Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's necessarily a red flag that he didn't tell you earlier. He's probably faced rejection over his disability before and that's why he waited. He did let you know in advance so you did have the option to back out. I don't think it's a big deal.

100% this.

One of my friends is a beautiful woman who was paralyzed in an ATV accident. She still leads as full a life as anyone I know and has an amazing fiancé. She is still able to do lots of outdoor activities (with his help) and go out and have fun with friends, etc. She is not a broken person or damaged goods. Give him a chance and don't hold it against him that he didn't tell you outright. I guarantee if he had that like in a profile or something, you'd never have given him a chance.

Anonymous wrote:Op: if you don't go on the date then that means you are an evil discriminator. You're not permitted to have a preference against dating a disabled man. It's the law of the internet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wouldn't cancel a date, but I would think twice about marriage - my mother had a chronic disease, and it majorly affected my childhood.

Being wheelchair bound is not a chronic disease. A "disability", sure. But not the same as a chronic disease. An otherwise healthy person who is bound to a wheelchair can be very self sufficient and don't require the same family adjustments that a person who has a chronic debilitating disease does.


Also, it's a date. Chill out.

This!

BTW, I have a chronic disease and it has negatively impacted my children's childhood a lot less than my non-disabled mother's refusal to learn to drive impacted mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wouldn't cancel a date, but I would think twice about marriage - my mother had a chronic disease, and it majorly affected my childhood.

Being wheelchair bound is not a chronic disease. A "disability", sure. But not the same as a chronic disease. An otherwise healthy person who is bound to a wheelchair can be very self sufficient and don't require the same family adjustments that a person who has a chronic debilitating disease does.


Also, it's a date. Chill out.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's necessarily a red flag that he didn't tell you earlier. He's probably faced rejection over his disability before and that's why he waited. He did let you know in advance so you did have the option to back out. I don't think it's a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:We met online.
I'm physically attracted to him and his personality from what I know is nice.
We're supposed to meeting up for pizza tomorrow night.
He now told me that he had something he wanted to tell me before we went out. Turns out he was in an accident a few years back that's caused him to need a wheelchair. He told me he would understand if I wanted to cancel on him. He would understand if it's a dealbreaker it's been a deal breaker for other women.
He apologized for not telling me sooner.
My worry is I don't know if it's something I can handle. I've never dated a guy in a wheelchair before. I don't even know anybody in a wheelchair.
Maybe it's the fear of the unknown?
I don't want to cancel on him, and be a jerk. I'm in my 30s and shouldn't be shallow.
I also hate the fact that I'm doubting myself now that I know about the wheelchair, because technically he's still the same guy I was attracted to before.
Would I be an asshole just to be honest with him?
I mean tell him I'm just not sure and it would be new to me.
I also wonder if this a tiny bit of a red flag because he wasn't up front with it. I mean I understand why he didn't, but at the same time waiting to tell me the night before our date is a little off putting.