Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the mental health of mom? Her quality of life? Should she be a miserable mom in an unhappy marriage for the sake of a child?

Yes. You sacrifice for your children. That's what you do.

Anonymous wrote:You do realize this leads to depression and anxiety hence the reason some many couples around here are on meds.

Divorce is far more devastating for the mental health of the child, leading to lifelong depression and anxiety.

Well as a child of divorce and parents who should have divorced 10yrs sooner; Don't do them any favors. I would have rather lived in poverty and on food stamps and at home with my mother than have to deal with the epic WWII battles they would have morning, noon and night. Don't sacrifice for your kids, do what is right for them and sometime having mommy/daddy away is a good thing.

Please seek counseling. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. One of them would be in a better position to offer guidance with regard to your situation. I’m praying for you and your family.

Please seek counseling. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. One of them would be in a better position to offer guidance with regard to your situation. I’m praying for you and your family.

OP,

You should really talk to a divorce attorney who can walk you through the options. It will also make it more real for you.

I have two close friends who divorced early in their marriage: one who remarried and is very happy (the first marriage was a mistake and they had no kids). The other who has been struggling for years because the reality is that she wasn't willing to work on her relationships, and is fighting with the father of her child, and her ex-ILs, as well as wondering why she can't find the man of her dreams. She thought she could just boss people around and they would want to live with her always.

So I hope you know what you're doing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the mental health of mom? Her quality of life? Should she be a miserable mom in an unhappy marriage for the sake of a child?

Yes. You sacrifice for your children. That's what you do.

Anonymous wrote:You do realize this leads to depression and anxiety hence the reason some many couples around here are on meds.

Divorce is far more devastating for the mental health of the child, leading to lifelong depression and anxiety.

Oh stop with this nonsense. Yes, obviously, a contentious divorce and parents who use their kid(s) as pawns in their relationship chess can have devastating effects on a child. But so can watching their parents try and fail to coexist in a contentious, loveless marriage of daily strife. I got my "lifelong depression and anxiety" (which is perfectly manageable thanks to some solid counseling) from the latter, so don't think OP is doing the kid a favor by "sacrificing" her happiness, sanity, and quality of life.

OP, it's not your job to convince your partner. It's your job to make a decision. If you file for a divorce, he's not left with much choice. Yes, he may drag his feet and make a scene about it, but that's the sort of variable you need to factor into your decision. Split. Separate. Leave, if that's what your gut is saying. Sometimes, that's the wake-up call that shifts things enough to make them functional again. Sometimes, it's the first formal step toward a divorce.

But the question isn't "is it worth it to convince partner..." it's "Is it time to leave?" If it is, GTFO.