I was the third daughter. I was supposed to be a boy and save the marriage. They divorced when I was one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, repeat after me. "Not my monkeys, not my circus."

This phrase needs to die a painful death.

Ok, how about, not my elephants, not my circus?

Seriously, I believe it should be said and practiced more often than it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is not an abusive marriage, it could work. I know most of the time it doesn't, but maybe think good thoughts instead of bad. Either way you are going to have a new niece of nephew!

This is the stupidest advice ever, you might as well have asked Santa Claus to bring her a better marriage.

Hey pp.

Tolerance. Something you might consider practicing. Also consider that some do their best and while that might not meet your 'standard' you don't get to set it for the rest of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, repeat after me. "Not my monkeys, not my circus."

This phrase needs to die a painful death.

Why? Most of the time people would be wise to follow it. My mom calls me all the time stresses about shit my cousins/aunt/other random family member are doing. Mom, let it go!!

Anonymous wrote:OP, repeat after me. "Not my monkeys, not my circus."

This phrase needs to die a painful death.

My husband was the fix it baby. It didn't work for them, but I got my wonderfully, sweet and talented husband so something good came of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is not an abusive marriage, it could work. I know most of the time it doesn't, but maybe think good thoughts instead of bad. Either way you are going to have a new niece of nephew!

This is the stupidest advice ever, you might as well have asked Santa Claus to bring her a better marriage.

Ignoring the fact that your comment was unkind - She is already pregnant. Affirming a happy marriage and a healthy child are the only things the OP can do at this point. There was no advice in my post other than to think good thoughts. That's it. Not sure what part was "stupid".

Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is not an abusive marriage, it could work. I know most of the time it doesn't, but maybe think good thoughts instead of bad. Either way you are going to have a new niece of nephew!

This is the stupidest advice ever, you might as well have asked Santa Claus to bring her a better marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I empathize, OP. My brother was considering divorce from his unstable, abusive, cruel wife, but kept trying to fix things because he didn't want to have to share custody of his son (and not see him every day). And then she became pregnant so he decided he'd have to tough it out; he couldn't bear to leave two sons.

The stress and abuse destabilized a pre-existing mental illness that he had had successfully managed for 20 years. He died from his illness by suicide 4 months after my 2nd nephew was born. And now those poor children are alone with an emotional abusive, unstable mother.

I know this is way more drama than you are possibly contemplating...sorry for the thread jack. I just remember being right where you were, seeing a train wreck pregnancy and being unable to stop the disaster. My sympathies.

I'm so sorry. My sister's situation is not that dire but I think there are several red flags. I also believe she enables his behavior.

I empathize, OP. My brother was considering divorce from his unstable, abusive, cruel wife, but kept trying to fix things because he didn't want to have to share custody of his son (and not see him every day). And then she became pregnant so he decided he'd have to tough it out; he couldn't bear to leave two sons.

The stress and abuse destabilized a pre-existing mental illness that he had had successfully managed for 20 years. He died from his illness by suicide 4 months after my 2nd nephew was born. And now those poor children are alone with an emotional abusive, unstable mother.

I know this is way more drama than you are possibly contemplating...sorry for the thread jack. I just remember being right where you were, seeing a train wreck pregnancy and being unable to stop the disaster. My sympathies.

Another post of "someone else is making a mistake, how do I fix it for them"

Another set of posts that essentially say "you can't"

If people ask my opinion, I tell them my opinion if they can make a change. Once pregnant the decision has already been made. Telling your sister "hey, you fucked up by getting knocked up" will certainly not help her.

Anonymous wrote:These things never end well. Stay out of it or they will blame you for interfering.

I'm definitely not voicing my opinion to her; just venting.

These things never end well. Stay out of it or they will blame you for interfering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There may be difficulties in the marriage, but they certainly don't need the pressure of a Nosy Nelly like you passing judgment and negativity.

"I haven't seen a a difference and now they are adding to the chaos." And? Maybe your sister (you know, the one in the marriage?) HAS seen a difference.

How sad that you have a new niece or nephew on the way, and your first instinct is to judge and wag a finger.

Trust me I'm not nosy; she'll bring up drama in her marriage when I did not solicit it. I would actually like for her to see a professional because there's nothing that I can do.

Then open your mouth and tell her that. Tell her that you no longer want to listen to her marriage drama. Be a grown-up and set a boundary.

I hear you. I'll definitely mention that they should see a professional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There may be difficulties in the marriage, but they certainly don't need the pressure of a Nosy Nelly like you passing judgment and negativity.

"I haven't seen a a difference and now they are adding to the chaos." And? Maybe your sister (you know, the one in the marriage?) HAS seen a difference.

How sad that you have a new niece or nephew on the way, and your first instinct is to judge and wag a finger.

Trust me I'm not nosy; she'll bring up drama in her marriage when I did not solicit it. I would actually like for her to see a professional because there's nothing that I can do.

Then open your mouth and tell her that. Tell her that you no longer want to listen to her marriage drama. Be a grown-up and set a boundary.