Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for all the replies. I think I will fly her out to stay with me for a while to calm down.

She is really upset about the "face doesn't fit" comment because she suffers from severe acne (just started Accutane recently), and is very self-conscious about it. She seems to think that they fired her literally because of her face. She once overheard the two women who were unkind to her talking about her skin, and now she's convinced that she was fired because she is "too ugly" and "no one wants to look at a face like mine." It is probably good that I am in a different country because I would like to go find her supervisor and slap him. The poor kid. I wish they had just told her a reason, or at least not said anything about a "face" at all.

I find that comment to be deeply, deeply disturbing and potentially discriminatory. Consult an employment lawyer. Not sure what the effect of whatever it is that she signed would be, though. Lawyer up.

Anonymous wrote:This is her first lesson in office politics. You cannot cry at work and ask to go home early. You cannot piss off people with more clout than you. Is this "fair"? Nope, but it's how it is.
She will find a new job. Sign the agreement, take the severance, and move on.

+1. Good opportunity to learn and grow up.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. Thanks for the replies. Is it normal for the supervisor to refuse to tell her why she was fired? That just seems so weird to me.

I am 99% sure that she is being truthful, and that she has not inadvertently done something stupid; she's very responsible. I guess that 1% uncertainty is something I was focusing on when she was telling me that they refused to tell her why. I would think that something like this shouldn't be a surprise?

He probably meant it was a bad team hit personality wise -and by your account it does sound like it was. Even if pressed, he could easily just say they no longer need her position/her skills/etc so it's not like she would have been vindicated by some other answer.

This is her first lesson in office politics. You cannot cry at work and ask to go home early. You cannot piss off people with more clout than you. Is this "fair"? Nope, but it's how it is.
She will find a new job. Sign the agreement, take the severance, and move on.

OP don't make this more dramatic than it is. She received a good severance package; time to pick up and move on.

OP I think the advice you've gotten here is all good. You need to be careful not to fuel the fire with this cousin. Talk over what went well and what didn't in the job and help her figure out how to make it work next time. Don't blame the company, this kind of thing happens. You also need to help her with her self esteem. Taking a comment like the "face doesn't fit" so personally is not helpful for her. Is it possible she has misinterpreted other comments? Does she have trouble with social cues? Maybe she needs to work on those aspects of her relationships with coworkers.

Spend the time she is with you working on her resume and identifying job leads. That's what she needs to be focusing on right now.

It likely has nothing to do with her actual face, as others have said. From what you have relayed in the post, it is likely that she didn't fit it with the more senior employees, like those two she said were bullying her. Nothing will make you lost a job quicker than getting on the bad side of someone more powerful than you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for all the replies. I think I will fly her out to stay with me for a while to calm down.

She is really upset about the "face doesn't fit" comment because she suffers from severe acne (just started Accutane recently), and is very self-conscious about it. She seems to think that they fired her literally because of her face. She once overheard the two women who were unkind to her talking about her skin, and now she's convinced that she was fired because she is "too ugly" and "no one wants to look at a face like mine." It is probably good that I am in a different country because I would like to go find her supervisor and slap him. The poor kid. I wish they had just told her a reason, or at least not said anything about a "face" at all.

Oh gosh. That is awful. I'm so sorry for her. It's good she has you in her life. She needs to take her money and move to a better position. It's important she works on her self esteem because being fired/laid off can really do a number on a person's confidence and self esteem (especially important if she has these issue normally)

Yes, she does need to work on her self-esteem. When she was in college, she was very depressed about her skin, so much so that she took a semester off. I'm worried now because I had read that Accutane can cause or worsen depression, and now with this, I know she's not doing well. I'm booking tickets for her right now.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm going to second a PPs question: how long did your cousin work there? Two months of severance isn't bad, although the confidentiality provision -- even if common -- is annoying. Are you sure it's not a non-disparagement clause rather than a prohibition about discussing the company in any way?

She worked there for two years; it was her first after-college job. I guess it is a non-disparagement clause?

I am very thankful for the advice. I am a little bit relieved to hear that the contract and procedure were normal.

OP, I'm going to second a PPs question: how long did your cousin work there? Two months of severance isn't bad, although the confidentiality provision -- even if common -- is annoying. Are you sure it's not a non-disparagement clause rather than a prohibition about discussing the company in any way?

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for all the replies. I think I will fly her out to stay with me for a while to calm down.

She is really upset about the "face doesn't fit" comment because she suffers from severe acne (just started Accutane recently), and is very self-conscious about it. She seems to think that they fired her literally because of her face. She once overheard the two women who were unkind to her talking about her skin, and now she's convinced that she was fired because she is "too ugly" and "no one wants to look at a face like mine." It is probably good that I am in a different country because I would like to go find her supervisor and slap him. The poor kid. I wish they had just told her a reason, or at least not said anything about a "face" at all.

Oh gosh. That is awful. I'm so sorry for her. It's good she has you in her life. She needs to take her money and move to a better position. It's important she works on her self esteem because being fired/laid off can really do a number on a person's confidence and self esteem (especially important if she has these issue normally)

Ok, so this does suck all around. But your niece sounds young, and naive. (and you are not helping her). I'm sure if I was 24 and loved my job and was fired I'd be exactly the same way.

But at this point, what's done is done. Her crying the day she was fired probably led her supervisor (who probably, as other have said, didn't handle this with HR guidance to begin with) to bring in HR and decide she shouldn't stay the week.

She was treated as a professional, though. A severance package is a good thing for a 24 year old with 2 years experience. Was she also paid out any vacation?

If she had remained calm, she should have said, I need 24 hours to think about this and left immediately carrying a copy so that it could be legally reviewed. What else is in it? She agrees not to badmouth them, they are agree not to badmouth her? Are they going to provide a reference?

Signing a letter like this also sometimes means you've agreed to resign, rather than be fired. Is that in the letter? If so, the good news is when asked on job applications she does not need to check that she has been fired. The bad news is she won't be able to apply for unemployment (which does not apply if you have resigned your job).

I think you need to read up a bit on this (you're actually getting good advice on this board) and tell her buck up. This is the way the corporate world works. Better she learned this lesson now, while she is young, than naively give of herself to a company that would fire her just like that.

Look, it sucks. I've been there. I'm still (years later) upset at being fired. But there's no going back. The best she can do is pick herself up, learn from it, and move on, with a hard lesson learned. She can feel sad, yes, and that they treated her unfairly. But she can't let this define who she is professionally, or allow it to affect her so that she's not able o get additional work.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for all the replies. I think I will fly her out to stay with me for a while to calm down.

She is really upset about the "face doesn't fit" comment because she suffers from severe acne (just started Accutane recently), and is very self-conscious about it. She seems to think that they fired her literally because of her face. She once overheard the two women who were unkind to her talking about her skin, and now she's convinced that she was fired because she is "too ugly" and "no one wants to look at a face like mine." It is probably good that I am in a different country because I would like to go find her supervisor and slap him. The poor kid. I wish they had just told her a reason, or at least not said anything about a "face" at all.

Oh, that is awful OP. It's a British phrase. I am sure that's not what they meant, but it just sounds so painful for her.

If it helps, here are links to where that phrase is used meaning personality, now actual face.

http://www.theguardian.com/money/work-blog/2013/sep/26/personality-test-face-fit-at-work

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/jobs/5012805/Ask-John-What-to-do-when-your-face-doesnt-fit.html

http://www.newstatesman.com/media/media/2012/11/sometimes-your-face-just-doesn%E2%80%99t-fit

Most places don't give severance when you're fired for cause so this inept-sounding boss probably fired her and then told HR, face comment and all, and the package and lawyer appeared to mop up the mess. She sounds way better off but I am sure it still stings.

OP again. Thanks for all the replies. I think I will fly her out to stay with me for a while to calm down.

She is really upset about the "face doesn't fit" comment because she suffers from severe acne (just started Accutane recently), and is very self-conscious about it. She seems to think that they fired her literally because of her face. She once overheard the two women who were unkind to her talking about her skin, and now she's convinced that she was fired because she is "too ugly" and "no one wants to look at a face like mine." It is probably good that I am in a different country because I would like to go find her supervisor and slap him. The poor kid. I wish they had just told her a reason, or at least not said anything about a "face" at all.