If she's wearing training bra or camisole, get the same size as her top. If she's size 12 which is usually M, let her try in store for size M.

OP My DDs at age 13 would cringe if I sent them to Nordstrom to buy a bra. Also they are not really set up for "training" bras. All the A cups that I saw were padded and that embarrassed them. I had them measure around their chests (underneath -- band size) and then I bought them a selection from Delia, Justice or JC PEnney by mail order. You really need a "tween" store for this. We thought Target were uncomfortable. Be sure and get some sports bras also. You can get some bikini panties from Target or those stores. I found that they just grabbed 'something" when they went to a store like VS, so that did not work. It is a very selfconscious time of lief and mail order is your friend. GL.

For underwear, buy the same thing she has or a bigger size, if needed. That's not a major investment. She should be able to go to Target and pick a pack of Hanes, etc. in the fit she wants. If she doesn't know, get her a couple different styles.

For bras, yes, it's embarrassing for young girls to use the sales ladies. But either get her mom to do it (and again, buy extra based on what she has). Or show her how to measure herself and figure out fit online (i.e. there are guides to show how it should fit, then she goes to a store, tried on a lot, and gets a sales lady to help if she needs it).

Have her measure for a bra, and choose underwear based on clothing sizes. Measuring only takes a few minutes. http://www.barenecessities.com/feature.aspx?pagename=fit_sizing

Point her to a website that offers explanations for different types of coverage. A t-shirt bra is usually a good starting point.

You cannot respect her privacy and verify fit. Let it go. She's old enough to make her own choices on this. Guide her on finding the right size charts.

Does she have any friends with older sisters, or have a BFF whose mom you could ask for help?

If she really won't go to a fitting, have her get bralettes. (Try Aerie or Victoria's Secret). The sizing will be more forgiving. She can probably accurately pick her bra and underwear sizes based on her shirt and pant sizes.

You really don't need to see her bras and underwear. (Why do you need to see her clothes before you buy them and why would this apply to undergarments? I guess tell her no thongs if that bothers you.)

this is an exception where you don't get to see if it fits. would you want to parade in underwear for your mom to see at 12/13?

go with her to the store. trust her with the salesperson to find a good fit. the salesperson doesnt have to be in the room with her, but she can help with sizing.

trust you DD.

Does she live with you full time? Why don't you talk to her mother about this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment for her at Nordstrom. Someone will help her find the right things.

+1 It's strange to think that salespeople offer this service, but they do.

I went to Nordstrom myself and got fitted and they were great. Best experience ever and they keep a file with what you bought so if you want to order another of the same, they know exactly what you ordered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's almost comical you think you know how a bra is supposed to fit.

Go to Nordstrom or victoria's secret and let the professionals deal with it.

I'm a straight guy. I've taken off many bras, and gone shopping with women for bras. I know what looks right or wrong.

great, you have had sex with a woman, now you are qualified to give your daughter her first pelvic exam.

Why is her mother not dealing with this?

Omg lady, give it a frickin rest.

Ignore the bitches op. Yes, just tell her she needs a bra and give her two choices. She can go to vs and ask salesperson or go shopping with the lady friend.
You're a great dad btw. My dad did the same thing because my mother never did. All is and will be fine but i do agree she will need help from a lady to find her the correct style.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13 and needs stuff that her mother is not getting her. My rule has always been that I won't buy DD anything unless I see it first. How do I do this with bras and underwear. She spent the summer with her grandparents and oddly came home with only 5 pairs of underwear. I asked DD if she wanted a female friend of mine (not a girlfriend) to come with us tor to take DD just the two of them but she said no.

Based on how DD will get wrong pants and shirts fitting I have no confidence in her getting these right on fit without adult input.

Sorry, OP, but your rule is bullshit and it's time for it to go out the window. In no way is it okay for you to see what undergarments your DD is buying. Of course she is uncomfortable with you having anything to do with this process if she knows what your rule is because what girl wants her dad to know what her bras and undies look like? WTF is wrong with you? Either contact one of her BFF's moms and ask them to do a group shopping trip or take her to somewhere like Nordstrom, leave her in the hands of a qualified sales associate, then LEAVE. You are also NOT to review the pieces one by one before paying. Give your daughter a limit (10 undies, 4 bras, or whatever) and let the sales associate know the limit. Once they are done, your DD can call you, you can pay, and it's over.

Anonymous wrote:Another one telling you to take her to the store and let the sales lady take it from there. You can wait outside and pay the bill when it's time.

Yeah, I tried that today. She was not having it. Her mother is very flamboyant and (I think) as a result DD is very modest, so she completely balked at the idea of a complete stranger looking at her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's almost comical you think you know how a bra is supposed to fit.

Go to Nordstrom or victoria's secret and let the professionals deal with it.

I'm a straight guy. I've taken off many bras, and gone shopping with women for bras. I know what looks right or wrong.

Dude, we are not talking about those type of fittings.

Another one telling you to take her to the store and let the sales lady take it from there. You can wait outside and pay the bill when it's time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's almost comical you think you know how a bra is supposed to fit.

Go to Nordstrom or victoria's secret and let the professionals deal with it.

I'm a straight guy. I've taken off many bras, and gone shopping with women for bras. I know what looks right or wrong.

OP, many people here are trying to give you practical, appropriate suggestions and I get that you're on the receiving end of irrational no's from a teenager right now, so perhaps you're just echoing them back, but really, please do reflect on your perceived need to confirm fit. Obviously what looks right or wrong when a girlfriend is modeling underwear to her boyfriend is not the same as what is right for your daughter's posture and comfort, which is what bra fitting is actually supposed to be about - leaving her alone with a store attendant is the right way to go on this.