Of course op can do whatever she wants. But people are delusional if they think there are no repercussions when woman take paid leave and then don't return, fed or not. I've seen it happen a few times and bridges are always burned, It also negatively affects willingness to invest in other women because supervisors worry they will leave as well.

op, if you are not sure, go back for a few months and see how you fee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens, but it's a shitty thing to do.

How is this shittier than quitting under other circumstances?

Because you're taking advantage of maternity leave policies that exist assuming you're coming back.

Maternity leave doesn't exist. She's taking annual leave and possibly a short term disability leave.

If companies actually had generous maternity leave then fewer women would be forced to do things like this. There's a huge difference between going back at eight weeks and going back at six months.

+1
If we could only do 6 months to a year, think of all the happy babies and moms in the workplace (and dads too, for that matter). But it's just women sniping at each other instead of supporting each other.

You should do some actual research on this. Countries that have very generous maternity leave policies have worse track records when it comes to the promotion of women in the workforce. Turns out employers don't like to hire women for responsible positions when they are likely to disappear for 6 months and then you have to give them their job back. Surprise, surprise.

There's an easy (and family friendly) solution to this though: make leave after the birth of a child available to either parent rather than just the mother. Europe is moving in this direction and, though it will take time for the attitudes and society to change (including equal take up), it means that business can't assume that only women might take time off for this life changing event.

I delivered in May (a few years ago), and was due back in August. Throughout May and June, I knew I wanted to stay home, but come July, I started changing my mind. I made a deal with myself to go back and reevaluate at 30 days, and then at the end of the year.

My rationale was it's easier to make the decision to stay home while you're working than it is to make the decision to work while you're staying home.

I ended up continuing to work.

I like my work, but I don't have one of these powerful, completely fulfilling jobs. I would be lying if I didn't say I still sometimes consider staying home two years later, but for the most part, I am glad I went back.

A friend of mine did the same thing (gave herself dates to re-evaluate), and ended up leaving after five months. We meet for lunch frequently, and she is happy she gave working a try, but knows she made the right choice for her.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. PPs are correct I'm using a combination of annual leave, sick leave, and leave without pay. I think I'll end up deciding not to return to work, but every time I get really close to making that decision I get stuck on how to start that conversation with my office! I don't want to burn bridges. It is a good place to work and I would like to go back to work after a few years. I feel bad about plans being in place to cover my position for 3 months. It would have been easier for them if I'd quite before the baby.

Then you have to make a choice- baby or job.

OP, don't quit until you are 100% sure. And I would argue that you can't be 100% sure until you go back and try working again for a month or two. Then you'll know for sure what you want.

I also know a lot of Feds who slowly ramp up after their leave on a PT basis. Most of the people I know who did this negotiated it before leaving, but depending on your office and supervisor, it's a good option to look into even just for keeping your Fed benefits and a foot in the door for employment and continuing to accrue years in service.

I don't know. If you have a Fed job that you like, I would want to be 100% sure before jeopardizing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens, but it's a shitty thing to do.

How is this shittier than quitting under other circumstances?

Because you're taking advantage of maternity leave policies that exist assuming you're coming back.

Maternity leave doesn't exist. She's taking annual leave and possibly a short term disability leave.

If companies actually had generous maternity leave then fewer women would be forced to do things like this. There's a huge difference between going back at eight weeks and going back at six months.

+1
If we could only do 6 months to a year, think of all the happy babies and moms in the workplace (and dads too, for that matter). But it's just women sniping at each other instead of supporting each other.

You should do some actual research on this. Countries that have very generous maternity leave policies have worse track records when it comes to the promotion of women in the workforce. Turns out employers don't like to hire women for responsible positions when they are likely to disappear for 6 months and then you have to give them their job back. Surprise, surprise.

I did this 12 years ago and never looked back. My husband repeatedly reminded me that corporate decisions aren't made on the basis of personal convenience, so why should I base my personal decisions on corporate convenience?

BTW like a PP, my company actually instituted more family friendly policies after I left. I'm sure it wasn't because of me, but it is part of the learning curve (I was in a very male-dominated sector.)

I have had occasion to deal with my former colleagues repeatedly in my career since (I went back to work after a year) and there are no issues whatsoever. I'm sure there were some people pissed off at the time, but in the end, life goes. The company has to do what is right for its corporate interests, and you are responsible for looking out for your own interests.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you owe them a heads up until you are positive that you don't want to return. Let them know as soon as you make that decision, but don't let them know while you are still contemplating it. If you do decide to go back, you will likely regret having let them into your period of indecision.

And good luck with whatever you choose!

Agreed! Think about how many people at any given time are thinking about leaving their jobs - do you think they are giving their bosses a heads up that they may want to leave??? No!! I don't understand why the burden should be on pregnant women/new mothers to be "fair" in a system that is inherently unfair to all workers, and to families.

I don't think you owe them a heads up until you are positive that you don't want to return. Let them know as soon as you make that decision, but don't let them know while you are still contemplating it. If you do decide to go back, you will likely regret having let them into your period of indecision.

And good luck with whatever you choose!

Agree with posters above that it is different for feds and not such a terrible thing. If you are on good terms with your managers they will understand.

Then again, how far post partum are you? You might feel differently in a few weeks. Maybe what you want is just another 3-6 months LWOP?

If you are SURE you want to leave (not 80%), and want to give your team a long heads up (but don't want to risk having your benefits put at risk) you can say something like "I haven't made any final decisions but now that I am home with my new child, and have a new perspective, it feels less likely that I will return to work immediately after my leave. Again, nothing is final and I'd like to discuss further with you but I wanted to let you know so you can have as much time as possible to prepare for that possibility." Or something. They will get the idea and appreciate the heads up.

It's actually easier for your office to deal with you quitting while you are still on leave because they are used to you not being there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens, but it's a shitty thing to do.

How is this shittier than quitting under other circumstances?

Because you're taking advantage of maternity leave policies that exist assuming you're coming back.

The company chose to create their policies in their best interests. They have every right to offer women no leave and no pay. And most stipulate that you have to pay back any actual maternity leave pay if you don't come back for a certain amount of time. Any STD pay is what the employee has paid into during employment anyway. Women have the right to change their mind if they take maternity leave. Are you suggesting that you take away that right? Are you suggesting that employment for mothers or anybody else shouldn't be at will?

Besides, OP is a fed and they don't even have maternity leave so get over it.

You do what's best for you. Your coworkers, boss, and job don't care about you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It happens, but it's a shitty thing to do.

How is this shittier than quitting under other circumstances?

Because you're taking advantage of maternity leave policies that exist assuming you're coming back.

Maternity leave doesn't exist. She's taking annual leave and possibly a short term disability leave.

If companies actually had generous maternity leave then fewer women would be forced to do things like this. There's a huge difference between going back at eight weeks and going back at six months.

+1
If we could only do 6 months to a year, think of all the happy babies and moms in the workplace (and dads too, for that matter). But it's just women sniping at each other instead of supporting each other.

So many women go on maternity leave intending to come back and then realize what they really want is to stay home with their kid. I only just recently told my boss I'm expecting and she asked if I was intending to come back after leave, how much leave I think I'll take, the usual. She made it clear that she's expecting me to have to make some adjustments once the baby is actually here. Good bosses understand that you can't really know how you're going to feel until you're really in it.

As for how to deal with it, deal with it like any normal resignation. Give at least 2 weeks notice (so at least 2 weeks before the end of your originally planned leave) or whatever the norm is in your office for notification of resignation.