My bet is that they are struggling with IF and are telling you they don't want kids so you'll back off.

Sorry pp who will be upset if son doesn't have kids and therefore you won't have grandkids. If you had kids for the future grandchildren than that is on you. Nobody is owed grandchildren. There are plenty of kids who need grandmother's love. Sure they aren't flesh and blood but, you could make a difference in a child's life.

Remember you made your choice and had kids. Now let your son have his own life with or without kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they plan to have kids that is weird and she doesn't work

Op here and I don't know why they don't want kids. I've tried to ask, but all I get is they have thought about it and decided it's not for them.

This is not your business. That she doesn't work is not your business. None of their life decisions are your business. Do you see where I'm going with this? Butt the eff out.

Anonymous wrote:Your sons will have kids... With their second wife who works. Give it some time. This is a starter marriage.

Probably.

Well, if my son does not want kids, fine, but I will be upset for not having grand kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they plan to have kids that is weird and she doesn't work

Op here and I don't know why they don't want kids. I've tried to ask, but all I get is they have thought about it and decided it's not for them.

Their family planning decisions are really none of your business. You aren't goinv to be in the room when they attemtp to create a child so really it is none of your business whether they decide to conceive or not to conceive. Geez.

There could be lots of reasons why they give a general, non commited answer to your prying. Maybe they are trying and not having success. Maybe she has had miscarriages. Maybe your son has an STD you don't know about. Or maybe you raised an adult child that your DIL has to manage amd she has no desire left for a real child of her own.

Don't be THAT mil OP.

My SIL and BIL aren't having kids. They're mid 30s and she exited the grind about 5 years ago. She has a part time self-employed gig, but just didn't want to be an employee doing a 9-5. Their child-free life style helps them afford this, but he also makes a good income and they live in a low COL city that allows them to have a few little rental properties.

To each his or her own. Isn't for me, but who cares if it works for them?

Anonymous wrote:We have friends like this. No kids, wife hasn't worked for probably 15 years. She is very creative and remodels their house, takes care of the pets, has a lot of hobbies. They seem happy to me.

Failing

....and this is your business because......?

It sounds like she's worked plenty hard.

Women tend to get unpaid, or underpaid for the major emotional labor they do for others.

Read this, OP: http://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/

Anonymous wrote:We have friends like this. No kids, wife hasn't worked for probably 15 years. She is very creative and remodels their house, takes care of the pets, has a lot of hobbies. They seem happy to me.

PP here. Forgot to mention travel, they travel constantly.

We have friends like this. No kids, wife hasn't worked for probably 15 years. She is very creative and remodels their house, takes care of the pets, has a lot of hobbies. They seem happy to me.

I've been married 25 years, SAHM for 19 of them. (Yes, there are kids, a difference from OP's situation.) My DH has a number of psychological challenges plus a demanding job. It simply works better for him to work and for me to carry the weight of all the nitty gritty stuff he is unable to manage both with his issues and his workload. As others have said, it works for us.

If you don't have kids tell her to get to work

Leave it be. Honestly, if she was helping and supporting him for 7 years (so, from age 20) she may not have even graduated college or have a lot of skills. She may be running their finances, etc.

I personally don't "get" the SAHW thing but I wouldn't interfere in this unless they're asking you for help financially.