Anonymous wrote:I'm in the early stages of this myself, so certainly no expert. But I've also spent a lot of time thinking about my mother-in-law who has clearly felt a lifelong disappointment because she had three boys. In her case, she's really into "feminine" hobbies like cooking and sewing, and she was disappointed that she couldn't share them with her sons. And maybe she couldn't in the 1970s.

My current plan--again, in the early stages, as my son is only 2.5--is just to create the relationship that I want to have, regardless of sex. We currently cook and bake together a ton because all toddlers like that (and boy toddlers don't yet know that "it's only for girls"). I was taught to knit by an ex-boyfriend who was his mother's only child, and she was an avid knitter. I am now an avid knitter myself, and I plan to offer it as a hobby if my son is so inclined. I obviously won't force any of these things, but it seems that kids like to be invited to share in whatever their parents enjoy. (I also enjoy volunteering, politics, church, bicycling, and other less-gendered things, which I will share with my son.) The same thing could be true of reading or celebrity gossip or spa trips or hiking or whatever passions you have that you would want to share with a daughter.

I wonder if one of the reasons that daughters end up closer with their moms than sons is because moms foster those relationships better with their daughters (out of familiarity, presumably). Moms of only sons don't have any choice--if we want those intimate bonds, we've got to create them with our sons!

I love this post! I am also AMA and currently pregnant with our one and done baby. I have struggled with the fact that I won't have a little girl to play princess with or have a dollhouse or tea parties. The further I get in this pregnancy tho I realize what I do have is a chance to have a meaningful relationship with my child. And I have an amazing sweet and wonderful husband who will teach his son to be the same! Someday hopefully my son can be the Prince Charming for some nice girl that my husband has been for me!

(Also, to be clear: I have no idea if my approach will work. It's just what helps me think about my life as the mom of a boy.)

Anonymous wrote:You are weird OP

Anonymous wrote:(PP here who said I find this all very sad - full disclosure, I have two boys and don't plan on having any more children, and came from a family of four girls. I can assure you that girls are not always better, nor are their relationships with their mothers.)

Anonymous wrote:relief

Anonymous wrote:These kinds of threads make me feel really sad. I know feelings are what they are, but all these notions (both by OP and PPs) suggest that boys and men are somehow lesser human beings than women. I'm not sure that it doesn't get subconsciously incorporated in how they are parented (I really hope that it doesn't). Whether or not your child is a boy or girl has NO bearing on their likelihood of caring for you in your old age, or being close with you generally. Seriously, it doesn't. These are all constructs, both social and personal based on your own life experiences, but they are not anything close to universal truths. Boys are just as valuable, just as precious, and have just as wonderful relationships with their parents as girls do.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what it would be like to be a mother of a girl, so I don't fret too much about it. My son and I have very similar personalities, so we just get each other in a way that is so, so great. We can always make each other laugh and often I will know what he is going to say before he opens his mouth. He is close to DH, too, but in very different ways.

[b]Will we always be close (he is 10 now)? I don't know. Having a girl is no guarantee of a good relationship later, so I am just enjoying raising him. I have plenty of other relationships that meet my needs for shopping, happy hour and girl talk.