Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have a DH who is hypersensitive about his own feelings but a complete clod over yours? I'm 30 weeks pregnant and not once has DH walked to the store 3 minutes away to satisfy a craving I'm having. But at 7 in the morning he's upset I didn't add cheddar his eggs. Or he says I'm yelling at him but he starts clanging pots and pans when I'm trying to talk to him. I just need to breathe.

Relax ... just fry up some tuna.

Actully, I think we fought less after kids ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound whiny and hypersensitive.

Even... butthurt.

+1

+2 30 weeks and you have expectations of him going to a store for a craving?! Get off your butt and get it yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hot tip: stop using stupid phrases like "butthurt." It speaks to the level of communication.

+1000000

Kinda like this? http://d1j19yvx1huxho.cloudfront.net/thumbs/a0681_0002.png

Anonymous wrote:Hot tip: stop using stupid phrases like "butthurt." It speaks to the level of communication.

+1000000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what post the PP's read. OP your husband sounds like an ass.

Right?! I can't imagine my husband ever whining because I or anyone forgot to put cheddar in his eggs. He's an adult.

I think they're reasonably reading into OP's post because DH isn't here to defend himself? It was ok for her to scream at him because he was banging posts and she needed to scream over that? Christ. We're only hearing her side and its still razor thin.

Friend had a DH like this. She thought having a kid would make him think of someone besides himself. Nope. Only thing that's changed is he's a selfish ass with a kid.

Anonymous wrote:You married a man-child.

Sounds like it.

Anonymous wrote:Hot tip: stop using stupid phrases like "butthurt." It speaks to the level of communication.

+10

The real problem here is not whether or not it is down for him to feel hurt or valid for you to feel hurt. The real problem is that you were setting up Falls equivalencies. Instead of deciding that he is not allowed to be mad about something because he didn't do a different thing that you wanted him to do, decide that going forward if he is mad about The real problem here is not whether or not it is down for him to feel hurt or valid for you to feel hurt. The real problem is that you were setting up Falls equivalencies. Instead of deciding that he is not allowed to be mad about something because he didn't do a different thing that you wanted him to do, decide that going forward if he is mad about something (Such as you preparing his breakfast in correctly), then you simply decide whether or not you were willing to change how you handle that particular subject in the future to please him or whether he is asking for something you are not willing to provide. There is really not an objective universal standard for whether or not preparing breakfast a specific way or any of the other things you mentioned is reasonable or demanding. There is only the dynamic of your individual and unique relationship.

So, in the future, if you want X, first ask yourself whether X seems to you to be a reasonable request of a partner, and if so ask your husband politely and explicitly to do/provide X. "It would really help me to relax and focus on the baby if you would pick up some ice cream at the store. I have been craving it all day."

If he is demanding Y, ask yourself whether that is something that you, personally and individually, are willing to provide in a relationship. If so, you can discuss the way he is asking if you feel that he is being too demanding, or you can let it go (err on the side of the latter). If you are not willing to do/provide what he is asking for, then tell him so. "I am happy to make you breakfast, but I am going to make it the way I usually cook it for myself. If you would prefer something different then I can leave it to you to make your own next time."

Anonymous wrote:Hot tip: stop using stupid phrases like "butthurt." It speaks to the level of communication.

+1 million.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what post the PP's read. OP your husband sounds like an ass.

Right?! I can't imagine my husband ever whining because I or anyone forgot to put cheddar in his eggs. He's an adult.

If this is how you are at 30 weeks pregnant - keeping score on who does/doesn't walk to the store or add cheese to eggs - you have a rude awakening when the baby comes. Just wait until it's "you slept 30 more minutes than me today" or "I've changed six diapers, three of which were poop, and you've only done two pee ones." Then you'll both know the meaning of butthurt.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have a DH who is hypersensitive about his own feelings but a complete clod over yours? I'm 30 weeks pregnant and not once has DH walked to the store 3 minutes away to satisfy a craving I'm having. But at 7 in the morning he's upset I didn't add cheddar his eggs. Or he says I'm yelling at him but he starts clanging pots and pans when I'm trying to talk to him. I just need to breathe.

1. No
2. Have you asked him to, or do you expect him to read your mind?
3. Define "upset."
4. Maybe you were yelling.
5. Breathe. This is small stuff.

Anonymous wrote:Hot tip: stop using stupid phrases like "butthurt." It speaks to the level of communication.

Great tip, thanks! Hadn't thought about that.