Anonymous wrote:Damn, y'all are harsh. I'm kind of in OP's situation and I not only do not have time to spend 3 hours at the salon every 8 weeks, but I also simply do not have the money to hire a babysitter to do that. I do makeup every day and it is HARD to make sure I do. I kind of have to because I hate my skin, but it makes our mornings very difficult for me to carve out 10 minutes for myself like that while DH is getting breakfast ready, putting away dishes, keeping baby safe, etc. As a result, I am always 10 minutes late to work and I haven't styled my hair in a year. It's also hard to motivate yourself to spend an entire weekend shopping to get some nice clothes when that will place a crazy burden on your spouse in terms of childcare, cleaning, food prep, shopping, etc. I try to shop online but end up returning 90% of things because I need to try them on and see them in person.

That said, OP, I do think if you can spend 3 minutes putting on blush and mascara that makes a big difference if you already have decent skin. Maybe find a way to do a "fancier" ponytail or something so you can style your hair in two minutes. I tried Stitch Fix and didn't really like it, but maybe it would work for you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For hair this is what I would recommend.

1) If you have shorter hair, let it grow until at least shoulder length if not a bit longer. The reason for this is because you really need to style short hair in a certain way where longer hair can actually be lower maintenance (apart from your coloring issues).
2) wash your hair at night. You'll have a bit more time than in the morning.
3) after washing, use Its a 10, it's a leave in conditioner/treatment product that is also a heat protectant. You can let your hair air dry a bit but you want to mostly blow dry it.
4) Also use spray in mousse like the one from Big Sexy Hair. Spray it at your roots. Then blow dry.
5) try to train your hair so you're washing it less often. Use dry shampoo in between washings if needed. I have thick wavy hair and I wash my hair every 3 to 4 days now. It saves so much time. Plus I can also buy more expensive shampoo/conditioner that makes my hair look a lot nicer because I use a lot less.

For clothes you're a size 6 so no worries about stuff not fitting and few worries about stuff not being flattering so that's great. Do you work or stay at home? What's your work dress code if you do work? That will influence where I would tell you to look for clothes.

For makeup, a few suggestions: if you're real low on time go with a powder foundation like Bare Minerals or the chocolate foundation from I think Too Faced. You can get these at Ulta or Sephora and they'll help you find your shade if you aren't sure. Then also do mascara and blush. Just those three products will help A TON and they do not take long to do, seriously. 5 minutes tops.

I have your same hair OP and am also trying to defrump. The hair is the hardest part, but most of this poster's advice is spot on--except the time between washings. For us frizzy fine hair people, it gets greasy quickly and needs to be washed more often. Mousse (of any type) works better than all the other styling products for me too. And, I am in the process of finding a hair stylist. I have to go through at least 4-5 people when I am looking for a new person before I can find one to cut my hair right. Longer is better than shorter as I can pull it back, and sometimes the frizz will be weighed down and be more curly.

I would limit makeup to some BB cream or light foundation/tinted moisturizer, mascara and/or blush, and tinted lip balm. I like Everyday Minerals foundation, as they have shades that are light enough for my skin. The tinted moisterizer is too dark for me--it's sold at Whole Foods and other places. Love the Burts Bees tinted lip balm because it goes on like, well, lip balm but does give some color. I like Bare Minerals, but it is too drying for my skin now that I am older, except in the most humid summer months.

My clothes are super frumpy and I'm plus size, so can't help you there.

I keep my fingernails short and unpolished but give myself a pedicure at home to make myself feel better.

Anonymous wrote:Damn, y'all are harsh. I'm kind of in OP's situation and I not only do not have time to spend 3 hours at the salon every 8 weeks, but I also simply do not have the money to hire a babysitter to do that. I do makeup every day and it is HARD to make sure I do. I kind of have to because I hate my skin, but it makes our mornings very difficult for me to carve out 10 minutes for myself like that while DH is getting breakfast ready, putting away dishes, keeping baby safe, etc. As a result, I am always 10 minutes late to work and I haven't styled my hair in a year. It's also hard to motivate yourself to spend an entire weekend shopping to get some nice clothes when that will place a crazy burden on your spouse in terms of childcare, cleaning, food prep, shopping, etc. I try to shop online but end up returning 90% of things because I need to try them on and see them in person.

That said, OP, I do think if you can spend 3 minutes putting on blush and mascara that makes a big difference if you already have decent skin. Maybe find a way to do a "fancier" ponytail or something so you can style your hair in two minutes. I tried Stitch Fix and didn't really like it, but maybe it would work for you?

Anonymous wrote:I am frumpy. I'm almost 40, a mom of 2 young kids (baby and toddler), and I have become unfashionable and frumpy because I don't have extra time to spend on my appearance/maintenance/shopping. I've also aged a lot since 35 and have lost my looks.

My weight is not the issue--I'm still the same size I was in college (size 6). However, the issues are:

1. My hair--I'm 30% gray, brunette, and if I don't color every 5 weeks my roots are hideous. I don't have time to go every 5 weeks, I usually go once every 4 months, so I always have roots. It's 3 hours in the salon for cut and color so I don't have a lot of time for this and I never color at home.
2. My hairstyle--I can't find a hairstyle that looks good. My hair always looks awful. It's fine, naturally wavy and frizzy, and does not hold a style well. In the summer it's a frizzy mess. I don't have time to style so I let it air dry and it curls in an unflattering way.
3. My clothes aren't that stylish because I don't have a lot of time to shop. I have a few okay items.
4. I have an ugly face. I have a large, unflattering nose, very pale skin, strong features, and I just look harsh in general (the graying hair doesn't help).
5. Makeup--generally I don't bother because I don't have time. I look much better with blush and lipstick though.

I feel down about my appearance and frumpiness and I see so many moms who look so put together and stylish and I have no idea where they get the time for this.

Any suggestions about how to de-frump and look cute and stylish again?

Anonymous wrote:One more thing paint your finger nails once a week!

Anonymous wrote:I understand having difficulty finding time to color often enough--I have the same problem--but Nice and Easy root touch up is fantastic and takes just 15 mins. I do it every two weeks now.