Anonymous wrote:Op you are an awesome person with a great attitude. I bet everybody loves you.
Maybe DH doesn't come the whole time or gets time alone - and a few extras for going along - you know...

Good for you - life is short!!

OP here, and thank you. for those who are suggesting that my husband stay home, he would never do that. He's all about "family", just on a smaller, more organized scale We vacation with his family frequently (just did 8 days together in April... EIGHT DAYS!) and it's a much smaller crowd who expects us all to move as one unit. It's more regimented, which is hard for me, but I do it.

He wouldn't go to a hotel - He already worries he might a reputation in my family for being "uptight" because he isn't as "go with the flow" as we are. Once we had one of my cousins come with his wife and 4 kids, and my cousin asked if he and his wife could take us (Husband and me) out to dinner and let their kids watch mine. I was fine with it, but DH was not - too many kids home alone, etc... I got it, and we didn't go. But he was very worried about coming across as an "a**hole" (his words, not mine) to my family. When I explained it to my cousin, he was like "I get it, he wasn't raised in chaos, so let's get takeout".

I want to get a solution that he can be OK with.. thinking maybe 2/3 nights there and the rest with his Dad. I will miss some time (and some laughs for sure, because my family is FUN!), but this way we can hopefully all be happy.

You go with the kids, and dh stays home!

Op you are an awesome person with a great attitude. I bet everybody loves you.
Maybe DH doesn't come the whole time or gets time alone - and a few extras for going along - you know...

Good for you - life is short!!

Anonymous wrote:Could dh stay at a hotel and visit during day?

Honestly that sounds like hell to me.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I think you and your husband seem entitled and out of touch.

Actually, she seems not entitled or out of touch at all. She is not complaining, is trying to accommodate others, isn't making a big deal because it's free, etc. She's just looking for ideas. You seem out of touch, PP.

I'm an only child who lived a very isolated childhood.
This would be a nightmare for me.

I think you should have a solid plan B on tap before you talk to your husband about this, OP.

OP here; i get that, but not for anything, we had "booked first" - we already took off from work (My husband needs to schedule his leave 90 days in advance, so we can't change weeks) and my sister agreed to that week. Then she was talking to my cousins, the idea of a visit came, up, she told them "yes", forgetting that it was the same week she had promised me. So what I am trying NOT to do is say "I was here first, so therefore you should reconsider", and see if we can all make it work, but at the same time, this was something that was already planned to be just my family, so my husband had one expectation that is now very different.

Anonymous wrote:I think you and your husband seem entitled and out of touch.

Why? They booked it first? The other cousins shouldn't come or the DH should stay home.

I'd see how your cousins feel about this. Maybe they are not as enthusiastic as you about being crammed in for a week. It sounds like they are already a big group. I wouldn't be thrilled, even if the lodging was free, if another family (even relatives) appeared on my vacation. It would be one thing if it were your sister showing up since she owns the place, but you don't.

Anonymous wrote:Personally, it sounds super fun to me. Got to keep in mind the husband though, who if he isn't a fan of crowds and lack of planning, may need to go off on his own occasionally.

This is OP: exactly. This isn't my husband's jam. I want to try and respect that.. maybe he meets me halfway and we do half a week with his Dad and half a week in the throes of it all.

OP here: what makes me "entitled and out of touch"? Genuinely curious... what am I asking for? I am not asking anyone to change plans, nor am I expecting special treatment. I am actually quite happy to be the "more the merrier" houseguest, because that's how I grew up. He didn't, so I am trying to be both sensitive to his feelings and yet still hang out with my (large, unorganized but totally fun) family. Please enlighten me - I want this to be a fun week.

I think you and your husband seem entitled and out of touch.

My opinion is anyone in or post college who thinks they deserve their own room on a FREE family vacation should be the ones getting a hotel.

Sounds horrible to me but maybe he can stay in a hotel. Woudl all of the adults have bedrooms? How big is the house? 4 bedroom or 7+?

Agreed, anyone post college (and maybe in college) or that age needs own room. Younger kids can crash together. What about getting your own place nearby?