Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that she will be fine and that it will probably be a wonderful experience for her.

I also think that your ex should have discussed this with you proactively. This should not be something that you "just learn." It should be something that the three of you discuss as a group, including ground rules, safety tips, and contingency plans.

Unless things are so acrimonious that they can't.

I can see Ex suspecting this would be the reaction, and deciding to just get the kid to Poland and run with it.

Yeah, Warsaw is a real hell hole.

Yeah, another one in the "she'll be fine" camp. I went away to college in a new city at 17, and so do lots of people.

Anonymous wrote:He has our daughter for the summer. I just learned he basically gave her a bus pass and turned her loose on the streets of Warsaw, Poland. He says she's 17 and she'll be fine. It worries me sick that she'll get into trouble of some sort. He says she old enough and responsible enough to get out on her own. I have no idea where or who she's with, what she's up to. He refuses to understand she is still a child.

Why don't you know what she's up to. Call her, make a plan to check in and everything is ok. No a 17 year old girl taking the bus and on the streets can easily be a victim of crime. They still have poor judgement at that age, in a foreign country can let their guard down. Your ex'es explanation translates he doesn't want to be bothered much and she's pretty much on her own.

Remember Natalie Holloway? They had chaperones who were more interested in going on a free trip then watching the kids.

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

How many teenaged girls have been kidnapped and pimped out in Warsaw? Things can happen anywhere, all the more reason for her to learn some independence instead of someone telling her where to go and who to talk to every second of the day.

Anonymous wrote:I told him before she left that head to watch her. She is working there too, near his office, but he just parts ways with her at the bus stop. WTF? I knew he was always the "hand off" parent and doesn't really care about her. Otherwise he would watch her more. He says he introduced her to other teens - Poles and expats - and she goes out with them. I don't know them. Plus, Warsaw isn't exactly London or Paris or Berlin or some such developed place.

You want him to walk her to work every day? How embarrassing! He gave her a way to get around, she's got a job and friends. Do you expect her to bring her college acquaintances home so you can run a Google search on each one to determine whether or not she's allowed to befriend them? What do you mean "you don't know them." Why would you need to know her friends? She's 17!

My DD is 13 and is off staying at her grandparents for six weeks. I don't know her friends there. What I DO know is that I have confidence in the values I've instilled and the many, many discussions we've had about peer pressure, manipulation, friendship, honesty, etc., and am satisfied DD can handle herself with other kids and knows when she's in over her head and to come get help.

Anonymous wrote:The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

OMG you are kidding me. You think a middle-class american 17 year old with a job and staying with her dad for the summer in Warsaw is at risk of being trafficked? Get a grip, PP.

Do you guys make parenting decisions together? I coparent with the ex, but we run this sort of thing by one another first. If you just tell him what to do, that's not really coparenting, and he doesn't need to follow your instructions. He's just as much a parent as you are, and has the right to make these decisions.

I think we are headed to another DCUM consensus. Mark this day in history.

The world has never been safe but it's obvious to me that so many posting on here are either unaware, or indifferent, to the rampant human trafficking that is going on.

No matter how responsible and intelligent a 17 year old 'young woman' is she lacks the practical experience of someone 10+ years older and is absolutely more vulnerable to those who would do her harm.

I went off to college hours away from home when I was 17. My biggest mistake was learning that Cup 'O Noodles gave me a raging headache.

Anonymous wrote:I told him before she left that head to watch her. She is working there too, near his office, but he just parts ways with her at the bus stop. WTF? I knew he was always the "hand off" parent and doesn't really care about her. Otherwise he would watch her more. He says he introduced her to other teens - Poles and expats - and she goes out with them. I don't know them. Plus, Warsaw isn't exactly London or Paris or Berlin or some such developed place.

At 17, let her make her own assessments about who she spends time with. Are you planning on following her to college to meet everyone she might talk to? Yes, I'd be worried too if my 17-year-old was walking around a European city, but I'd also know that it's time to let go. She's not a child.

OP you are a joke. You are just trying to get people to support you as you act the fool (well) so you can bludgeon your ex.

She's 17. She's fine.

Guess what? Warsaw is a developed city in a developed country.

Do the world a favor, quit being an ass and shut up.

Anonymous wrote:I told him before she left that head to watch her. She is working there too, near his office, but he just parts ways with her at the bus stop. WTF? I knew he was always the "hand off" parent and doesn't really care about her. Otherwise he would watch her more. He says he introduced her to other teens - Poles and expats - and she goes out with them. I don't know them. Plus, Warsaw isn't exactly London or Paris or Berlin or some such developed place.

You make it sound like she's a 6-year-old. This is great life experience for her. You are no longer required to meet everyone she talks to or spends time with. She does not need someone to walk her down the sidewalk or ride the bus with. I've never been to Warsaw but I don't think it's undeveloped. They have a police department, don't they?

I told him before she left that head to watch her. She is working there too, near his office, but he just parts ways with her at the bus stop. WTF? I knew he was always the "hand off" parent and doesn't really care about her. Otherwise he would watch her more. He says he introduced her to other teens - Poles and expats - and she goes out with them. I don't know them. Plus, Warsaw isn't exactly London or Paris or Berlin or some such developed place.