Anonymous
Post 06/15/2016 23:17     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:remember that your MIL will probably come for months at a time


So.....?


I love my MILs visits, she is very respectful of boundaries and so helpful with the kids, and the kids adore her. I'd move her in permanently if she was up for it. That said, I get a pass on 90% of DIL expectations bc I'm white. If I were from their country it might be a different story.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2016 23:00     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:remember that your MIL will probably come for months at a time


So.....?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2016 18:03     Subject: Re:Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Married to an American and met at work in US. Over 14 years of marriage, almost 19 years together. Have 2 kids. He is good provider but lazy father and husband in other areas. No issues with in-laws
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 13:42     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We met in undergrad. Dh is Bangladeshi. His mom has lived with us permanently since my son was born 3 years ago.
He's an OB/GYN and the lifestyle ( especially during residency) has been so hard. Dh does get loud and that bothers me. He's a great father. He still to this day cuddles with our son while we co sleep all night. It's so so cute. He did lots of night feedings when ds was a newborn. I have never caught him staring at other women. He's very committed to me. Overall I am happy with my life.


See, what I can't handle is the MIL aspect. Either yours is the exception and actually respects boundaries, or you are an easygoing sort of saint. In-laws cause huge problems for us.

Mine is from an Asian country. He wanted to break away from the hive mentality, and he found me, who dances to her own tune, even by American standards. We've had to communicate and deconstruct the ingrained beliefs and attitudes that our cultures give us, and be understanding, trying to take the best of each side.


I actually love my mil. My mom passed away when I was young and she's like a mom to me. My grandmother lived with my family growing up so I've been used to this set up. I have 4 American and a few Europeans friends married to Bangladeshi guys and they have all had an easy time with in laws too. I think my situation with my husband is unique. His mom is a widow and my grandmother was a widow as well. We are very close with them and it makes sense to have them stay with us.




Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 11:13     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
I married a Swede. He has become more American than me. That I find annoying. Other than the normal marital annoyances that have nothing to do with country of origin, yes I am happy.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 11:10     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:We met in undergrad. Dh is Bangladeshi. His mom has lived with us permanently since my son was born 3 years ago.
He's an OB/GYN and the lifestyle ( especially during residency) has been so hard. Dh does get loud and that bothers me. He's a great father. He still to this day cuddles with our son while we co sleep all night. It's so so cute. He did lots of night feedings when ds was a newborn. I have never caught him staring at other women. He's very committed to me. Overall I am happy with my life.


See, what I can't handle is the MIL aspect. Either yours is the exception and actually respects boundaries, or you are an easygoing sort of saint. In-laws cause huge problems for us.

Mine is from an Asian country. He wanted to break away from the hive mentality, and he found me, who dances to her own tune, even by American standards. We've had to communicate and deconstruct the ingrained beliefs and attitudes that our cultures give us, and be understanding, trying to take the best of each side.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 10:49     Subject: Re:Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Does Texas count?

Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 10:01     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We met in undergrad. Dh is Bangladeshi. His mom has lived with us permanently since my son was born 3 years ago.
He's an OB/GYN and the lifestyle ( especially during residency) has been so hard. Dh does get loud and that bothers me. He's a great father. He still to this day cuddles with our son while we co sleep all night. It's so so cute. He did lots of night feedings when ds was a newborn. I have never caught him staring at other women. He's very committed to me. Overall I am happy with my life.


Sorry, " I have never caught him staring at other women" made me laugh, he does that all day at work.


Haha that's true. It's a cultural thing.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 09:44     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
I think my DH is from another solar system. We met during his people's secret invasion of earth.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 08:31     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Met in a club (lol I know). It's actually pretty good other than this small business of his cheating (in the past, I hope). I'm originally Eastern European and he's Turkish. He's not religious or conservative (which you might expect him to be, given his background), which is great for me. He's easy going and funny and a great dad. Hardworking. I'm not sure what the future holds because I'm not sure he's great at monogamy. But we have a 3 year old and 3 month old so I'm holding off on any rash decisions for now, and I hope that's behind us.


Can't say I'm not surprised. Have heard lots of stories about Turkish men cheating.


Oops meant to write can't say I'm surprised


Yeah I guess I know now. It's just hard because otherwise he's great. Everyone tells me what a great father he is etc. He's almost perfect in every other way. Has never raised his voice, always looking out for what we need, very nice to my crazy family and so on.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 08:03     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:We met in undergrad. Dh is Bangladeshi. His mom has lived with us permanently since my son was born 3 years ago.
He's an OB/GYN and the lifestyle ( especially during residency) has been so hard. Dh does get loud and that bothers me. He's a great father. He still to this day cuddles with our son while we co sleep all night. It's so so cute. He did lots of night feedings when ds was a newborn. I have never caught him staring at other women. He's very committed to me. Overall I am happy with my life.


Sorry, " I have never caught him staring at other women" made me laugh, he does that all day at work.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 07:08     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Met in a club (lol I know). It's actually pretty good other than this small business of his cheating (in the past, I hope). I'm originally Eastern European and he's Turkish. He's not religious or conservative (which you might expect him to be, given his background), which is great for me. He's easy going and funny and a great dad. Hardworking. I'm not sure what the future holds because I'm not sure he's great at monogamy. But we have a 3 year old and 3 month old so I'm holding off on any rash decisions for now, and I hope that's behind us.


Can't say I'm not surprised. Have heard lots of stories about Turkish men cheating.


Oops meant to write can't say I'm surprised
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 07:07     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Anonymous wrote:Met in a club (lol I know). It's actually pretty good other than this small business of his cheating (in the past, I hope). I'm originally Eastern European and he's Turkish. He's not religious or conservative (which you might expect him to be, given his background), which is great for me. He's easy going and funny and a great dad. Hardworking. I'm not sure what the future holds because I'm not sure he's great at monogamy. But we have a 3 year old and 3 month old so I'm holding off on any rash decisions for now, and I hope that's behind us.


Can't say I'm not surprised. Have heard lots of stories about Turkish men cheating.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 06:22     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
We met in undergrad. Dh is Bangladeshi. His mom has lived with us permanently since my son was born 3 years ago.
He's an OB/GYN and the lifestyle ( especially during residency) has been so hard. Dh does get loud and that bothers me. He's a great father. He still to this day cuddles with our son while we co sleep all night. It's so so cute. He did lots of night feedings when ds was a newborn. I have never caught him staring at other women. He's very committed to me. Overall I am happy with my life.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2016 04:30     Subject: Anyone else marry a DH from another country?
Our relationship ended up being very stable when we adopted a "blended culture" approach. He has adopted some danish norms and i have adopted some american standards in many areas of our relationship, from what we eat to how we are intimate, emotionally.