Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:55     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A little back story, my wife has a few annoying habits that I tend to tease her about. One of them is she doesn't use condiments on her food. Yesterday we went to a bbq at my uncle's house and usually she'll avoid eating certain food like hamburgers or hot dogs in front of them because she doesn't want my family to talk about how she eats. Yesterday she had an Italian sausage (just the sausage alone) and I asked her if she wanted a bun and she said no. Then one of my cousins asked her if she wanted mustard or relish and she said no thanks so she said you're just going to eat it plain, that's weird. I told her she eats all of her food like that, then I joked saying she doesn't eat like a human (something I always tell her) and she was really quiet the rest of the time we were there. She's usually quiet so I didn't think anything of it. On the car ride home, she started crying and said I embarrassed her in front of my family and she said this is why she doesn't like going to their events or eating around them. I apologized and told her we always joke like that, but she said she didn't take it as a joke. She hasn't spoken to me since. How can make this up to her?


Your family sounds a lot like mine. A lot of fun. We kid around a lot. If we make fun of you, it means we like you. If I take a guy around my family and they don't make fun of him by the end of the day, they don't like him. If you are a little sensitive then families like this are going to be hard on you. I assume your wife knew about your family before marrying you. If she knew this then she also needs to grow a little tougher knowing who she is dealing with. Can you and your family take it a little easier on her? Sure but she has to give some too. Maybe make a little fun of herself about her condiment use and then that takes the attention off her. You didn't embarrass her in front of your family, she got treated like the rest of the family. You don't want your wife to be that one person the whole family has to tiptoe around all the time. That causes way to many problems and the family will start to think she isn't really part of them. You could back of a bit but she needs to grow a little armor around your family and be able to take and give it back when she is around them.


+1 You don't seem well matched. If you don't have kids then just get a divorce.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:50     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
10:50 here. Also, why the hell is is "annoying" that she doesn't use condiments on her food?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:50     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
I would suggest that you think about the kinds of jokes you make and try to view them through the eyes of the person they're being made about. It sounds like you were trying to make yourself sound funny at your wife's expense. Note: the joke was not funny and was a shitty thing to do to someone you love. You can make it up to her by telling her that you realize that and not ever doing it again.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:49     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:A little back story, my wife has a few annoying habits that I tend to tease her about. One of them is she doesn't use condiments on her food. Yesterday we went to a bbq at my uncle's house and usually she'll avoid eating certain food like hamburgers or hot dogs in front of them because she doesn't want my family to talk about how she eats. Yesterday she had an Italian sausage (just the sausage alone) and I asked her if she wanted a bun and she said no. Then one of my cousins asked her if she wanted mustard or relish and she said no thanks so she said you're just going to eat it plain, that's weird. I told her she eats all of her food like that, then I joked saying she doesn't eat like a human (something I always tell her) and she was really quiet the rest of the time we were there. She's usually quiet so I didn't think anything of it. On the car ride home, she started crying and said I embarrassed her in front of my family and she said this is why she doesn't like going to their events or eating around them. I apologized and told her we always joke like that, but she said she didn't take it as a joke. She hasn't spoken to me since. How can make this up to her?


Your family sounds a lot like mine. A lot of fun. We kid around a lot. If we make fun of you, it means we like you. If I take a guy around my family and they don't make fun of him by the end of the day, they don't like him. If you are a little sensitive then families like this are going to be hard on you. I assume your wife knew about your family before marrying you. If she knew this then she also needs to grow a little tougher knowing who she is dealing with. Can you and your family take it a little easier on her? Sure but she has to give some too. Maybe make a little fun of herself about her condiment use and then that takes the attention off her. You didn't embarrass her in front of your family, she got treated like the rest of the family. You don't want your wife to be that one person the whole family has to tiptoe around all the time. That causes way to many problems and the family will start to think she isn't really part of them. You could back of a bit but she needs to grow a little armor around your family and be able to take and give it back when she is around them.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:49     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?

It's cruel for you to harp on this, OP.

So the bigger question is, why do you do this? If you know why, it will help you stop, and maybe get at what's really bothering you...

Is it that she's controlling her weight and you feel it's unhealthy and potentially anorexic, so your solution is to prod her about it? It's not working, is it?

Is it that all your family eats a certain way, and does everything else in a certain way, and you are so ignorant and uncultured you can't imagine someone else doing things differently? Well, that's not working either, is it?

Is it just that you're socially clueless and think you're being super funny when actually people around you are rolling their eyes and thinking you're an insensitive jerk? Not working either.

So besides apologizing and stopping that particular behavior, you need a little introspection and an attitude make-over to effect a permanent change. Good luck.

Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:49     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
This post is so Freudian that I wonder if it's a joke. OP, do you have a small penis?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:49     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with eating a plain sausage.

Oh, indeed.


What about plain hamburgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, tacos, salads, cake, and anything else you can think of that people put condiments on?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:49     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. Why do you have to comment on how she eats? Next time, just make sure she has drinks, napkins, and she doesn't need anything else and let her be.


Make sure she has drinks and napkins and anything else she needs? Is she two?? I'm serious. That's how I set up my kids for dinner. You think this man should do that for his adult wife?


I do for my DW and she does for me.


LOL well okay then. Does she wipe your mouth and comment on how many bites you took as well?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:48     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. Why do you have to comment on how she eats? Next time, just make sure she has drinks, napkins, and she doesn't need anything else and let her be.


Make sure she has drinks and napkins and anything else she needs? Is she two?? I'm serious. That's how I set up my kids for dinner. You think this man should do that for his adult wife?


I do for my DW and she does for me.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:47     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. Why do you have to comment on how she eats? Next time, just make sure she has drinks, napkins, and she doesn't need anything else and let her be.


Make sure she has drinks and napkins and anything else she needs? Is she two?? I'm serious. That's how I set up my kids for dinner. You think this man should do that for his adult wife?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:46     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How about flowers and a sincere apology and then STOP DOING IT?? There's actually nothing wrong with eating a plain sausage. Just let the woman eat in peace. Think how annoying it would be if she constantly commented on/criticized your eating habits.


She has habits that I find annoying, just like I have habits she finds annoying. We tease each other about them all the time.


How is her not using condiments annoying to you? It has 0 impact on you or your life.

My DH and I tease each other about stuff all the time but we both have things that are off limits for teasing. She has clearly expressed to you that she is sensitive about this, to the point of avoiding certain pretty common foods around your family because she doesn't want to be teased. Yet you still make fun of her. Grow up.


Well it's not exactly annoying, it's weird to me.


So it doesn't annoy you, it doesn't impact you, she's let you know she doesn't like being teased about this specific issue (while apparently being ok with being teased about other things so she's not just a super sensitive soul that takes offense at everything), yet you still insist on embarrassing her in front of your family about this. To the point of making her cry about it.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:45     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Your wife cries because someone thought it was weird she doesn't use condiments? God I can't stand babyish grown women who act like that.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:45     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Nothing wrong with eating a plain sausage.

Oh, indeed.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:45     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How about flowers and a sincere apology and then STOP DOING IT?? There's actually nothing wrong with eating a plain sausage. Just let the woman eat in peace. Think how annoying it would be if she constantly commented on/criticized your eating habits.


She has habits that I find annoying, just like I have habits she finds annoying. We tease each other about them all the time.


Just curious, which of your habits does she tease you about? Does she also do it in front of her family?


One thing she teased me about is talking in my sleep. She recorded it once and showed her sister the video. We all laughed about it.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2016 10:45     Subject: How do I make it up to my wife?
+1 to 10:38


I'd annoy the crap out of you, OP. I hate condiments, and I eat my sundaes without whipped cream. And yet, oddly, I am pretty sure I am human.