Anonymous wrote:Tried a clean break with AP. Thought I was mature and candid and the feeling was mutual. In a middle school holding pattern.

I will see this guy tangentially for years. What's up with dudes?? I know he's not into me but doth he protests otherwise.

Can APs go back to friends? Or am I asking too much since he's seen my naughty bits?

I realize avoidance is best.

Your ''bits'' are naughty? Are they only naughty with AP's?

I tried this once without any success. The girl was living with me for a couple years and I knew her family so I was trying to have her break things off. The longer I lived with her the more I disliked her she was a huge liar, and I tried to be the nice guy and hoped she would just move on. Finally she was trying some power play thing with me and I told her to move out. Best thing I ever did

Back in my dating days, decades ago, I was very adept at getting them to break up with me. Nothing done in any egregious fashion but still got it done. Continued friendships with many of them.

When I was 17. After that, no.

I'm a woman FWIW.

Yes, a couple of times in my 20s. The sex was good even though I wasn't interested in dating them anymore. Figured I'd keep them around until I found someone else or got bored. I didn't turn into a nasty person, I just pulled away and eventually it was clear that it was just the cuddling I was interested.

Not mature of me, and thankfully I've changed my ways.

There is nothing about his behavior, or that mentioned by the first several replies that is a uniquely men thing. In my experience, women also do it all the time. And some people will hang on to a relationship they want to end until they have secured a new partner. I don't know if that's him but I wouldn't let him have that much control over your time or entertain his thoughts on who see if he hasn't got time or you.

If he doesn't make time for you, leave him alone! He isn't making you a priority. Why even question whether he is trying to get you to break up with him. Whether he is or he isn't, he doesn't seem to be worth the efffort or your emotions.

Go see who you want and leave this joker alone.

What he is doing is stringing you along so he can continue having sex until he has his next girlfriend lined up. After that, he will dump you.

IMO women do this more often: get really bitchy and flaky to get you to dump them because they want to break up but don't want to be the "bad guy" dumper. It's happened to me twice. Honestly, if you don't want to be with someone, just tell them. You get out quicker and they are ultimately less hurt.

I used to do this when I was very young. It's not good behavior. OP, if he doesn't have time for you, are you really enjoying the relationship? Might be time for you to move on.

Tried a clean break with AP. Thought I was mature and candid and the feeling was mutual. In a middle school holding pattern.

I will see this guy tangentially for years. What's up with dudes?? I know he's not into me but doth he protests otherwise.

Can APs go back to friends? Or am I asking too much since he's seen my naughty bits?

I realize avoidance is best.