I would not put the dog to sleep until they get back if you can.

If not, I would tell them before you do it.

If you decide not to tell until they come home, MAKE SURE they hear it from you and not someone else (or the Internet). It happened to me twice that my parents did not tell me about a death (once a dog, once a childhood friend) while I was away so as to not ruin my trip/upset me during finals. Both times I heard about it in passing from someone else who assumed I already knew. I understood why they had the instinct to protect me from bad news but it really did disturb my trust for them to a certain extent.

Another vote for waiting. In my family, we don't call anyone in the middle of the night or while they're traveling unless there's something the person needs to do. Let them sleep while they can and/or enjoy their trip while they can. Why put a damper on camp? What purpose will it serve?

If a close family member or friend died, would you leave your kids in the dark for a week? I would feel betrayed in their shoes. Okay, this is a dog. Which means the impact on them won't be as great. But they still may feel resentful for being left out of the loop. I would tell them before putting the dog down.

I'd wait, and also be sure to explain that there was no way to wait for them to come home without the dog being in agony. (If the dog isn't in agony, or could be on painkillers, I'd definitely wait for the children to come home first.)

I'm so sorry.

This is a hard one OP. Last summer my father died suddenly when my DD was at camp. I had no idea what to do -- she LOVES the camp (overnight, another state) and I didn't want her to associate it with bad things plus I was my own mental case about it all. My family graciously put off the funeral for a few days (he died on Tuesday and she was returning the following Sunday) to accommodate our decision on what to do. I called the camp director and talked it out with her. In the end she advised me to tell my DD then and see if she wanted to come home. They would bring her to the office with her counselor and the director so she felt safe and there were immediate hugs available (crying just typing this out). I told her and she was very upset. She said she wanted to come home immediately and I told her of course I would come get her. After staying on a bit longer I got off. Within a few hours the director called back to say she wanted to stay. They were planning special things to do such as sending up floating lanterns for him and she would let her call me whenever she needed. I did get a few calls but in the end she stayed.

Sorry for the long note. I would call the director and see what they think. I know a dog isn't a grandfather but dogs are really important to kids.

Anonymous wrote:Don't wait to tell them. In my family we travel alot and our rule is to always tell the bad stuff that way I can trust you the next time I am away that you are not holding anything back from me. This works for every one. It is very comforting to be away and to KNOW that everything really truly is just great at home.

Any way to wait on putting the dog down until they are back?

I'm not the OP but that's an interesting counter point. I can see some kids not needing this but others (like my sensitive 9 year old) making the same argument.

Tough decision OP. I think I actually might recommend lying and saying she died peacefully in her sleep the morning you came to camp to pick them up.

Wait

100% wait.

I think I'd wait for a dog, unless they ask specifically.

My parents did this to me, but it was my grandmother and they lied to me on the phone when I called to ask how she was (she'd been declining rapidly when I left for the week of camp) and told me she was comfortable. Then they showed up to pick me up early so I could attend the funeral and told me in the car why they were there early. I've pretty much never forgiven them for that.

Thanks for all the responses. We're hoping to avoid putting the dog down until the kids return, but it seems unlikely we'll be able to do so at this point and we'll follow our vet's advice in that respect (i.e., if she's in pain, we'll proceed).

Don't wait to tell them. In my family we travel alot and our rule is to always tell the bad stuff that way I can trust you the next time I am away that you are not holding anything back from me. This works for every one. It is very comforting to be away and to KNOW that everything really truly is just great at home.

Any way to wait on putting the dog down until they are back?

Definitely wait to tell them. Also, since it sounds as if they will only be gone a few more days, will it be possible to wait to put the dog to sleep so that your kids can say good-bye in person? Of course, I am aware that this may not be an option.

Wait. Let them enjoy this week at camp. I'm sorry Op.

I would not call unless you can/will be picking them up to say goodbye. If it is going to happen without them either way, don't ruin camp.

Don't tell. I was away from home when our cat died and my mom called to tell me in the middle of the trip. I was really upset and everyone I was with wanted to comfort me when all I wanted was to be left alone to cry it out. I distinctly remember thinking "why won't these a-holes just leave me the hell alone?" several times.