Anonymous wrote:It's illegal and prepare to lose big on the divorce settlement

Lol....what

It's not illegal, but while you are separated you are still legally married. That means if your soon to be ex finds enough circumstantial evidence to convince a judge of an affair (ie staying until late hours/early morning with the new boyfriend in your/his apartment, emails, pictures, etc) he can file for a at fault divorce on adultery grounds. You will lose any chance at support and likely the children (if there are any).

My advice would be to stay away from dating until the divorce is final, divorce is difficult enough to have to deal with the emotions that will add to it. It could help to turn an amicable one into a nasty one fast.

Take the time to improve yourself, take classes, learn a skill, prepare for your new life without the complications of a relationship. That can always come later.

PS. I thought all the warnings about not introducing you kids is self evident. But my exDW introduced her AP to the kids within 2 months of separating. Don't do that.

Anonymous wrote:I'm separated with a kid and I've dated casually since the separation. Divorce will be finalized in a couple of months. I'm definitely not looking to settle down though wouldn't have opposed if anything more serious got started. But after years of unhappiness, it's nice to be treated well and taken out to nice restaurants and to plays and concerts.

I'm always upfront about my situation and I've never introduced anyone to my kid.

+1 There are lots of people who won't go near you until post divorce. There are some who are in the same boat or aren't hung up on a piece of paper.
Be honest will other people and yourself. I have met some wonderfully talented people ..... and some others. I will say I was not in the right frame of mind for about 6 months post separation

Anonymous wrote:It's illegal and prepare to lose big on the divorce settlement.

That is not true, you are allowed to date, but you are not supposed to sleep with the person.

Anonymous wrote:It's illegal and prepare to lose big on the divorce settlement

Um, nope.

I have been separated for a year and have started to date. If a guy is into you, he will not mind. Really.

Anonymous wrote:Match lists "separated" as a status, along with single, divorced, and widowed. It's pretty common. Most states require a year of separation if kids are involved. I dated the last five months or so before the divorce was final and don't regret it. Did not introduce anyone to my kids, obvs. And it's not illegal, ignore above PP.

Well, if Match says it's valid, it must be.

I think it is ok to date while separated. Some people won't be interested in dating you but some will. I think you just want to be careful not to rebound too much or to make the same mistakes you did with your marriage. Sometimes it takes time and soul searching to process what went wrong.

Match lists "separated" as a status, along with single, divorced, and widowed. It's pretty common. Most states require a year of separation if kids are involved. I dated the last five months or so before the divorce was final and don't regret it. Did not introduce anyone to my kids, obvs. And it's not illegal, ignore above PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done this? Not hooking up, just getting to know another person to see if you might hit it off, with the intention of disclosing to the person you might go on a date with that you are separated and just in the waiting period before the divorce is final. The water seems murky...

Why wouldn't you?

Because you're married.

It's illegal and prepare to lose big on the divorce settlement

I'm separated with a kid and I've dated casually since the separation. Divorce will be finalized in a couple of months. I'm definitely not looking to settle down though wouldn't have opposed if anything more serious got started. But after years of unhappiness, it's nice to be treated well and taken out to nice restaurants and to plays and concerts.

I'm always upfront about my situation and I've never introduced anyone to my kid.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done this? Not hooking up, just getting to know another person to see if you might hit it off, with the intention of disclosing to the person you might go on a date with that you are separated and just in the waiting period before the divorce is final. The water seems murky...

Why do you think a man would spend significant time with you yet wait indefinitely for you to decide its OK to have sex with him? That's delusional. You think guys are just going to wait for you to get your shit together? Why would they?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you time is better spent really focusing on you . Therapy if needed.

Not trying to line up #2

I'm not trying to line up #2. I was very isolated so am really just trying to make new friends.

Okay .

The isolation thing sounds abusive so therapy is a must.

Also dating is not making friends.

Making friends is making friends.

The best way to make friends is to do things you like to do.

So what are you interested in?

Find your hobbies.
Good luck!