend that much time in the hotel and one of my kids takes a turn sleeping on extra blankets on the floor each night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two teenage boys and a 10 year old daughter.

My oldest was an easy baby, toddler and kid. He is tough now. We are going through teenage issues much earlier than I would have thought. He requires a lot of supervision because he is smart, sneaky, and charming. I find it to be a deadly combination (literally).

My middle son was a very difficult baby and toddler. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 1/2. He was very needy and moody. Now that he is older, he is very easy. He does what he is suppose to do, doesn't argue much, and is very upfront and responsible.

My daughter was the easiest of the three during the baby and toddler stage. The verdict is still out on how her teenage years will be.

I do find raising teenagers to be more difficult. I was never up late at night worrying about my toddler's future.

These issues have nothing to do with having three kids. You could be in the same situation with just two. If the third turns out to be the hardest and you think that was because of her brothers in some way, then you'd have an argument that three was the downfall. I think raising any amount of teens is a challenge -- even just one.

Yeah, you'd still be facing the same problem if you'd had an only child.

No, you'd be facing one kid/one problem. Even after we are done with the oldest one, the other two, while easier have their own lives, issues and activities. Yes, I'm only currently worried about one, but I'm still managing three lives. I also went part-time once they hit middle school. It's way more draining than babies, in my opinion.