As someone with naturally curly hair, I am so sad that women feel compelled to make every kid look like Jennifer Aniston. The number of movies that start with Anne Hathaway "ugly" with frizzy hair until she gets a completely unsustainably, wildly expensive Brazilian blowout just make me cry.

What's wrong with curly hair?

Completely normal, and something you probably shouldn't expend any more mental energy on...

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

I recognize you from other posts about your daughter's hair. That is, I hope you are the same person, and there aren't two of you out there.
I hope you plan to reimburse your daughter for her therapy bi;;s.

For some people, their hair can just take a beating and some can't. Maybe she's lucky. I used to heat style every single day for, maybe 12 years? Always healthy and shiny, heat protectant spray is a good idea though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

So sad that your own daughter has to tell you to accept her the way she is.

PP, think about what you just said. You're having a hard time "trying" to embrace your daughter for who she is, because she does not look pretty enough to suit you. I'm sure you can think of many wonderful things about your daughter that are far more important than her appearance. What do looks really matter anyway, considering some of the popular (and in hindsight, hideous!) trends from previous generations?

And although I doubt you would need this cautionary tale, I just wanted to mention that I can say from experience as a teen & young adult to know your mother is not going to accept you completely unless you dress like she wants, weigh whatever she thinks is the right number, and look pretty enough... it's pretty hurtful. I'm not saying I think you're that extreme. But it sounds like your DD might be feeling less accepted and supported than she needs at this difficult time. The teen years suck for kids and parents alike. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

This is a sad post.

It really is. You're supposed to building your girls' self esteem, not trampling it and forcing chemicals on them so they look how you want them to look. Ugh. Depressing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. I wouldn't pick that one.

Neither would I.

+1. What's the worst that could happen here?

Perspective, OP.

Yes to this. She's grooming herself, YAY! Let the rest go.

Unless she's absolutely burning chunks off of her hair and completely frying it, let her be. Using a good quality flat iron with ceramic plates on a low setting with a heat protectant spray such as Chi's will be fine in the long run

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

This is a sad post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. I wouldn't pick that one.

Neither would I.

+1. What's the worst that could happen here?

Perspective, OP.

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

So sad that your own daughter has to tell you to accept her the way she is.

I have naturally curly hair and straightened it on and off from about 14-18 and then daily from 19-27. Yeah, it was fried. Just terrible. I look at pictures now and I wonder why on earth I thought stiff, broken off straight hair looked better than healthy curly hair. What finally got me to snap out of it was when I had my second daughter who has very curly hair. It's so gorgeous, and such a complement to her personality, and she gets complimented on it everywhere we go. I didn't want to have her example be me straightening the living daylights out of my hair and giving her the impression hers would look better fried and straight too. So now we wear curly hair together.

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

I am very sorry for your daughter that you not only have the belief that she is only pretty when she exerts a ton of energy into NOT looking like herself, but that you are vocal about it. That is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adult but I've straightened my hair w/ a flat iron every single day (sometimes twice a day, if I'm going out in the evening) for probably the past 7 years. My hair is non-damaged and shiny. There are ways to prvent damage.

I've also done the Japanese straightening and many keratins.

It's hair. It's nbd. If she ends up damaging it, then maybe she'll learn her lesson, but it will grow out and she'll be fine.

Life is tough enough for teen girls - if straightening her hair makes her happy or feel more confident, then let it go.

+1 to all of the above, although I've. Been straightening daily for more than 10 years. I'd also strongly encourage you to let her get Japanese hair straightening or keratin treatments if her hair is super curly/frizzy- it's expensive but would have really improved my confidence as a teen.

I'm an adult but I've straightened my hair w/ a flat iron every single day (sometimes twice a day, if I'm going out in the evening) for probably the past 7 years. My hair is non-damaged and shiny. There are ways to prvent damage.

I've also done the Japanese straightening and many keratins.

It's hair. It's nbd. If she ends up damaging it, then maybe she'll learn her lesson, but it will grow out and she'll be fine.

Life is tough enough for teen girls - if straightening her hair makes her happy or feel more confident, then let it go.