Anonymous wrote:OP here. Grandma is 90. She's not dying, but the argument of "this could be the last time..." has come up, and is one I can't win. DH does know about the budget, and the trip was MIL's idea. She got DH's siblings on board first so now it's "all of the grandchildren are going to Florida".
I think what will make me feel better is figuring out some ways to fund this trip that don't involve cutting fun stuff for me and the kids. The trip won't be so bad. I actually like grandma (it's some of the other family members that I can't stand).

Total emotional manipulation. What is wrong with your DH? And why does such a thing have to be planned at a month's notice? "Sorry, Mom, I wish you'd planned that sooner. I hope you all enjoy the visit."

No, you don't have to go. In fact, one argument is that you come down separately another time because you don't want to overwhelm Grandma. I know my 90 year old Grandma can't handle company for longer than a couple hours at a time anyway, especially with a large group that requires leaving her assisted living apt. What kind of shape is Grandma in?

Okay with your update I'd say suck it up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she dying or close to dying?
if thats the reason for MIl suggesting it then I think you need to go.
If MIL just thinks you should go visit because she wants you to then I say no you dont need to go.

Please let DH go alone. Let's get real, if you are in your 30s your DH grandmother is very old and had no interest in small kids or their GRANDkids spouse.

What? At this point, my 90-year-old grandmothers want nothing more than a ton of small kids in their houses. It makes them so happy. Even the grandmother who is kinda grouchy. I've been to see both of mine twice this year, and they talked about how wonderful it was to everyone who would listen. All of the people at the retirement community were so excited to see children and grandma was the envy of the community for weeks!

Can you drive to save some cash OP? Florida isn't too far. We did a trip like this for one of my grandmothers a few years ago and she loved having everyone there. She's still alive and we've visited plenty of times since, but I certainly don't regret going earlier. Your kids will have fun with their cousins too.

fwiw - the 2nd half of August and early September are the cheapest times to visit FL, so the argument that flights and hotel will be expensive because it's short notice may not actually be true

This is not the sword to die on. 90 is up there
I'd just go and make the best of it
There won't be many of these trips
If you really can't swing it just send dh but you might as well all go
I am totally like you though I wouldn't really want to go but it doesn't seem like a choice
At least the grandma is sweet
R