Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 18:45     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
I would never have a problem with you just inviting kids over for dinner with your family, but I would feel really creeped out by an invite inviting my kid over when you have OTHER adults that I presumably don't know here.

Agree with immediate PP. I think if they were a bit older like teens that wouldn't be so strange but at 9 definitely weird.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 13:11     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
weird
weird weird
you are inviting my kid to an evening dinner party for adults and my kid has no adult with him
make it another time
another event
my kid is an only at home and I would never ever do this
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 12:07     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
How big of a party are we talking about?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 11:14     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
I'd try to have a few drop off playdates with the other kid first - so you establish the invitations are for just the kid. PPs suggestions of saying you're having a few people over and DS would like to invite a friend so he's not stuck with the adults is a good one. The parents should know other adults will be around. Check in on the kids a few times and you're good to go.

My parents did this all the time growing up. I was thrilled when I could invite a friend over while my parents chatted with their friends. We would just hang out in my room and play whatever game or toys were were into at that age.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 10:44     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kid is at the age when he wants to have friends over for dinner (9). We are older parents and are 10-20 years older than all of my child's friend's parents. Our friends either have grown children or no children, although we do have on friend with a baby --second marriage. Is it OK to invite our friends over for a small party and invite a few kids over for my child, but not their parents?

There is one kid in particular who has had about 3 dozen playdates at our house and 2 at friend's house. We have invited the family for half dozen events including dinner at our house and there is never any reciprocity. I'm not interested in inviting these parents or continuing to try to have a friendship. We are all congenial with one another and I like the family. But I don't want to host the family anymore.

Can we just invite the kid from this family for a party and invite our other friends who do not have kids to the same party? Is that OK or are we stuck inviting people over who never reciprocate and are not even our friends? I'm not sure why they always say yes to any invitation I have proposed in the past. (They get together with other family and friends, just never include us.)



lol. They probably come because you invite them! And I wouldn't be surprised if they are wondering: Why do these people keep inviting us?

You can definitely have your kid's friends over without inviting the parents!


Yes, you can but you don't do it on the same night. Keep an adult party separate from kids playing.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 10:42     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Anonymous wrote:My kid is at the age when he wants to have friends over for dinner (9). We are older parents and are 10-20 years older than all of my child's friend's parents. Our friends either have grown children or no children, although we do have on friend with a baby --second marriage. Is it OK to invite our friends over for a small party and invite a few kids over for my child, but not their parents?

There is one kid in particular who has had about 3 dozen playdates at our house and 2 at friend's house. We have invited the family for half dozen events including dinner at our house and there is never any reciprocity. I'm not interested in inviting these parents or continuing to try to have a friendship. We are all congenial with one another and I like the family. But I don't want to host the family anymore.

Can we just invite the kid from this family for a party and invite our other friends who do not have kids to the same party? Is that OK or are we stuck inviting people over who never reciprocate and are not even our friends? I'm not sure why they always say yes to any invitation I have proposed in the past. (They get together with other family and friends, just never include us.)



lol. They probably come because you invite them! And I wouldn't be surprised if they are wondering: Why do these people keep inviting us?

You can definitely have your kid's friends over without inviting the parents!
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 08:30     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Anonymous wrote:You just have to phrase it well

"Hi Susan, Larlo was hoping Larchlan could come over Saturday late afternoon to play, does that work for you?
He is welcome to stay for dinner. We're having some of Bob's buddies (insert golf buddies, work friends, family, whatever) over for a meal and Larlo is looking forward to having his own dinner party guest."

You don't have to invite everyone to everything anyways, and with these folks not reciprocating it's perfectly fine to invite their son.




Yes!!! It's not your kid's fault that his best friend's parents and his parents don't get along. And you actually don't have to get along. Just be tactful about how you ask and it'll be fine. It doesn't seem like they want to be friends with you guys anyway, so I don't really see them getting upset about it.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 08:22     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, totally fine!

BUT...I would let their parents know that other grown-ups will be there and then let them make the choice.

If you weren't inviting your adult friends, then it's a no-brainer, of course invite them. they would be glad to send their kids and probably glad not to come along..... But because other adults they don't know will be there they may decline, or not.


This. The other adults adds an additional factor that might influence their decision.
Exactly. If you want to invite a kid to have dinner at your house, go for it. But if you invite my kid into your house, I expect a modicum of supervision. If I find out later that you were having an adult party at the house on the night that you had my child as a guest, I might think differently. That just doesn't make sense to me.


This. No problem if you invite just my 8 YO over for dinner with your family, but not sure if I want my child dropped off at a party with other adults I don't know. As some PPs stated, just mention that you're having friends over and your son wanted to invite his friend for company. The parents can decide if they're ok with this.

I'll add that it sounds like you really don't like this other mom, and this is turning into a statement. Maybe just invite a different friend and family of your son?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 08:02     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Anonymous wrote:The exclusion would be fairly obvious and the parents will smell a rat.
If you really do not want to offend, I would skip it.

Instead why not invite their child out to eat w/your family?
That would be much less offensive.


OP here, I get that it will be fairly obvious that parents are not invited, but it is fairly obvious to me that this family has never reciprocated for several things, outings to events where we pay outings where we supply all the equipment, dinner at our house. Mom acts like a mean girl on the playground, doesn't greet me unless I greet her.

Sadly this is my one of my kid's favorite playmates.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 07:03     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
You just have to phrase it well

"Hi Susan, Larlo was hoping Larchlan could come over Saturday late afternoon to play, does that work for you?
He is welcome to stay for dinner. We're having some of Bob's buddies (insert golf buddies, work friends, family, whatever) over for a meal and Larlo is looking forward to having his own dinner party guest."

You don't have to invite everyone to everything anyways, and with these folks not reciprocating it's perfectly fine to invite their son.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 06:05     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
The exclusion would be fairly obvious and the parents will smell a rat.
If you really do not want to offend, I would skip it.

Instead why not invite their child out to eat w/your family?
That would be much less offensive.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2016 20:31     Subject: Re:Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Just do not call it a party. Tell the parents that you are having some people over for dinner and you think it would be nice to for your son to have a friend over.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2016 16:34     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Sounds great, just make it clear that the friends you're having over are not connected to whatever group these people are in. E.g. I'm having some college friends/work friends/old friends/book club friends/sci fi aficionado friends over for dinner and son wanted to know if your kid could come keep him company.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2016 16:09     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, totally fine!

BUT...I would let their parents know that other grown-ups will be there and then let them make the choice.

If you weren't inviting your adult friends, then it's a no-brainer, of course invite them. they would be glad to send their kids and probably glad not to come along..... But because other adults they don't know will be there they may decline, or not.


This. The other adults adds an additional factor that might influence their decision.
Exactly. If you want to invite a kid to have dinner at your house, go for it. But if you invite my kid into your house, I expect a modicum of supervision. If I find out later that you were having an adult party at the house on the night that you had my child as a guest, I might think differently. That just doesn't make sense to me.
Anonymous
Post 06/09/2016 16:08     Subject: Inviting Kids without Parents for Dinner
If the kids are playing, you could do a "hey, do you want to stay for dinner" thing, but tell the parents you will have company.