My DH said nearly the same thing when we were discussing the Brock Turner situation. Decent guys just don't do that kind of thing. They know it's wrong, even if they are really drunk themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

Why is it some women DON'T feel shame? When I was a kid an older guy fondled my boobs who was a stranger. I felt VERY embarassed about it and didn't want to tell anyone at school because some kids knew the guy and asked me what happened. The only people I told was my mom who I'm very close to. However now as an adult a cousin was raped at the age I was harassed by that stranger guy. She was raped by a friend but she laughed about her rape while telling a friend of hers and continued dating guys and posting provocative pictures of her body online then she supposedly attempted suicide then she posts pics on her page about the aftermath of it and then all her posts on facebook are about rape basically telling the world or all 2000 people on her facebook that she was raped. I'm starting to think this is just a call for attention and there might not have been a rape. I was touched by a complete stranger and that was embarassing to me and I'd never 'show it off' to anyone.

PP, you ought to be ashamed. Do you know what your cousin sounds like? Someone who was sexually abused as a child. Her reaction sounds very similar to others I have read about when chold hood survivors of sexual abuse are victimized as adults. She may not have been raped, but you can't say she wasn't based solely on your belief that she hasn't shown an appropriate level of shame in your mind.

Also from what I know there wasn't any childhood sexual abuse before she claimed rape. She's from a loving upright family but since her and brother are in the same school (a VERY top rated school and in the honor roll) and already started drinking I think maybe it's just the company they are in. Maybe it's even cultural. I don't know.

Why would you. You seem very ill informed about sexual abuse. Kids in upright loving families are getting molested every day. Look at the Duggars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

Why is it some women DON'T feel shame? When I was a kid an older guy fondled my boobs who was a stranger. I felt VERY embarassed about it and didn't want to tell anyone at school because some kids knew the guy and asked me what happened. The only people I told was my mom who I'm very close to. However now as an adult a cousin was raped at the age I was harassed by that stranger guy. She was raped by a friend but she laughed about her rape while telling a friend of hers and continued dating guys and posting provocative pictures of her body online then she supposedly attempted suicide then she posts pics on her page about the aftermath of it and then all her posts on facebook are about rape basically telling the world or all 2000 people on her facebook that she was raped. I'm starting to think this is just a call for attention and there might not have been a rape. I was touched by a complete stranger and that was embarassing to me and I'd never 'show it off' to anyone.

PP, you ought to be ashamed. Do you know what your cousin sounds like? Someone who was sexually abused as a child. Her reaction sounds very similar to others I have read about when chold hood survivors of sexual abuse are victimized as adults. She may not have been raped, but you can't say she wasn't based solely on your belief that she hasn't shown an appropriate level of shame in your mind.

Also from what I know there wasn't any childhood sexual abuse before she claimed rape. She's from a loving upright family but since her and brother are in the same school (a VERY top rated school and in the honor roll) and already started drinking I think maybe it's just the company they are in. Maybe it's even cultural. I don't know.

It could be she was unaffected by it. Some people are. It does sound like acting out, though, which people do after bad experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

Why is it some women DON'T feel shame? When I was a kid an older guy fondled my boobs who was a stranger. I felt VERY embarassed about it and didn't want to tell anyone at school because some kids knew the guy and asked me what happened. The only people I told was my mom who I'm very close to. However now as an adult a cousin was raped at the age I was harassed by that stranger guy. She was raped by a friend but she laughed about her rape while telling a friend of hers and continued dating guys and posting provocative pictures of her body online then she supposedly attempted suicide then she posts pics on her page about the aftermath of it and then all her posts on facebook are about rape basically telling the world or all 2000 people on her facebook that she was raped. I'm starting to think this is just a call for attention and there might not have been a rape. I was touched by a complete stranger and that was embarassing to me and I'd never 'show it off' to anyone.

PP, you ought to be ashamed. Do you know what your cousin sounds like? Someone who was sexually abused as a child. Her reaction sounds very similar to others I have read about when chold hood survivors of sexual abuse are victimized as adults. She may not have been raped, but you can't say she wasn't based solely on your belief that she hasn't shown an appropriate level of shame in your mind.

Also from what I know there wasn't any childhood sexual abuse before she claimed rape. She's from a loving upright family but since her and brother are in the same school (a VERY top rated school and in the honor roll) and already started drinking I think maybe it's just the company they are in. Maybe it's even cultural. I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

Why is it some women DON'T feel shame? When I was a kid an older guy fondled my boobs who was a stranger. I felt VERY embarassed about it and didn't want to tell anyone at school because some kids knew the guy and asked me what happened. The only people I told was my mom who I'm very close to. However now as an adult a cousin was raped at the age I was harassed by that stranger guy. She was raped by a friend but she laughed about her rape while telling a friend of hers and continued dating guys and posting provocative pictures of her body online then she supposedly attempted suicide then she posts pics on her page about the aftermath of it and then all her posts on facebook are about rape basically telling the world or all 2000 people on her facebook that she was raped. I'm starting to think this is just a call for attention and there might not have been a rape. I was touched by a complete stranger and that was embarassing to me and I'd never 'show it off' to anyone.

PP, you ought to be ashamed. Do you know what your cousin sounds like? Someone who was sexually abused as a child. Her reaction sounds very similar to others I have read about when chold hood survivors of sexual abuse are victimized as adults. She may not have been raped, but you can't say she wasn't based solely on your belief that she hasn't shown an appropriate level of shame in your mind.

Why would I be ashamed? I'm just saying what I PERSONALLY went through and that comparison to my cousin's. I'm no expert on child sex abuse problems. GOD people on this stupid forum are so quick to judge! Everyone wants to be right it's laughable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

Why is it some women DON'T feel shame? When I was a kid an older guy fondled my boobs who was a stranger. I felt VERY embarassed about it and didn't want to tell anyone at school because some kids knew the guy and asked me what happened. The only people I told was my mom who I'm very close to. However now as an adult a cousin was raped at the age I was harassed by that stranger guy. She was raped by a friend but she laughed about her rape while telling a friend of hers and continued dating guys and posting provocative pictures of her body online then she supposedly attempted suicide then she posts pics on her page about the aftermath of it and then all her posts on facebook are about rape basically telling the world or all 2000 people on her facebook that she was raped. I'm starting to think this is just a call for attention and there might not have been a rape. I was touched by a complete stranger and that was embarassing to me and I'd never 'show it off' to anyone.

PP, you ought to be ashamed. Do you know what your cousin sounds like? Someone who was sexually abused as a child. Her reaction sounds very similar to others I have read about when chold hood survivors of sexual abuse are victimized as adults. She may not have been raped, but you can't say she wasn't based solely on your belief that she hasn't shown an appropriate level of shame in your mind.

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

Why is it some women DON'T feel shame? When I was a kid an older guy fondled my boobs who was a stranger. I felt VERY embarassed about it and didn't want to tell anyone at school because some kids knew the guy and asked me what happened. The only people I told was my mom who I'm very close to. However now as an adult a cousin was raped at the age I was harassed by that stranger guy. She was raped by a friend but she laughed about her rape while telling a friend of hers and continued dating guys and posting provocative pictures of her body online then she supposedly attempted suicide then she posts pics on her page about the aftermath of it and then all her posts on facebook are about rape basically telling the world or all 2000 people on her facebook that she was raped. I'm starting to think this is just a call for attention and there might not have been a rape. I was touched by a complete stranger and that was embarassing to me and I'd never 'show it off' to anyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude of "entitlement" is pervasive. It is not a "male only" problem, though in this context it clearly manifests that way.

People started to be told that they were "entitled" to various things. That they were owed by society, merely as a result of being alive. You can see this everywhere. From home ownership to being entitled to a 6 figure job.

Unfortunately, and sickeningly, this sense of entitlement has erupted into violence against others. Of course, it could simply be that information just flows more freely, but 34 years ago when I started college, rape and date rape occurred. But certainly not with the prevalence it is reported today and definitely without the seeming sense of impunity with which it is perpetrated.

I hate to sound grandparent-like, but back in those days your frat brothers were far more likely to beat the shit out of you than celebrate you for this behavior.

So do you think rape has increased, or do you think it is reported more now than it was before? That is what I don't fully know.

I think there's been a normalization of sex outside of a relationship that wasn't there even as recently as the 25 years ago when I was in college. I think that expectation combined with the attitude of entitlement discussed by the author has probably led to an increase in these situations, above and beyond any increase in reports.

Anonymous wrote:Is this the face of a man who thinks he's entitled?

Apparently so.

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

+1 in all respects.

Man here. This nails it. Thanks for posting.

LoveLiveMusicDad wrote:OP-- Mike Nifong would agree with you, too.

What exactly are you trying to say?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude of "entitlement" is pervasive. It is not a "male only" problem, though in this context it clearly manifests that way.

People started to be told that they were "entitled" to various things. That they were owed by society, merely as a result of being alive. You can see this everywhere. From home ownership to being entitled to a 6 figure job.

Unfortunately, and sickeningly, this sense of entitlement has erupted into violence against others. Of course, it could simply be that information just flows more freely, but 34 years ago when I started college, rape and date rape occurred. But certainly not with the prevalence it is reported today and definitely without the seeming sense of impunity with which it is perpetrated.

I hate to sound grandparent-like, but back in those days your frat brothers were far more likely to beat the shit out of you than celebrate you for this behavior.

So do you think rape has increased, or do you think it is reported more now than it was before? That is what I don't fully know.

I imagine it is both.

My guess is that the number of "stereotypical" gun/knife/dark alley stranger assaults has remained static in real terms and has increased in nominal terms.

For date/acquaintance type assault I think that it was historically way under-reported and I think that there has also been a significant increase. So in both real and nominal terms, this sort of assault has risen over the years. It would be interesting to know, though, whether an epidemiologist, using adjusted numbers, would conclude that the numbers have stabilized, whether it is increasing at an increasing rate (which I believe was the case in the 90s and for the period thereafter), increasing at a decreasing rate or decreasing.

OP-- Mike Nifong would agree with you, too.

Anonymous wrote:Damn this is right on. I went to an elite private college in the northeast. There were TONS of these guys there. Some of the things that happened to women on campus were definitely criminal. But were never reported as such - because the women felt such shame.......

At Duke too. Entitlement run rampant.