Anonymous wrote:Hyphenate the last name. That's what we did. Not a big deal at all.

I didn't want to have a different last name from my kids. It's weird. Plus, I had to hear my colleague introduce herself this way every time she called her child's school/DR/made a play date, etc.: "Hi, this is Suzy Smith...Mary Jones mother..." You have to constantly make the connection for everyone when you have a different last name from your kids.

Many of my mom friends have different names than their kids, as do I. It's no big deal. I have never had anyone bat an eye. We did husband's last name, middle name has family significance but is not my last name.

It's pretentious and a PITA. The middle names will be dropped anyway, so do this if you're okay with first-first and last-last names.

Each and every day I see how DMVs around the country butcher Hispanic patronymics and matronymics. It's painful to watch. I can only imagine the headache of explaining your name to every clerk throughout your life

The second middle gets lopped off; use your last name as the first middle.

Anonymous wrote:You could go the Spanish route and hyphenate. It works well in Spain and I have seen it in other countries.

Most Spanish countries actually don't hyphenate - it's just two last names, not hyphenated - but I agree it works fine.

Anonymous wrote:The second middle name usually just gets dropped. Sure, it's officially there but no one will use it. There's usually only one spot for a middle name/middle initial on forms and such.

This. My sister did the same thing, (FN-MN-Her LN-His LN) and the second middle name is barely mentioned. I have no idea if she puts it on school forms or the like. But I guess it made her feel better, having it in there officially, so that's what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this (gave our son 4 names-first, middle, my last name, my husbands last name) it is fine. No big deal with regards to paperwork or otherwise. He thinks it's cool that he has 4 names and I like that my last name is part of his name even though we too chose not to hyphenate.

I say go for it.

We also did this, and it's fine so far (kid is almost 5). Often it's shortened to just 3 names (excluding her second middle name on paperwork, etc. where it's too long), but she knows that she has both my last name and partner's as part of her full name. At her old daycare, they somehow thought the last names were hyphenated, so on paper there she was Mary Sue Smith-Jones instead of Mary Sue Smith Jones. No biggie.

This is the same thing that happened to us, except we got the paperwork at daycare changed by saying "Thanks for being so considerate, but there's no hyphen in (using the example above) Mary's last name. It's just Jones." They said "OK" and changed the paperwork. No fuss at all.

And to the person who thought it was ridiculously hard to say "Hi, I'm Larla Smith, Mary Jones's mom" - this is really a nonissue. If people are going to keep your family straight, they're going to do so regardless of your last name. If someone is not going to be able to remember who my kid is, it won't matter if we have the same last name or not. Generally, this conversation needs to happen once with friends (when we first meet or talk on the phone) and when calling doctors offices, etc. But I'm also laid back about being called by my kids' last name (which isn't mine).

You could go the Spanish route and hyphenate. It works well in Spain and I have seen it in other countries.

My husband wanted to go the four name route but I refused. I didn't want my last name to get dropped all the time - what's the point of it being there then? So we went with 3 names - Chosen first name, my maiden name, DH (and my married) last name

Our kids are 4 also with second middle being my last name. We use the first middle in forms asking for the initial. Neither the social security card nor their passports have a problem with it. Passport shows the first three as given names and husband's last name as surname.

Mine has four--first, middle, my ln as middle, dh's ln. Only issue so far is not having enough room for it all on SS card, so we put just the initial of his first mn, since we wanted my ln on there.

Anonymous wrote:I guess math isn't your strong suit.

Wow! So early for the meanies to come out. You know what I mean. If a kid with two last names marries another person with two last names and they want to include both last names and then add a first and middle than the kid could sound like a royal. So potentially it could be six names, not seven excuse me Princess

Example:

John Phillip Smith-Jones marries Sarah Jane Strong-Adams and they name their kid

Matthew Phillip Smith Jones Strong Adams

Again, the kid in this scenario would have one last name, as OP clearly stated. So your hand-wringing about kids with hyphenated names growing and marrying other kids with hyphenated names is irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:I guess math isn't your strong suit.

Wow! So early for the meanies to come out. You know what I mean. If a kid with two last names marries another person with two last names and they want to include both last names and then add a first and middle than the kid could sound like a royal. So potentially it could be six names, not seven excuse me Princess

Example:

John Phillip Smith-Jones marries Sarah Jane Strong-Adams and they name their kid

Matthew Phillip Smith Jones Strong Adams

Actually, I had no idea what you meant, because presumably they'll come up with their own way to do things as adults when it comes to marriage and kids. Not giving your kid the name you want because they MIGHT end up with the bizarre scenario you've described is ludacrious.

I guess math isn't your strong suit.

Wow! So early for the meanies to come out. You know what I mean. If a kid with two last names marries another person with two last names and they want to include both last names and then add a first and middle than the kid could sound like a royal. So potentially it could be six names, not seven excuse me Princess

Example:

John Phillip Smith-Jones marries Sarah Jane Strong-Adams and they name their kid

Matthew Phillip Smith Jones Strong Adams

Hyphenate the last name. That's what we did. Not a big deal at all.

I didn't want to have a different last name from my kids. It's weird. Plus, I had to hear my colleague introduce herself this way every time she called her child's school/DR/made a play date, etc.: "Hi, this is Suzy Smith...Mary Jones mother..." You have to constantly make the connection for everyone when you have a different last name from your kids.

Anonymous wrote:I would do your kid a favor and drop the middle name. Four names is a lot and the middle name will be dropped anyway. What if they get married would their kid have 7 names?

I guess math isn't your strong suit.