Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher and I've found that my colleagues who don't have children tend to hyper focus on their jobs. My job is my job but when I finish my job, I have a life at home. I'm a single parent and my DD needs me. My end of the year evaluation. One year I am highly effective and the next year I am effective. This year, my effective rating was based on one student who wasn't having a good day when he did the post assessment for my SLO. When things like this happen, it just makes me realize how ridiculous the entire system is. I work to make money for my family. I care about my work and I always do my best but it isn't my life.

I feel exactly the same way. Ex hill staffer doing govt affairs work now. Having kids changed everything. My job is strictly a paycheck now.

I'm happy with where I am b/c I spend a lot of time with my own children. I make a little over $100K as a teacher - with holidays and summers off.

So while there are other moms making MUCH more than I do, they don't see their kids half as much. Camps over the summer are for enrichment, as there's no need to fret over childcare.

My father died 6 years ago, and my mother is in her 80s. There's more to life than making shit loads of money.

Anonymous wrote:For those saying a job is just a job - beyond kids, what do you feel like you get personal satisfaction / make a contribution to the world. I feel like I'm just killing time and entertaining myself with non work things....I wish I defined myself as more than my job and career success but I currently don't (that's the part I'm trying to change)

I can happily answet this. Find like-minded people and work with them toward a common goal that is really positive and useful.

For me, it's putting together a free three hour workshop about wild medicine in the back yard. So many rewards that aren't simple entertainment/killing time: practice new and loved skills, meet many people with similar interests, many unexpected new experiences and doors open, etc, etc.

Finding this sort of a satisfying past time may be surprisingly easy. Find folks with similar interests, pitch an idea and see if they want to make it happen. Or to could start alone and invite folks to join.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that in the private sector, you are working to make the shareholders rich. You might be a shareholder, but small change.

While the shareholders are vacationing several times a year, you are at their mercy working to fund their lifestyles.

Your point is ........?

NP, but the point seems to be why kill yourself to make somebody else richer?

Yup. I work for a large corporation that pays us way less than our time is worth. I do what is expected of me but whenever I may have to really go out of my way, I tell myself: "y'all don't pay me enough to put in all that effort."

I work in health care and some of what I do really is "life and death" so it can be hard to turn that off sometimes. But the part that comes home with me sometimes is just caring deeply about another human and I don't want to lose that.

I also feel invested in learning about my field and feel fortunate that there's always more to learn. So if I'm bringing home journal articles and such I don't really feel like my work is taking over my life.

The other stuff--performance reviews, office politics, etc--I agree with PPs that not having access to email and the like helps a lot. If I get wrapped up in something I might vent to DH but I try to shut it off after 10 minutes or so. If I'm really wrapped up in something I might make a phone reminder to do something about it when I get back to work.

And having kids has helped but also just having non-work interests and hobbies makes a big difference too.

My kids are atheists but I have been dragging them to church, literally, since the day after they were born. The choir, the teen Sunday school group, the service projects and, yes, learning some Bible stories have all been part of making them who they are. Along the way, I became a better and more engaged Christian.

That's what I do. I hang out with kids a lot. It's done wonders.

Succeeding at work? Bah. I never figured out that game.

For those saying a job is just a job - beyond kids, what do you feel like you get personal satisfaction / make a contribution to the world. I feel like I'm just killing time and entertaining myself with non work things....I wish I defined myself as more than my job and career success but I currently don't (that's the part I'm trying to change)

What is hard for me is that I've made and continue to make others look good, but while those guys have gotten promoted I feel stuck. My workload is heavy and my colleagues have difficult personalities, many are flat out incompetent but so many are none seems to get called out for it. I'm in the government so at least none is making significantly more than me but it still stings. I wish I didn't care and I'm working very hard on caring less. One way is by taking up some hobbies again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that in the private sector, you are working to make the shareholders rich. You might be a shareholder, but small change.

While the shareholders are vacationing several times a year, you are at their mercy working to fund their lifestyles.

Your point is ........?

NP, but the point seems to be why kill yourself to make somebody else richer?

Another NP; I don't lay it all at the feet of the shareholders but I've long since given up on doing anything "for the team" or "for the company." Despite the lip service, no company I've worked for has ever given a rats a-- about its people. Work is work - that's why they give you money. Satisfaction and personal growth may come from your personal relationships with people in your workplace. What we're accomplishing? Dust in the wind. It gets easier when you become a parent, people in your life die, you get laid off, you pick up a new hobby in middle age, etc.

My career? It's a paycheck. That's it.

Happened for me when I had a kid. I still care, but not as much as I used to. I *wish* I could care even less but still do a good job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that in the private sector, you are working to make the shareholders rich. You might be a shareholder, but small change.

While the shareholders are vacationing several times a year, you are at their mercy working to fund their lifestyles.

Your point is ........?

NP, but the point seems to be why kill yourself to make somebody else richer?

I wouldn't leave my laptop at work, only because you never know when something may come up and you need to put an out of office up in your Outlook. Also, I have worked in places where laptops have got stolen, and that would fall on the employee.

Anonymous wrote:You realize that in the private sector, you are working to make the shareholders rich. You might be a shareholder, but small change.

While the shareholders are vacationing several times a year, you are at their mercy working to fund their lifestyles.

Your point is ........?

You realize that in the private sector, you are working to make the shareholders rich. You might be a shareholder, but small change.

While the shareholders are vacationing several times a year, you are at their mercy working to fund their lifestyles.