Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just left a violent marriage. I left without much just to get it over with. I'm not proud of being 34 and having to ask friends to help me paint. It's not something I'm proud of. I'm just trying to get myself together right now. I think I'll just do it on my own to avoid overburdening my friends. Thanks everyone.

I don't think you are burdening anyone. I'm sure they all know your circumstances. I'd be elated to help you out.

I only think you need a couple people to assist. Even 4 friends helping could be too many.

I would help if I considered you a friend. With a few people, it should be easy to paint a bedroom.

OP here. I did have one girlfriend who offered to help. She claims to absolutely love painting and helped me with my living room. I was so grateful. I haven't asked them for too many favors, though they have listened to me bitch, cry and vent over the past year.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just left a violent marriage. I left without much just to get it over with. I'm not proud of being 34 and having to ask friends to help me paint. It's not something I'm proud of. I'm just trying to get myself together right now. I think I'll just do it on my own to avoid overburdening my friends. Thanks everyone.

I'm surprised they haven't offered to help! I'm 50 and have helped two friends paint in the last year and they weren't in dire circumstances. That's what friends do. They provided food, wine and tunes and we had a great time.

You should just ask and don't be too bummed if no one wants to help.

FWIW I freaking love painting and I'm a friend that has helped many friends paint. It's my mellow place.

This is why women have girlfriends - if you can't call on them with your chips are down, they aren't real friends - of course, this is all assuming you 1) can't afford it easily and 2) you haven't already asked them a favor everyday for months.

You don't sound like either of those instances - and I have two small children and I would be there in a heartbeat to help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just left a violent marriage. I left without much just to get it over with. I'm not proud of being 34 and having to ask friends to help me paint. It's not something I'm proud of. I'm just trying to get myself together right now. I think I'll just do it on my own to avoid overburdening my friends. Thanks everyone.

In those circumstances, any real friend would be happy to help. Ask away.

+1000 I want to bring my tribe and paint your room.

You need to get a therapist to get over the trauma of your marriage and embrace friends and the give and take of that relationship.

Anonymous wrote:Give people an easy out in asking, so they don't feel like they have to do it. Otherwise, I think it's totally fine to ask. Also, I Think people often want to help friends who are going through a hard time and don't know what they can do. Giving them a clear way they can help, if they are able, is good. If someone can't paint, maybe they'll contribute supplies, etc.

I agree with this. Also, if you have 3 or 4 people, it'll go pretty fast anyway, so the daunting task that it is for one person isn't anywhere near the same.

I have a friend who is recently divorced. It wasn't an abusive marriage, but the divorce has made things tight for him financially, and I would help him out in this way. I'm sure DH and at least a few other friends would, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm 34. They are close friends. My bedroom is close to 300 SF. I've been working like crazy and will be over the next few weeks. It's hard to dedicate time to painting such a large space. Guess it's a bad idea. I'll just do it myself.

I don't think it's a big deal to ask for help from close friends who know what you've been through. I 100% would and pizza/beer sounds awesome.

Definitely ask. "Hey, friends, I'm planning to paint my bedroom on Saturday two weeks from now. I'd love some help and company, and then we'll have pizza and beer! Thanks for any help if you can, and no worries if you can't."

That's the kind of message that a friend who's been wanting to help and needs something specific to do, well, there's something specific!

Best wishes as you recover from your ordeal. I am glad you got out.

Yes, please ask. Beer and pizza would be a nice bonus.

300 square feet is doable. Just do it section by section over a week. I would not ask for help.

Sure, ask! I'd be happy to help a friend, especially someone who has been through what you haved. They are adults and can say no if they don't want to do it. Good for you for getting out of a bad situation OP. Hope things go well for you from here on out.

OP, good for you for getting a fresh start. Best wishes!!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just left a violent marriage. I left without much just to get it over with. I'm not proud of being 34 and having to ask friends to help me paint. It's not something I'm proud of. I'm just trying to get myself together right now. I think I'll just do it on my own to avoid overburdening my friends. Thanks everyone.

In those circumstances, any real friend would be happy to help. Ask away.

It's totally fine to ask. I hate painting but if I were your friend and knew your situation--leaving a violent marriage and not having much money or time--I would definitely show up to help you out.

(Of course, your invite should not mention these reasons and you shouldn't guilt anyone into coming.)

Good luck OP!