Anonymous wrote:Please read this first:
http://www.npr.org/2016/04/30/476212898/lets-not-hug-it-out-with-our-dogs

Dogs are WONDERFUL for FAMILIES with children, but you are considering one for all the wrong reasons. You run the risk of ruining a perfectly good dog and the risk of having a child getting bitten by one. There is no breed that is more likely to appreciate hugs, though there are some less likely to bite in response to being subjected to over-exuberant children. I encourage you to read more about dogs, dog behavior, and dogs with children before going down this road. Patricia McConnell is a good place to start (The Other End of the Leash).

Anonymous wrote:My 4-year-old DS (he is #2 of four, all a little over 1.5 years apart) is one of those kids who always wants to be sitting on a lap, hugging, touching, wrestling, etc.. He has siblings who will wrestle with him sometimes, and adults do plenty of cuddling. However, it's all day long to the point of being annoying to pretty much everyone. He can't just hug; he has to jump up and grab you. He can't just sit next to you; he has to lean on you. He can't just play with the baby; he has to pull on him or move him around. You get the picture (I hope).

I was thinking that maybe a dog would be a good idea. I know there are some breeds who would like a kid to lick and roll around with (he isn't rough; I'm not worried about jumping on an animal or pulling tails or anything). I don't know, though.

Does anyone have a kid like this? Would this be a good idea? Do you have a dog? Does the kid love the dog? Does it help him get his touchy-feelies out?

Total disclosure: I am not a dog person, and have a lot of people to take care of already (and a cat) and would only get one if I thought it would be good for my son. My husband loves dogs, and I think all the kids would, too, so I don't think the dog would be in anyway neglected, and I am certainly prepared to put the work in to be a good dog mommy. There are people home all day (I work PT from home, but there's also a nanny and a part time housekeeper), and my husband would help with the training and care when he's home. This would definitely be more work for me, though, so I'm putting it out there: is this a good enough idea to make it worth the commitment to a dog? If we did this, what type of dog should we look for?

Anonymous wrote:Get a gerbil or a rabbit.

Anonymous wrote:OP. I get it. Bad idea.

But the videos I was talking about are of adults playing with their dogs, tugging on a toy and rolling around, the dog jumping up to lick them, the dog jumping on the bed or into their laps. Things like this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1098646/Adorable-video-dogs-greeting-owners.html

I was not thinking of letting my son do whatever to the dog. I was thinking that the dog also might want something my son has, which is an abundance of physical love. I do not want a dog on top of me or jumping up to greet me. DS would love that. It sounds like this is a dog-specific preference and not a breed-specific preference, so we could end up with a dog which isn't into that kind of play even if we chose carefully.

Fair enough. We'll abandon the dog idea at least until the kids are older.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, some food for thought. I know you feel like your son has a need that could be met with !a dog!, but please read some of these:

http://eileenanddogs.com/2015/04/07/posting-dog-and-baby-pictures/

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/06/what-i-learned-too-late-about-keeping-kids-safe-around-dogs/?_r=0

This is also probably one of the best videos I've seen about NOT letting children do what they want, even to a "good dog". This shows a dog communicating rather clearly, and being forced to remain uncomfortable. He somehow remains "tolerant". A HUGE crisis was somehow avoided here, but it might not forever:

https://youtu.be/yaxCYgqh2ao

Omg. I was cringing watching this video--poor dog. I'm sorry, but these parents are idiots. This was a friggin' Rottweiler; it could've done real damage to this toddler just by virtue of its size.

Anonymous wrote:OP, some food for thought. I know you feel like your son has a need that could be met with !a dog!, but please read some of these:

http://eileenanddogs.com/2015/04/07/posting-dog-and-baby-pictures/

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/06/what-i-learned-too-late-about-keeping-kids-safe-around-dogs/?_r=0

This is also probably one of the best videos I've seen about NOT letting children do what they want, even to a "good dog". This shows a dog communicating rather clearly, and being forced to remain uncomfortable. He somehow remains "tolerant". A HUGE crisis was somehow avoided here, but it might not forever:

https://youtu.be/yaxCYgqh2ao

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, sounds like most people think it's a bad idea. I was thinking a larger/mid-sized breed like a lab or, oddly enough, an English Sheep Dog (my grandparents had one), or a standard poodle. Definitely something that wouldn't get smooshed.

I see videos of people rolling around with these dogs all the time. Is that not really the case? Is it not specific to the breed, but just the individual dog?

I wasn't thinking he would have unfettered access to the dog for touching, but more that a dog might like having a kid like that around because the dog would want that kind of attention, and the result would be less touching of everyone else.

We are teaching appropriate boundaries, but as a PP said, this is his "love languages," and if I can find a way to help him get what he needs while still curbing his encroachment on other people's space, I'd like to do that. I thought a dog might help a lot.

You're right, you do see those videos all the time. Any dog trainer worth 2 cents will tell you that the dogs are displaying extreme stress signals. Lip licking, yawning, ears back, "whale eyes", panting, stiff body language, etc. Owners just don't know how to read their dogs' language.

The next step when the signals are ignored is often the dog growling, because it doesn't know how else to get its point across. Then the dog is yelled at for growling, so it stops. Finally, the dog will sometimes resort to biting, because it just wants to be left alone, and the people aren't getting it. Then the dog is handed over to a shelter as a bite risk, or euthanized for "aggression". In reality, the signs were there all along that the dog was unhappy, but people were ignoring them.

DO NOT LET A CHILD ROLL AROUND WITH A DOG.

Ehh some dogs truly do like it. I'm not a child, but my 10lb dog is obsessed with rolling around on the floor and being chased. We roughhouse nightly. But I'm not a 4 year old and the dog knows I wouldn't ever hurt him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, sounds like most people think it's a bad idea. I was thinking a larger/mid-sized breed like a lab or, oddly enough, an English Sheep Dog (my grandparents had one), or a standard poodle. Definitely something that wouldn't get smooshed.

I see videos of people rolling around with these dogs all the time. Is that not really the case? Is it not specific to the breed, but just the individual dog?

I wasn't thinking he would have unfettered access to the dog for touching, but more that a dog might like having a kid like that around because the dog would want that kind of attention, and the result would be less touching of everyone else.

We are teaching appropriate boundaries, but as a PP said, this is his "love languages," and if I can find a way to help him get what he needs while still curbing his encroachment on other people's space, I'd like to do that. I thought a dog might help a lot.

You're right, you do see those videos all the time. Any dog trainer worth 2 cents will tell you that the dogs are displaying extreme stress signals. Lip licking, yawning, ears back, "whale eyes", panting, stiff body language, etc. Owners just don't know how to read their dogs' language.

The next step when the signals are ignored is often the dog growling, because it doesn't know how else to get its point across. Then the dog is yelled at for growling, so it stops. Finally, the dog will sometimes resort to biting, because it just wants to be left alone, and the people aren't getting it. Then the dog is handed over to a shelter as a bite risk, or euthanized for "aggression". In reality, the signs were there all along that the dog was unhappy, but people were ignoring them.

DO NOT LET A CHILD ROLL AROUND WITH A DOG.

Ehh some dogs truly do like it. I'm not a child, but my 10lb dog is obsessed with rolling around on the floor and being chased. We roughhouse nightly. But I'm not a 4 year old and the dog knows I wouldn't ever hurt him.

Anonymous wrote:OK, sounds like most people think it's a bad idea. I was thinking a larger/mid-sized breed like a lab or, oddly enough, an English Sheep Dog (my grandparents had one), or a standard poodle. Definitely something that wouldn't get smooshed.

I see videos of people rolling around with these dogs all the time. Is that not really the case? Is it not specific to the breed, but just the individual dog?

I wasn't thinking he would have unfettered access to the dog for touching, but more that a dog might like having a kid like that around because the dog would want that kind of attention, and the result would be less touching of everyone else.

We are teaching appropriate boundaries, but as a PP said, this is his "love languages," and if I can find a way to help him get what he needs while still curbing his encroachment on other people's space, I'd like to do that. I thought a dog might help a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, sounds like most people think it's a bad idea. I was thinking a larger/mid-sized breed like a lab or, oddly enough, an English Sheep Dog (my grandparents had one), or a standard poodle. Definitely something that wouldn't get smooshed.

I see videos of people rolling around with these dogs all the time. Is that not really the case? Is it not specific to the breed, but just the individual dog?

I wasn't thinking he would have unfettered access to the dog for touching, but more that a dog might like having a kid like that around because the dog would want that kind of attention, and the result would be less touching of everyone else.

We are teaching appropriate boundaries, but as a PP said, this is his "love languages," and if I can find a way to help him get what he needs while still curbing his encroachment on other people's space, I'd like to do that. I thought a dog might help a lot.

You're right, you do see those videos all the time. Any dog trainer worth 2 cents will tell you that the dogs are displaying extreme stress signals. Lip licking, yawning, ears back, "whale eyes", panting, stiff body language, etc. Owners just don't know how to read their dogs' language.

The next step when the signals are ignored is often the dog growling, because it doesn't know how else to get its point across. Then the dog is yelled at for growling, so it stops. Finally, the dog will sometimes resort to biting, because it just wants to be left alone, and the people aren't getting it. Then the dog is handed over to a shelter as a bite risk, or euthanized for "aggression". In reality, the signs were there all along that the dog was unhappy, but people were ignoring them.

DO NOT LET A CHILD ROLL AROUND WITH A DOG.