I don't see how you can compare the price of elementary and high school. Elementary is at least 7 years (k-6) while high school is only 4 (9-12). I would start in public school for that reason.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Interesting insights. I can see that there are definitely different opinions, and both sides make sense. I also understand what you mean about it depending on the kid and being too early to tell now, but the reality is that if we're going to send him to private for elementary, we need to start applying this fall! He's a bit young for his class because he has a summer birthday, but he'll be in preK this fall (we live in MoCo, so he's not part of the DC system).

Most privates redshirt summer birthdays.

OP here. Interesting insights. I can see that there are definitely different opinions, and both sides make sense. I also understand what you mean about it depending on the kid and being too early to tell now, but the reality is that if we're going to send him to private for elementary, we need to start applying this fall! He's a bit young for his class because he has a summer birthday, but he'll be in preK this fall (we live in MoCo, so he's not part of the DC system).

We pulled our son from what is considered a great public and it had to do with overcrowding and generally poor communication betwn home and school for 3 years straight. Private is a world of difference. +1 elementary private

Whenever there is a debate one here between public or private, there are these parents whose analysis is always based on their experience from 25-30+ years ago. The line is always: I went to public and I turned out fine." People, schools have changed since then and the small towns some of you came are a far cry from the realities of the over crowded and under achieving public schools in certain parts of the DMV.

To the OP: your child is very young and it is too early for you to need to make this decision now. If you want to start saving and considering the possibilities, this is fine, but you really need to wait and see what would be best for your child when he reaches school age.

This is obviously a very personal decision that depends on the child, the parents, and the quality of the local public schools. My own opinion is that, if the local elementary school is of acceptable quality, private school should wait until middle or high school. Public elementary school allows the child to develop friendships with other children in his neighborhood (less of an issue in high school, when students can drive or take public transportation to see their friends) and the education that is delivered is not substantially different between a good public elementary school and a private one. The difference in knowledge between students coming out of either should be small.

In middle and high school, private schools provide a number of advantages, including forcing students to adopt good planning and study skills (important for college and life in general), providing students with opportunities to participate in team sports (public schools do this, too, but they rarely require it...even non-athletic students at private schools generally participate on teams and get the benefits of sports participation), providing some moral grounding for the students, and providing opportunities for enhanced academic study. Also, private high schools tend to have a strong and loyal alumni network and can provide better and more personalized college guidance.

Not every student wants or needs these benefits, but I would suggest at least considering them for the right student when he gets to middle- or high-school age. I attended public elementary school and private middle/high school (not in the DC area) and found the private high school experience to be invaluable. The friends that I made there are friends for life, and I believe that the skills and discipline that I learned in that time have stayed with me today.

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Anonymous wrote:Once you start in private it can be really hard to leave. If finances are tight enough you can't see paying for it K-12, I recommend starting out in public. You might find out public works well for your child and you never need to move over to private.

Genuinely curious why this is. Is it because your kids friends are all there, and it's hard to leave them? Is it because you've gotten used to things being good and it's hard to go to something that might not be as good?

This. We had to leave private because we could no longer justify the rising expense and it's been so tough to leave. My kids had to say goodbye to their friends, their teachers and administrators who they knew well, they were accustomed to a small, loving environment and a good (albeit) large public school is just not the same. We too made many friends and felt much more part of a community than we do in public. We feel tremendously guilty that our kids are not getting as good of an experience. If I had to do it over, I would have gone straight to public to have avoided knowing just what we're missing. I do think we'll probably go back to private for high school (and possibly middle school if our finances improve).

We are considering a move out of the area, and not being able to replicate the experience our child is getting at school (whether at private or public) is a major factor in our decision. I know there are great public and private schools out there, maybe even better, but DC is very happy, academically engaged and successful, and has lots of friends. That's hard to walk away from, when the alternative is an unknown.

I meant to add -- it's hard enough when the family is moving, but I think it would be particularly difficult to explain to a kid when you're not, and it's because of financial reasons. I could see a kid wondering why you started him in private, knowing he couldn't stay. They won't see the benefits of a great early education, they'll just see that they're leaving their friends and going to a school that is likely to be less supportive.

I would choose high school, with good feeder tracks, in order to position better for college admissions.

If you are in bound for a good elementary school I would absolutely save my money for private high school, no contest. OTOH, getting in to a private school is probably easier early on.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you start in private it can be really hard to leave. If finances are tight enough you can't see paying for it K-12, I recommend starting out in public. You might find out public works well for your child and you never need to move over to private.

Genuinely curious why this is. Is it because your kids friends are all there, and it's hard to leave them? Is it because you've gotten used to things being good and it's hard to go to something that might not be as good?

This. We had to leave private because we could no longer justify the rising expense and it's been so tough to leave. My kids had to say goodbye to their friends, their teachers and administrators who they knew well, they were accustomed to a small, loving environment and a good (albeit) large public school is just not the same. We too made many friends and felt much more part of a community than we do in public. We feel tremendously guilty that our kids are not getting as good of an experience. If I had to do it over, I would have gone straight to public to have avoided knowing just what we're missing. I do think we'll probably go back to private for high school (and possibly middle school if our finances improve).

We are considering a move out of the area, and not being able to replicate the experience our child is getting at school (whether at private or public) is a major factor in our decision. I know there are great public and private schools out there, maybe even better, but DC is very happy, academically engaged and successful, and has lots of friends. That's hard to walk away from, when the alternative is an unknown.

Ok, "conscientious parent," that's cool. It's your money, based on your own selective reading of anecdotes. But the rest of us do appreciate your real estate taxes. We will envy you as we spend our afternoons picking up bawling, miserable, mediocre students from their public schools and lament their pitiful futures.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? Your child is 3 and nearly everything about his or her educational needs (and your future finances) is hypothetical at this point. I and nearly everyone I spoke to in the preschool years had some kind of plan to avoid the local public schools, but in my area they have gotten better and better, and the financial reality of private school kicked in, and now all of those people send their kids to public. Of course it depends on your area. But so many of the inputs that matter here -- like your child's abilities, needs, friendships, interests, personality, etc. -- just aren't apparent yet in a 3-year-old.

At 3 yes, it is apparent if you are a conscientious parent. I was told by 8 PUBLIC school teachers that if I can financially manage it, they highly recommend private school up to 8th grade. Our friends on Mclean hate their public school and now with the huge mortgage can't afford to move or put their kids in private. Another family was old at a parent teacher conference at a public school in Alexandria that their kid was average and will continue to be average. The teacher told them to switch to private and recommended private school as a good fit for their child. A few weeks ago when school ended, I ran into her and asked how their first year went. She practically broke down crying and her son was so ambivalent about school when he was at public. He now actually wakes up before them to get ready, loves his uniform, adores his teachers and friends, and jumps out of the car at drop off. I personally observed this boy when I volunteered for a class party and he is just the happiest sweetest kid, talkative and well-liked by the other kids. I couldn't even fathom describing this kid as average but that's what he was at public.

Honestly? Your child is 3 and nearly everything about his or her educational needs (and your future finances) is hypothetical at this point. I and nearly everyone I spoke to in the preschool years had some kind of plan to avoid the local public schools, but in my area they have gotten better and better, and the financial reality of private school kicked in, and now all of those people send their kids to public. Of course it depends on your area. But so many of the inputs that matter here -- like your child's abilities, needs, friendships, interests, personality, etc. -- just aren't apparent yet in a 3-year-old.

Anonymous wrote:Completely disagree with poster who said kids love being students or they don't. Kids are natural and flexible learners and students from a very young age. Typically those who shut down do so after a series of negative school experiences often in the early years.

This not what I have observed. Kids who were terrors in elementary school, sometimes got motivated in HS and sometimes they didn't. Same school which was a private.

I think it depends entirely on your kid's needs, what skills they want to shore up, and when. One kid might need a boost out of the gate and then they can well apply those skills in a good public school later. Another might do well in public and be looking to advance specific subject matter skills in high school in preparation for college. Every kid is different.